Tuesday, December 15, 2009

KATHERINE M. FUCHS HUMPS A CAMEL?

That, probably, is the best thing that's ever happened to her - if indeed she made a face-to-face connection. If. Only if.
Camels, so we have been informed by several gentlemen named Abdoul, are zesty sexual partners.
An acquaintance named Pierre grudgingly admitted that he discovered the same thing, before being told that the beast was there in case he needed to ride into town.


But what about Katherine M. Fuchs? Is she in any way good for the camel? It HAS to be mutually rewarding, with natural progressions and conclusions to the hump.
Explosively, is it good for the camel?
Alas, we shall never know.
Camels cannot speak.

At this point, you may well be asking yourself what on earth has come over me, and why am I speculating about the perverse and possibly vile sex-life of a person named Katherine M. Fuchs, about which I probably know nothing.

Simple.

I read about it on a blog.


http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/2009/12/caterpillar-and-motorola-stock-which.html
QUOTE: "Hi Katherine, if you're reading this, go hump a camel. People like you are the poisonous dregs in American society, and the sooner you die (or get arrested for treason) the better. "
[DEATH BY NOODLES: http://deathbynoodles.blogspot.com/ ]


In short, fellow San Franciscan Snooky Wong got an e-mail from the 'US Campaign to end the Occupation' (that being Ms. Fuchs and her cohorts) advising that all the Israel haters should buy stock in Motorola and Caterpillar so that they can vote against doing business with Israel at the next shareholders' meeting.

Ms. Fuchs advised to keep this plan secret for now, because she doesn't want Motorola or Caterpillar to stymie her effort at subterfuge.


QUOTE:
"Our purchasing of -- stock should be kept quite for now."



Unfortunately for Katherine M. Fuchs, the recipient of that e-mail was a bad, bad, BAD! little Chinese girl. Quite the wrong person to whom to send such an anti-Israel missive.
Naughty miss Wong promptly spilled the beans and concluded by advising Katherine M. Fuchs to "go hump a camel".

I am fairly certain that that is the MOST exciting thing anyone had ever suggested to Ms. Fuchs. If she has not done so yet, she should undoubtedly consider the proposition.

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PLEASE NOTE: The author of this blog is NOT an advocate of bestiality. Suggestions that Katherine M. Fuchs might actually be into that, or should even consider going that way, are meant surreally, and we do NOT want to know about the mechanics of camel-humping (that being the purview of several gentlemen named Abdoul and at least one Frenchman), nor do we wish to see any photos of the attempt.
Any and all suggestions that Katherine Fuchs is sexually active are purely speculative.

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: "Humping a Camel" may be a code phrase for smoking a cigarette (commonly done after congress). If so, we would advise normal people against it. Being, as our regular readers know, a pipesmoker.
Katherine M.Fuchs (National Organizer, US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation) can take it either way.

