Monday, August 30, 2010

TORTURING THE KITTEN

My better half has had a severe cold. For over a week, Savage Kitten was wheezing, sneezing, and rubbing her nose raw. Most amazing.

I had the same cold, but got over it in one day. Very quick recovery.
I credit my healthy lifestyle. Her, on the other hand........

Part of it may be related to the monthly visitor. Women tend to be more susceptible to opportunistic infections at that time. Their body temperature also tends to make them much better hosts.
If YOU were a virus, would YOU infest a cold man? Or would you far rather victimize a hot young thing? Even if cranky and foul-tempered.

I think we know the answer to that question, don't we?

There was, however, a very distinct upside. She could barely smell. Almost not a darn thing. Not only did that mean I could be a bit, errm, casual about certain things..........
It also meant she didn't notice me smoking in the teevee room.

Normally Savage Kitten hates smoking in the apartment. While she's "tolerant" of my bad habits like smoking and drinking and scratching myself, she prefers it if I pursue my smellier peculiarities either outside or in the kitchen.

The public can darn well put up with it, she and the Teddy Bear (senior room mate, oldest friend) won't.
Go smoke the devil's weed elsewhere! Feh! Bad man! Smelly!

[Actually, the Teddy Bear (Ms. Bruin) is surprisingly tolerant, and usually doesn't comment. Maybe she likes the manly smell of tobacco. Does it remind her of autumn leaves?]


Last week I enjoyed several bowls of MacBaren's Virginia Flake (a nice pressed tobacco with a slight aroma added - anise, I think), as well as Orlik Golden Sliced (the choice of all sober judges, being pressed Virginia with a little Burley for a bit of oomph).
Plus three or four bowls of Samuel Gawith St. James Flake (tasty medium Virginias made zingy with Perique).

And a cigar.

A nice sizeable dark Nicaraguan.

Although it made her eyes sting (the air was blue with smoke), she didn't even notice. She was too busy watching borrowed movies, and her nose was thoroughly plugged up.
I'm not sure if the redness around the eyes was from my smoke (doubtful), her infection (possible), or watching Felix and Oscar trying to live together (probable). One fastidious to a fault, the other a cigar-chomping, poker-playing, hard-drinking, bachelor with a vengeance. Quite the comedy.

At one point she turned to me and said "you know, you're rather like Felix".

Felix and Oscar were in a restaurant at that moment - Oscar had ordered a pastrami sandwich and a beer, Felix was making deep throaty ahooharharrrh sounds to drain his ears, which attracted the attention of other patrons. This was after a long neurotic disquisition about his allergies, and a bellyache about ventilation, dust, and airconditioning.

'Scuse me, Hon, but do you notice the Corona? Oh wait - you're referring to my cleanliness, aren't you?


"You're rather like Felix"


Okay.... I'll take that in the spirit of compliment that you intended.
You're too kind.

If I had known how profoundly affected her nose was, I would have upped the ante, and smoked pipefulls of something dark and stinky with Latakia. But, you see, I was just pushing the envelope. Very carefully.
I did not want to risk the Teddy Bear's wrath.
Turns out Ms. Bruin had a cold too.
Remarkable coincidence.
Darn.


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