ALL THE HOT SAN FRANCISCO LUCK
But your timing is way off - you were all over the place up until last week, bellyaching about the biting cold and the wind and the fog........
At present, there are almost none of you around.
No offense, but that is pretty much how we like it.
When the weather improves at the end of summer you might see things we would rather you didn't.
Such as bra straps when there is no bra. As passed by while I was outside smoking a moment ago. Honest, I don't know why that woman even wears a bra, no support whatsoever is needed. Nor any uplift. Maybe a touch of lace, but a wispy camisole would accomplish the same. Brassieres are so constricting, don't you agree?
Anyway, I'm glad you didn't see that. We deserve something for living here.
Yesterday evening on the cable car you tourists were marked by your complete absence.
The cabin was almost empty, except for an elderly Chinese gentleman who had picked his granddaughter up from school. Cute kid. She spent considerable time rooting through her backpack rearranging things. As soon as he dozed off (top of the hill, between Pacific Union and Grace), she frantically started rearranging her clothing. The poor little thing was wearing all synthetics, in bright functional colours and textures. In this weather one should only wear cotton - she must have suffered all day. At one point she reached in and scratched fiercely right where I imagine the waist-band of her panty to be.
Sweetheart, I really don't need to imagine where the waist-band of your panty is..... but neither do the German tourists. They're all horrid perverts, and we're glad there aren't any of them around, aren't we?
This morning, on my way to work, I had a splendid view of a young miss dressed for heat. I was standing, and could look down at the people waiting for the bus - it was far too crowded for any of them to get on.
You looked so very very disappointed, my dear - but you also looked like cake, so I'm quite pleased. Sorry.
HOW MIXED ARE THE MESSAGES
Of course, not everything in San Francisco is female.
The strapping fellow on California street last night certainly wasn't. Unfortunately I could see all of his tattoos. I really didn't want to. Why do some men adorn themselves with obscenities? Does it look macho? Is there a frisson of contradictory temptation if a large bosomy goth harpy illustrates your shoulders? Really, do you NEED to have some buxom vampire babe straddling your ripped stomach, rising up from your pubes? And what is the message these sexbabe she-daemon images are supposed to send? Are you confused?
I know I am.
Do you spend way too much time looking at yourself in the mirror?
Dang, those are some muscles. Looks like pythons in a gunny sack.
Slick moist pythons.
If you got it, flaunt it, I guess.
Anyhow, that's just a selection of San Francisco sights which you visitors do not need to see. I'm not sure you could handle the excitement - the visual stimulation, plus the heat, would affect your poor shriveled Northern European brains. There's no telling what it might make you do.
You all are just lucky you're not here.
And so are we.