Rather than a long disquisition about the technicalities of a disquieting subject, a brief excursus into left field.
Savage Kitten woke up yesterday morning feeling out of sorts. Savage Kitten needed Ibuprofen. And had run out. And was too crampy to walk to Walgreens. And announced her intention to spend all day in bed belly-aching about an angry porcupine with high heels, beads, and granny glasses who was stomping around her insides doing the rumba.
She slept fitfully during most of the day instead.
So, rather than joining some friends snarking an Edomite cultural manifestation elsewhere in the city, I stayed home. I did not see the porcupine, and have no evidence that an angry dancing porcupine with beads, granny glasses, and high heels, actually even exists, but I will take it on faith that yes she does indeed visit every month.
Ibuprofen is a miracle drug.
By evening Savage Kitten had recovered enough to partake of some curried lamb haunch.
What I missed out on at the Edomite cultural thing was Ahmed calling someone a nazi. Ahmed subsequently calling the cops, who came by and noted that Ahmed was losing his marbles. Ahmed calling the same someone a colonialist racist. The cops tisk-tisking and leaving. Ahmed accusing someone of stealing his falafel. Ahmed taking offense at kippot. Ahmed being chided for his dietary habits. Ahmed invectivicating about the war. Ahmed stuttering. Ahmed hearing voices. Ahmed blinking obsessively while his eyes rolled back. Ahmed distributing literature calling major politicians zionazi stooges and demon spawn. Ahmed marxistically praising Ahmedinejad and Hugo Chavez, both of whom are saints and prophets by Allah! Ahmed demanding that Jinns and Jews leave the park, and take their evil wires with them! Ahmed having a worthwhile and heartfelt exchange of opinions with Borat (Borat being the catch-all term for less-than-coherent members of our side). Ahmed chanting for Ralph Nader and Cindy Sheehan, and Ahmed then hearing the space-ships coming to carry him home.
It sounds like fun. I would've liked to have been there. But sometimes nidah-zivah-zavah take precedence.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
MAY GET DIZZY, DON'T GET PREGNANT
After picking up my refills I mentally calculated how often I've been to that pharmacy. More times than my years of age. Which is not su...
12 comments:
....and a lovely time had by all, ...except Achmed.
R
Poor Achmed. He didn't enjoy his own leetle cultural thingy. Als, ppor Achmed. My scrote itches on his behalf.
---Grant Patel
Hi at the back of the hill
My name is Assaf and I'm a video director from the holy land.
We've (me&wife) just finished making a viral movie for Jerusalem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaEdSp8ikY
Hope you'll find our small movie funny and u'll put it in your blog.
Thanks,
And Shalom
Assaf
Tel Aviv
Israel
http://www.nanook.co.il
p.s- sorry coudn't ger your email.
Cindy Sheehan needs a broken beer bottle up her you know what.
I might be missing something here, but what was stopping YOU from going to Walgreen's for some ibuprofin?
I did go to wlagreens. I thought that was implied. It was on sale too. Less pain for less money. A metsiyeh.
I guess I did miss something. Apologies.
Nanook. Fun little video. I'll place it in a post at some point within the next week or so.
The video was fun. And there is no refund on miracles.
---Grant Patel
What's all this about Dovbear's book then?
Have you read it yet? Is there a plot?
Well, there's always a plot, of course, but not that kind of plot. A smaller plot, more middle distance, and set up a bit from the other plot. Not somuch a Zionist plot as an Arthurian plot.
Ni.
---Grant Patel
Does the plot involve beds and porridge, because if it does, I think I already know the story.
Mmmmm, Goldilocks smeared with warm smooth porridge, and honey, mmmmm!
Bed all rumpled. Sticky. Warm weekend morning.......
Hellooooo, Lev, are you listening?
---Grant Patel
Post a Comment