DELAWARE - LAND OF PINHEADS AND GIANTS

In Delaware, a state with a long history of opposition to masturbation and science, the Teaparty has scored a major victory. As of today, their Republican candidate for the Senate is an angry woman who never graduated college, and has spoken in public about masturbation.


Let me clarify that: Christine O'Donnell is an anti-masturbation crusader. All masturbation should cease.

Apparently it didn't work for her.

Or her hypothetical husband.

[See: http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/09/the_ranks_of_moderate_establis.html]



BAN MASTURBATION!

You know, I never thought I would ever use that sentence. But now is the time. If casual sex leads to unwanted babies, obviously masturbation leads to Christine O'Donnell.
Don't ask me how.
It's just a theory - like creationism.

QUOTE: "Well, as the senator from Tennessee mentioned, evolution is a theory and it's exactly that. There is not enough evidence, consistent evidence to make it as fact, and I say that because for theory to become a fact, it needs to consistently have the same results after it goes through a series of tests. The tests that they put — that they use to support evolution do not have consistent results. Now too many people are blindly accepting evolution as fact. But when you get down to the hard evidence, it's merely a theory."

That's from Christine O'Donnell, stalwart citizen and conservative people's choice in Delaware, on one of her favourite subjects.
Likely she will demand the repeal of evolution once she's elected.
Which she will be, oh yes she will, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Not because the people of the Great State of Delaware are poltroons, or complete imbeciles, or just plumb bat-shit loony, but because in addition to all that, they really want to be entertained.
They're like regular Americans in that respect.

We Americans like our politicians to be rather amusing and not significantly smarter than ourselves. We'll vote for candidates who provide us with funny material, or 'can you BELIEVE he said that' moments. It explains Bush, Schwarzenegger, Gingrich.

People in Delaware resemble us greatly.

Except that they're willing to push the envelope much farther than we would.


They'll make Christine O'Donnell their senator. She's a chaste woman, a creationist, someone's daughter, and, in so many ways, representative of the people of Delaware.


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