The one redeeming feature of the Trinitarian Festival of Greed™ (T-fog, or Yule in your language) is the surfeit of chocolate. Normally our salesreps send us giftbaskets filled with crackers, nuclear-winter cheese, strange confections, and chocolate. Business friends gift us similarly, as do contacts, clients, customers, and service providers. Baskets, baskets, baskets.
So that means lots of crackers, nuclear-winter cheese, confectionery, and chocolate.
This year's nuclear-winter cheese was actually very interesting. It wasn't the usual nuke-o-tronic Cheddar, coloured hell-orange, and oily-spreadable, that we have received in years past. Instead, something calling itself 'Brie-Product'. From absolutely nowhere near France.
Yes, it had the same caulky texture, and I suspect the surplus that did not get giftbasketed this year will end up weather-proofing houses in Wisconsin. But it was much milder than the electric orange chemi-goo.
Not bad.
I suspect that this is due to the price of oil. They probably had to find a substitute ingredient. Conceivably one based on an edible member of the animal kingdom.
Change is good.
Once the S&M cheese was gone, we moved on to the chocolate-covered raisins and other fruits. I've never understood the concept of chocolate-coating fruit, because it takes mediocre fruits and industrial chocolate that wasn't good enough to stand on its own, and combines them into little chewy fart-pellets that leave sticky shreds between your teeth. Somehow that doesn't seem like a good idea. This year we were overloaded with the chocolate-covered raisins and other fruits. Boruch Hashem for ventilation.
After the downpour of chocolate covered mouse-droppings, we got cakes and bakery products.
Yes, fruitcake.
And cheese-straws.
I now know what some of the surplus Brie-product was used for.
Wisconsin, please find something else to do, you are killing us.
The jar of stone-ground mustard is just baffling. What was the intended purpose? For the cakes? For the cheese-straws? For the chocolate-covered fruits?
And why did every single gift-basket have such a jar?
I'm beginning to think that Savage Kitten is right:
White People Are Goofy!
She's getting chocolate today.
No fruits.
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3 comments:
Any specific way to fill a pipe with crumble cake? (I'm askin cos I never smoked one. I had two tins I got cos they looked good, I didn't even bother to check what's inside, I just liked the tins -I do this from time to time- but now I opened them. Anyway, they're crumble cakes, and I fear those small shavinds might fly up the pipe or clog it. Anything special to do??????????????????)
Nothing special - just pack the bottom very lightly, using the larger fragments. Because crumble cake is actually denser than unpressed tobacco, it may seem like you're using less, but that is deceptive.
In any case, do not pack as tightly. If the cake is too dry, rehumidfy it for a few days.
And smoke slow - remember that it is denser.
Lemon curry?
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