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ADDENDUM: THE LETTER FROM KATHERINE M. FUCHS

Hello all, If you were at our annual Organizers' Conference last September, you already know that we're asking supporters of the Stop Caterkiller campaign to each purchase one share of Caterpillar stock before the end of the year. While it may seem odd for a group pushing for divestment to encourage purchasing Caterpillar stock, there is a method to our madness. The real point of shareholder divestment is to pressure the corporation to divest of it's activities in the area of concern. With this in mind, once you become a Caterpillar shareholder you can 1) vote in favor of our resolution at the shareholder meeting and 2) support our protest activities inside the meeting by either attending yourself or designating a proxy. The reason we would like more turnout from our supporters at the shareholder meeting is that this has been the area where we've had the most success garnering media attention. The annual shareholder meeting is Caterpillar's day in the media's sun and if we can turn the attention from Cat's finances to their activities in Israel/Palestine it is a win for our campaign. Three important things to keep in mind as you purchase stock and encourage friends to do the same:
Our purchasing of Cat stock should be kept quite for now. If Caterpillar learns of this strategy they may change the rules of the meeting to require more than one share for entry. Time is of the essence. The cut-off date for shareholders receiving invitations to the meeting is fast approaching; I believe that this cut-off date is the end of the calendar year, so act now! Let us know when you've confirmed your stock purchase so we can be in contact with you about shareholder meeting plans. You can email me at organizer[at]endtheoccupation[dot]org or call our office at 202-332-0994. Please use the following instructions to purchase your share of Caterpillar Corporation: You can purchase one share of Caterpillar stock for approximately $58.00. You can purchase one share of Motorola stock for approximately $9.00. 1. Go to
www.zecco.com and sign up for a free membership. 2. After you complete all the information to set up your account, you will need to wait for an email that indicates that your account has been approved. 3. Follow the instructions included in the approval email to complete the account set up. 4. Once your account is set up, login to Zecco and then click on the "trading" tab. Please note that you will have a username and password for your Zecco account, as well as a trading key to access your trading account. 5. Once you’ve signed into the Trading Center, check the current asking price of the stock you wish to purchase using the Caterpillar symbol (CAT) and/or Motorola symbol (MOT). 6. Next you will need to set up a trading account, which is separate from the Zecco account. Click on "Funding and Transfers" on the left hand side of the page and then click on "Open an Account". Fill out all the required information and select the way in which you would like to fund your account. The easiest way is by electronic transfer link (ACH) from your bank account. 7. Once you have completed the application, you will receive an email to confirm that you application is being processed. The email will give you instructs to follow to complete the association between your bank account and your trading account. 8. When your account is approved, go back to the Trading Center and check the current asking price for the CAT and/or MOT stock. 9. Click on the "Funding and Transfers" tab in the Trading Center and then click on the "Deposit to Zecco Trading" tab. On this page you should see a drop down menu that shows your bank account. When you fill out the amount field to transfer money from your bank account to your Zecco account, you will need to add a few extra dollars to ensure that you have enough buying power to purchase the stock. Please note that there is a $4.50 transaction fee to process the transaction. If you do not transfer enough the first time, you will need to deposit additional funds. Each time you transfer money to Zecco there is a waiting period of a few days to complete the transaction. For example, if the cost of the stock is $9.00, you may wish to deposit $15.00 to be safe. 10. When the money has been successfully transferred to your Zecco account, go into the Trading Center and fill out the information to purchase the stock. Once you have completed this information and send the order, the transaction should be complete within a few hours. 11. You should receive confirmation of your transaction by mail within about a week of your purchase. Thank you so much for supporting this project! Even if you can't attend the shareholder meeting in Chicago next June your ownership of Cat stock will enable you to designate a proxy (we will put you in touch with a Stop Caterkiller activist in the Chicago area if you request) to participate in our "inside strategy" at the shareholder meeting.

Peace & Power, Katherine M. Fuchs
National Organizer US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation

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12 comments:

For Fuch's sake! said...

Katherine Fuchs: Ending Israeli Occupation
By Adam Waxman, August 26, 2009

http://www.wiretapmag.org/stories/44458/

The last strategy that we focus on is boycott and divestment. We adopted this strategy after the 2005 Palestinian Unified Call for Boycott Divestment and Sanctions (BDS). The Palestinian Unified call was inspired by the international BDS campaigns during the 1970s and '80s that functioned in solidarity with anti-apartheid activists in South Africa.

Smooth Waxed Man said...

Adam Waxman is a Publishing Fellow at The American Prospect in Washington, D.C. His work has appeared in print and online, including AlterNet and The Nation online. Contact him at adam DOT waxman AT gmail.com.

Clearly also one of those people.

Fuchs alive! said...

More clichés and tired tropes here:

http://www.endtheoccupation.org/article.php?id=2324

Quote: Spending the past two weeks with Palestinians and Israelis struggling for freedom from occupation and apartheid, it became quite clear that the role of peacemakers in the U.S. is to pressure Israel through ending U.S. military aid and withholding economic support for corporations profiting from occupation and apartheid.

Yes, undermining the only reasonably democratic state in the middle east is surely the way to liberate people.

How about Hamas, ms. Fuchs? How about Hezbollah? How are you going to address the massive those two organizations get from various tyrannies?

Or do you hew to a double standard?

Of course you do.

Anonymous said...

And Fuch You, too.

Ari said...

Quite.

The back of the hill said...

My dear Anonymous,

To whom are you making that kind offer? Me or the pseudonymous commenter(s) who preceded you?

I am, of course, rather monogamous.

Evenso, you have perked my ineterest. What are you wearing right now?

Anonymous said...

Are you a camel?

Abdoul said...

Permit me to ask if you are a camel.

Or any other kind of ungulate?

The back of the hill said...

Mmmmmmmmmmm, camel........

Anonymous said...

In the Middle East,do people think that the cigarette commercial that says "I'd walk a mile for a camel" is some sort of expression of a desire for an episode of bestiality or is that only American "anti-zionists"?

Anonymous said...

I wonder if camel tastes anything like goat. Would it be good in a curry?

Der Shabbus Goy said...

Camel tastes rather like lamb, albeit lower in fat. Older meat is tougher and gamier, and needs marinating to tenderize it, but what you will mostly find available is young meat. Usually from a store that sells bush meats, and imports from Australia. One of the best ways to prepare it is like an Irish stew. But you can also make kuftit - small meatballs of ground camel with chopped onion, spices, and breadcrumbs.
Grill them skewered or simmer them in stock.

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