Wednesday, August 04, 2010

REAL LUMBERJACK

A few years ago I mentioned that pipe smokers who have spent money on a tin of tobacco that they will never finish are a sour lot, given to vituperation and lyric fury. Consequently, the reviews they may render of a despicable product can be a joy to read.

Follows a sampling - some paraphrasis, and the actual name of the product omitted.


REVIEWS

"This is poo, and I'm tipping the rest of this ghastly mess in the dump. It smelled like the crapper caught fire.
If you like this you probably like smoking road kill."

"This one is not for sissies."

"I'm chucking the pipe in which I smoked this into the furnace."

"It tasted like unadulterated bear crap - not that I've ever smoked bear crap, but I will NOT spend my money on something that tastes like arse."

"It turned too harsh very quickly and made me sick."

"Heavy, sweet, and medicinal. It made me sick."

"Unique. It made me sick."

"This tobacco leaves a sticky brown residue on your hands. It takes great effort to light, then tastes like it smells - floral soap and chocolate.

I don't really like it that much."

"My wife did NOT like the way it smelled. But the dog didn't run away."

"I sing in the choir."


"It made me sick."

"Three stars, except for the burn and bite."

"The offensive topping smells like a sewer exploded - I've never tasted burning sewer, but you-all are real lumberjacks."

.........

Well now.
This sounds fascinating. Delightful, even.
I shan't tell you what product from which highly esteemed company this is, so as not to influence your buying decisions.
All I can say is I've got to get me a tin.




TOBACCO INDEX


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3 comments:

Because you just knew that somebody would have to link this said...

What a smelly post.

The back of the hill said...

Mounties. They're so deliciously butch.

Femmy said...

It was my father. He wanted me to smoke aromatics. But I, I, I wanted to smoke real tobacco!

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