Yiftach. Who promised that he would make a burnt offering of the first thing out of his house if he was victorious over the Ammonites. Fetah, imperatively, is yiftach, in my imaginary version of Arabic.
Yiftach - fetah!
That was the thought that stuck in my head during an important conspiracy meeting yesterday. There were seven of us around the table - a librarian, a teacher, a family psychologist, a lawyer, a doctor, an accountant, and myself. The fetah connection did not have anything to do with any of them.
The librarian kept pouring shots from a bottle of strong cough medicine into her tea. But she was indeed very ill (refusheleimuh), and should not have been there. Cough cough.
The librarian recounted, with the lawyer chipping in, about a lecture they had recently attended, that left them shaken - two solid hours of vicious lies. Yes, it was a pro-Palestinian lecture, how did you know?
The family psychologist mentioned administrative staff at length. The lawyer discussed various things. I can't remember what, other than the agreement with the teacher, in nuanced and codicilized detail.
The doctor analyzed a spectrum of situations, spoke clarificatorily, elucidated, and made cogent comments.
The accountant made reference to machers at two shuls, and expanded upon exceptions to other things. He and I had earlier compared kippot - he was wearing a plain dark blue (the only clean one he could find in a hurry, despite owning several hundred), I had with me a brightly festive multi-coloured knit jobby perfectly suited for the Gay Pride parade in summer. Very very happy looking!
Our tastes in pipe-tobacco overlap, in mittn drinnen.
None of this has to do with fetah. There is no connection. Fetah was not even mentioned. It is not part of our conspiracy.
So why fetah?
A kaiser roll, and a tub of what LOOKED like cream cheese.
Deceptively. It just looked like it.
Then someone mentioned the phrase 'yitbach al Yahud'.
Hence the connection. Nevertheless, fetah is a very good thing.
Yiftach al Yahud - fetah for all the Jews!
And after that, we shall contentedly smoke our pipes with Latakia mixtures, while wearing our colourfully extroverted kippot.
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12 comments:
mm, feta...
Bad Cohen was requesting tiramisu yesterday. Too much work.
But now I want some, too.
Atboth,
Gosh golly what an exiting life you lead!
And what on earth is Latakia? Wikipedia goes all berserkotruebeliever, saying: "Latakia tobacco (Arabic: تبغ اللاذقية) is a specially prepared tobacco originally produced in Syria and named after the port city of Latakia. Now the tobacco is mainly produced in Cyprus. It is cured over a stone pine or oak wood fire, which gives it an intense smokey-peppery taste and smell. Too strong for most people's tastes to smoke straight, it is used as a "condiment" or "blender" (a basic tobacco mixed with other tobaccos to create a blend), especially in English, Balkan, and some American Classic blends. McConnell, however, as of 2009, proposes a pure Latakia pipe tobacco."
Smokey peppery? Like a chipotle? This isn't really very clear.
There does seem to be a lot of blithering going on in this post.
I'd rather the Palestinians were involved with feta and humus than with Fattah and Hamas.
R
Noodles, Latakia ia very nice tobacco that smells tarry and like creosote. It adds coolness to the taste, but scant sweetness. It needs resinous Turkish to really shine, and a base of flavorful Virginias.
It does not benefit from Burley, however, and in consequence has been less popular on these shores.
---Grant Patel
And feta is of course merely a mediocre substitute for paneer, a much superior product, heaven in a chili-cheese-kulcha, or as zesty lumps in palak.
---Grant Patel
If the Jews desire feta, they should by all means have it.
Bon gusto.
---Grant Patel
Hummus, meh. Prefer bhaingan bharta. Avec les chiles piquantes, et cumine.
---Grant Pepperpotty
Grant,
So Latakia is like incense in a way. It sounds like smells create an emotional response, in addition to affecting the flavors.
Resinous, creosote-like, smoky, and then the terms plummy, raisiny, and wine-like in other tobacco posts.
All fit to be put in pudding, if you ask me.
Creosote pudding?
A bit of cheese?
---Grant Esurient
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