Tuesday, December 01, 2009

THE GREAT HEALTHCARE DEBATE

Spent most of the morning in a company-wide meeting about our employee insurance plan.
There was deeply thrilling in-depth discussion of options, deductibles, copays, old age, prenatal care, assisted living, dependant care, premature senility, family coverage, arthritic knees, childhood disease, massive gastric failure, dental coverage, hair loss, osteoporotic degredation, and oedematic swelling.......

Basically, a lot of existential bullcrap about getting old.

Angst, and stuff.

At least, that's what I got out of it.


One of the salespeople, on speakerphone conference call, shivered his timbers about which options were best for him and his family. He has four kids, all of whom have been in the emergency room numerous times in the last year, he can guarantee that they'll be there again in the coming year. It's kinda a regular thing, seeing as they're all healthy kids.

Due, probably, to hereditary rambunction. Or ADD. Just guessing.

His concern was that the copays will prove onerous.

He worried at great and repetitive length. For thirty long and repetitive minutes. Repeatedly, and in detail. Despite the proffered explanations, he still had questions - many of them remarkably identical to previous questions. About children's accidents, emergency room visits, and such like. And copayment thereof, specifically.


It was.... a bit repetitive.


Dude! Children's valium is covered!
Get those brats properly drugged, and they'll be far less accident prone. Better living through medication is not just a phrase, it's a life-style choice THAT SAVES YOU MONEY!

Necessary restraint devices are also fully refundable.
Under preventative medicine.
Gotta keep those little organ donors healthy till adulthood.

12 comments:

e-kvetcher said...

You must learn to withdraw inside yourself during those meetings.

Perhaps try to play chess in your head. That used to work for political prisoners in the GULAG...

NonymousG said...

Children will inevitably hurt themselves, it's a fact of life, much like how toddlers eat dirt!

lexicologically amphibious said...

What's wrong with the word "preventive"?

The back of the hill said...

What's wrong with the word "preventive"?

Last I heard he was depressed and drinking too much. Hence his (prolonged) absence.

Tzipporah said...

We're dealing with similar BS here, except Bad Cohen and I are the ones with all the questions, what with his health problems.

(For the todder, we basically use neosporin and bandaids. If it doesn't close up on its own in 2 days, THEN we go to duct tape.)


In small company health plans, somebody ALWAYS gets screwed. Unfortunately, it's usually the really sick folks, and those supporting them.

The back of the hill said...

Duct Tape? Duct Tape?!!?!!

Shimon the Righteous said "The world together on three things: Neosporin, Bandaids, and Duct Tape."
But Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel would say: "The world holds together on three things: On Rubber Bands, on Binder Clips, and on Duct Tape."

The back of the hill said...

Perhaps try to play chess in your head.

That no longer works. I was never as good as my late brother, who could play several games simultaneously blindfolded, but I became too good for it to be pre-occupying enough.

Nowadays I play counting games: number of female spectacle wearers times people with facial hair divided by black-shoe wearers.....
Ratio of people who joined the company before the move five years ago versus staff who joined since then and have replaced at least two previous staff......
Ranking of grey hairs among the people in the room who are younger than me compared to number without excess body fat who are older than me.......

Oh look, those shoes are really nice! They show of the pleasing plumpness and curves of her feet, and those four soft cleavages between the toes......

Now let's see who has the most nostril hair visible in profile view.......

Spiros said...

I didn't have you figured for a foot fetishist.

The back of the hill said...

a foot fetishist.

I'm not. It's an aesthetic thing.

Feet. Hands. Necks. Cheeks. Waists. Mammary glands (of a discrete size, ergo not those huge whomping pontoons that Payboy and Plenthouse always show). Navels. Abdomens. Glutei maximi. The mons veneris. Fine arms. Ears. Eyes. Eyebrows (ah, the moth-antenna-like eyebrows of innocent Asian teens!). Foreheads. Collarbones. Shoulders. Torsos. Thighs. Dimpled knees. The backs of dimpled knees. Ankles. Etcetera.

I'm an everything fetishist.

The back of the hill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The back of the hill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The back of the hill said...

Hues. Textures. Skin surfaces. Fingertips. Cup-like palms. Nice arches. Fine hair, head or elsewhere. Nicely shaped ears, with semi-translucent areas when when the light is right. The back of a woman's neck. Noses. Wrists. The well-turned elbow. The ghost of a smile. A blush. A mouth that reflects stubbornness and spirit.

The form recumbent, or the face asleep.

Lips!

Heck, read the Song of Songs, which is Solomon's for the poetry of physical attributes.

It's a keen appreciation of female anatomy, not necessarily of a sexual nature.

That would be a considerably narrower range of personal fetishisms.

Which we need not go into.

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