REAL ANIMAL LOVER

There’s a small personable dog outside the office building. It is on a leash, and the leash is attached to a sandwich board. The small dog is patiently waiting for the return of its human being.

The human being whose "return" is so patiently being awaited is in plain sight, in a long line of other humans at a food truck. The small dog is single-minded, and will not be distracted. It looks in one direction only, barely even sniffing my fingers before once more focusing intently on someone a few yards away.

I pride myself on offering a veritable smorgasbord of smells - do you know where my fingers have been? This is perilously close being rejected. My reek isn't fascinating enough for you?

The small dog, however, is completely uninterested. It just wants to know when its human being will stop standing in line and rejoin it. Everything else is moot.

The small dog is a dachshund puppy.

Dachshunds are very likeable creatures, due to their temperament, character, and intelligence.

Quite unlike chihuahuas, which are nasty little fluffbits suitable only for being dropkicked down California Street. Much like their high-strung dimwit bimbo owners.


CHIWAWAWAWAWA!

I used to wonder why so many decadent money-lenders' playthings owned chihuahuas. What was it that attracted these women of obvious mental deficiency to the runty little obscenities? Why did they so like having an ambulatory crap factory in their handbags? What was it about four-legged cockroaches that so appealed to them?

Well yes, I realized that the complete absence of any intelligence, let alone personality, played a factor..... much like it did with the choices made by men who maintained them......

Sort of like a having a perfectly brainless lump of quivering meat. Decorative, but no interaction actually required.
Not something that appeals to me, but degustibus non disputandem etcetera.

Still. Evenso. Why?

Now I know.

Chihuahua is also a slang term for penis.

Appropriate, no?


I suspect that if someone were to dropkick a chihuahua down California Street, a dachshund would wait expectantly for the decadent money-lender's plaything to be also hefted into the air. Dachshunds know what is proper.