AN INAPPROPRIATE TIME FOR BEER AND MAYO

A reader recently remarked that he wished to have a pikanto early in the morning, with mayonnaise. And, after doing the research, that does indeed sound like heaven. What the Dutch call a 'pikanto' is a forcemeat rod assertively spiced, precooked, then dumped in the deepfryer.

[The spices are approximately four parts ground pepper, two parts cumin, two parts coriander, two parts cayenne, and one part nutmeg or mace. A total of slightly less than two teaspoons per quarter pound of meat. Plus salt, chilipaste (sambal ulek), and chopped red chilies.]

It's basically a Pathan kebab for the fryolator.

The mayonnaise should be seen as a culturally appropriate equivalent of yoghurt dip, or sourcream if you are Russian. If you are American, you would probably feel that salad alongside is a good idea.
But if you are Dutch you will insist on fries.
With a glob of yellow stuf.


IT IS UNAVAILABLE IN SAN FRANCISCO!


Alas. My breakfast will be necessarily somewhat boring. Please do not suggest 'dick on a stick' (a corn dog), because that is only appealing after an inadvisable number of alcoholic beverages OR if you have the ghastly misfortune of being a Texan on a hot day at the State Fair surrounded by large people, piles of steer sh*t, and Lone Star Beer.

I think I might head out for some pork siumai (豬肉燒賣 'chyu yiuk siu mai') and fresh shrimp in rice sheet noodle (鮮蝦腸粉 'sin haa cheung fan') in Chinatown before noontime. They don't have mayonnaise at eateries which serve that -- they would be appalled and probably more than a little nauseated by the concept -- but most of them do have a fiery condiment; either sambal ulek, or Sriracha sauce. Both from Huy Fong Foods in Los Angeles. Pork siumai benefit from a wee drop of soy sauce and a dab of hot. You can tell it's pork by the yellow dot on top (salt egg yolk).


Breakfast should NEVER include beer. I had to explain that to a cigar smoker in Marin yesterday. No, he did not hail from Texas.

Civilized people resort to beer late in the evening.
But only if all the red wine is gone.




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