NATIONAL ANTHEM, EN ESPANYOL

I guess it was insanely optimistic to plan for a burrito today.

The taqueria were I usually go had a sign in the window apologizing for the inconvenience.

Why did I think they would be open?

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Anyhow, the anthem.

Apparently many radio commentators and opinionists have bloviated outrage over the translation of our national anthem into Spanish.

Y'all might want to chill out, you poxy cretins.

Spanish has been spoken on this continent quite as long as English, and is just as American. Look at the map before you disagree. Our place-names, for large parts of the country, are in Spanish. I live in San Francisco, not Saint Francis town. The capitol of my state is Sacramento, not 'The Sacraments'. Those majestic mountains are the Sierras, not the 'Saws'.

And as a Dutch-speaking descendant of Dutchmen who were in New Amsterdam before the English seized the place, I am not particularly pleased with you lot. We were doing fine exploiting the natives, shooting up the local wildlife, and picking quarrels with the French further up the coast untill y'all stuck your big Anglo-Saxon noses into our affairs.

I guess I'll have to tolerate you - Lord knows I have no choice. You're here, and there are far too many of you to reverse the trend.

However, if you insist that the national anthem only be sung in English, I expect you'll have no objection to reading the Bible in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek (I'm including that weird crap you insist on calling the new testament in the definition 'Bible').


If the subtle meaning of the anthem is lost by translation, how much more so the import of scripture?

If any of the noble sentiments are lessened by translation, then that much more for sacred writing.

If any sense of group identity is offended by a translated song, surely it is heresy to even consider reading holy writ in anything other than the original sacred languages.


Well, what about it?

For a nominal fee, I am willing to teach some of you how to read it in Hebrew.

I even promise that I'll stay at least one chapter ahead of you in the textbook (my Hebrew is not that good, but it is far, far better than most of you lot can manage).

For Aramaic and Greek, you are entirely on you own, though.


And count your lucky stars - you won't need to learn Dutch. Despite our having been here longer than most of you, we'd rather not have you butchering our language. We've seen what you did to English.