HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS, NOW MUCH MORE ZESTY!

One of my friends read Friday's post about high school girls and slutty behaviour (HERE) and was creeped out. Totally! Creeped!! Out!!!

She thinks it's quite my most perverted post yet, and worries about my sanity.
Can I be trusted around children? Probably not.


Well... Dos iz super uber affen geil. Doch. Meeeeeeenshh!!


Even though the point of the post was that behaving like a well-brought-up young lady could lead to being treated like a well-brought-up young lady - in other words, like an adult, or like someone worthy of respect and consideration - apparently my focus on HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS was disturbing.


YOU TOO

So, for all of you college grads, illiterate drunks, and senescent old trailer park reptiles, if you lot ALSO act like well-brought-up young ladies, there is a very good chance that you too will be treated as such.
No questions asked.
Not by me.


CHOICE BEVERAGES FOR YOUNG PERSONS

In the meantime, here are several recipes for froofy drinks at the illegal drinking hole I intend to open across the street from Lowell High School, in order to attract the ever-so-cute brainiacs who study there.
Winsome bespectacled academic damsels!
Charming and so stimulating. Oooooh!
Short, sweet, with sparkling eyes.
They NEED cocktails!

Come here, little miss, would you like a drinkie?


1.
PINK PERFECTION
3 oz gin.
2 oz Apricot Brandy.
2 oz lemon juice.
Two large dashes of grenadine.
Shake over ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

2.
RUBY BLAZE
1 oz Vodka.
1 oz Cherry Brandy.
1 oz Noilly Pratt.
Small dash lime juice.
Small dash orange juice.
3 drops Angostura.
Shake over ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
Add sliced lime and orange on the rim.

3.
GREEN EYES
3 oz Vodka.
2 oz Blue Curacao.
4 oz Orange juice.
1 oz Lime cordial.
Put rocks in a pint glass. Pour in, in order given.
Garnish with an orange slice.

4.
BLUE FIZZ
1 oz Blue Curacao.
Pour into a champagne flute, top up with iced champagne.

5.
APRICOT SOUR
2 oz Apricot Brandy.
1 oz Lime juice.
Half oz Orange juice.
Half oz simple syrup.
Shake with ice, strain into a cocktail glass.
Add a cherry and a lemon peel.

6.
COPPER CAMEL1 oz Bailey's Irish cream.
1 oz butterscotch schnapps.
Put ice in a lowball glass ('Old Fashioned Glass'), then pour in Baileys and schnapps in order given.

7.
THE HENRY DARGER
2 oz Bourbon.
Heavy dash grenadine.
Three drops Angostura.
Over ice in a highball glass. Top with ginger ale.
Add a cherry, a bendy straw, and an umbrella.

8.
FLUFFY DOGOne ounce Cointreau orange liqueur.
One ounce Bailey's Irish cream.
Shake over ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

9.
RUM FLUFF
Two ounces rum.
Two ounces orange juice.
One ounce crème de cassis.
Dash of grenadine.
Shake over ice and strain into a lowball glass. Garnish with a slice of lemon.

10.
MARBLE CAKE SHOT
1 oz each: vodka, crème de vanilla and crème de cacao.
Shake over ice and pour. Garnish with chocolate shavings.

11.
PINK LADY
1 oz shot gin.
Half oz grenadine.
2 oz cream.
Shake over ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
Garnish with a cherry.

12.
GRASSHOPPER
1 oz green crème de menthe.
1 oz crème de cacao (clear preferred).
1 oz heavy cream.
Shake over ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

13.
WHITE COTTON PANTIES
1 oz butterscotch schnapps.
1 oz vanilla vodka.
Shake over ice, pour into a cocktail glass, and garnish with a cherry.

All long drinks will be served with Sanrio swizzle sticks.



THE HAPPY KITTENS LOUNGE

A clean well lighted place for doing your algebra and trigonometry homework.
Comfy chairs and divans for reclining. Big pillows.
Soft classical music.

No boys allowed.

Just knock on the door, and tell them 'Bad Batz Maru' sent you.
Welcome.
There's a heated smoking patio, with heavy glass ashtrays, and a selection of cigarillos.
The spacious powder room has lavender soap, complimentary lotions, and perfume samples.
Chewing gum and strong coffee available at the bar, for when you need to go home.
Refresh yourself.