Over on Dovbear’s blog, the Bray of Fundie guestposts his annual Thanksgiving rant. He cites an interesting list of reasons why he will not have quite the thanksgivingest spirit this coming Thursday.
Intermarriage, assimilation, Reconstructionist and Humanist Judaism, sex among the young, absurd chumras, tastelessness, emptyheadedness, soullessness, drugs, indolence, debt, etcetera.
As well as "having the perennially awful Detroit Lions be one of the two permanent host teams for it's Turkey Day NFL Football offerings. The games are NEVER competitive and this is bad for the football fans, Jewish and non-Jewish alike!"
Shoyn.
SEX AMONG THE YOUNG
He's right. Only old people should have sex. They've had more practice.
Problem is, we can hear their aged bones creaking. Often accompanied by weird gurgling sounds and pained yelps. It disturbs us when we sleep.
Apparently, practice doesn't make perfect.
Roast turkey is NO substitute for sex. Unless you're really old. Or really young.
Now step away from the bird, you pervert.
And don't TOUCH that gravy boat! Not until you put the tarp down.
I'm fifty one years old. That's still young.
Still young.
I do not own a tarp.
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THE TURKEYS
If you do your research assiduously, you can discover lots of evidence that American families are completely dysfunctional and consist of tr...
6 comments:
Well, there's always the perennial favorite - "what can we do with the turkey neck?" game.
This post is so awesome I am almost speechless.
Well, there's always the perennial favorite - "what can we do with the turkey neck?" game.
That man has become immortal.
Betcha his grandkids avoid him.
Tzipporah,
Yes, I thought so too.
One of my friends asked me after reading it whether I had been kidnapped by a zen-sex cult.
I have to wonder how he knows about such things.
Turkeys, sex. Sex, turkeys. It all seems so intuitive!
Example of "thinking outside the box". Our Marketing Department should know.
Most inspiring thing I've read this week.
I need a tarpaulin.
Thank you.
Whatever he did with that turkey neck, it appears that the link no longer works.
I don't really wish to know.
But I am sad.
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