[Here's the article: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3248854,00.html and here's Dovbear's post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/05/what-unbelievable-waste-of-money.html ]
This is because the mere sight of a woman can send a tzaddik into fits of pritzusdikkeite passion. The poor dear has no self control, you see, and appreciates the beauty of ALL of Hashem's creations.
Even El Al Stewardesses.
And even though he's ninety years old.
[A ninety year old having untzniusdikke gedachten? Kol Ha Kavod!!!! The only ninety year old I know drools into his beard and dribbles his prunes and chummus onto his bekeshe when his head wobbles! I am full of admiration for a ninety year old who still has aza lead in his pencil. A tzaddik like that I should be when I'm his age! Mamesh!]
SO, IN ADMIRATION OF THESE TWO ZESTY REBBEIM, AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF A MAJOR TRAVEL PROBLEM FOR FRUMMERLEITE, THIS BLOG ANNOUNCES THE FIRST EVER HOT EL AL MAMA CONTEST!
[Both as a warning, and as a joy to behold]
Please nominate your choice for hottest El Al Stewardess, and explain in an essay of one hundred descriptive words or more why you think she is the candidate most likely to disturb a Chassidic rebbe's spiritual equilibrium.
Accounts of flights to the Holy Land spent in an agony of frustration are also welcome. As are tales of being unspiritual while waiting in line to board ("ooh, those shapely ankles, that tempting sheitel, I cannot take it anymore, ooooh!").
[The winning entry will be decided by me, based on my totally fair and balanced judgement. Providing links to photos is not necessary, this is a clean blog after all, but is greatly encouraged nevertheless. The winner gets to guest-post five times, the second runner up three times, and the third prize is one guest post. There will be no cash prizes, nor any pay-outs in lieu of posting - I'm a monumental cheapskate (I'm Dutch, remember?). Multiple entries per contestant are allowed, plagiarism is not a problem in the comments - it's your lookout.]
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NOTE:
Shir HaShirim is all about looking at women (yes, I know, a metaphor for the relationship between Israel and Hashem, but face it, that explanation merely says that you're all his bitch. So back to the pshuta, please).
A rebbe cannot wear sun-glasses? A rebbe cannot divert his eyes and his mind from a shapely ankle? A rebbe might turn into a beast if distracted by a passing snooky?
What kind of a rebbe is this?!?!?!?!?
[How on earth would these prudes have coped with the women of the Tanach? Sarah Imaeinu was a hotty, Rivka was a hotty....., and Delilah...... ?, Oy, Baruch Hashem! And Esther too! Woof! Bark, bark, bark! Woof! ]
Depose the bulgar, and get a rebbe who at least has a modicum of self-control and common sense.
Sheesh. Buncha puritanical protestants.
And that from such an illustrious yichus.
11 comments:
I thought the contest was only open to ELAL "First Class" stewardesses....
Besdies, how can we nominate them if we're not allowed to look at them?
Nominate them by descriptive passages. Quote from the Shir Ha Shirim - it's full of zest!
And regarding first class versus other stewardesses: All stewardesses! We are not snobs. Rather, we are omnivorous.
After having flown on El Al ever since 1966, and without trying to be too nasty, in my opinion, this is a non-starter of a contest. There are too few females worthy of our attention.
"THE MERE SIGHT OF A WOMEN"
YOU SICK BASTARD!
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF CREEP?
REMOVE THIS POST OR ELSE.
REMOVE THIS POST OR ELSE.
Or else?
Tayere Anonymoron, to help you find me and do the or else, here are some clues:
1. I am big and black.
2. I have a large beerbelly.
3. I work in a body-shop off San Pablo Avenue in Richmond.
4. I have a bloodhsot eye.
5. I wear panites and a bra,
6. I wish I was a girlie, just like my deeear papa!
7. Oh I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...
Now try to find me.
Dunce.
I was one on an El Al flight when one of the flight attendents came over to ask if i would mind switching seats with a woman with a baby — and then we realized me and the flight attendent had been classmates in grad school!
Oh yeah, then she began spoiling me rotten.
LOLOLOLOL you're awesome BOTH.
I'll have your babies. I'm no El Al Hottie, though.
Ah yes, El Al First calls flight attendants and their proverbial charm:
- "Eh, you like dinnerr, serr?"
- "Uh, lemme see... What are the choices?"
- "Ken o lo."
(Sorry, should be First Class, not First calls.)
..choices?"
- "Ken o lo."
LOL!
A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?"
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, well she doesn't work for Delta.
A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"
This time the woman barked back at him "Man, what do you want from my life?" The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "ahhh . . . El - Al"
Those of you who fly el-al will be able to appreciate this more...........
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