Wednesday, December 05, 2007



Sometimes you're bored.
So you do things.
Like filling in an e-harmony profile questionaire as Borat.

[This Borat: ]

The results were surprising. Borat is actually pretty decent chap - despite his past history as a brutal gypsy-catcher.
The following are phrases lifted at near-random from Borat Sagdiyev's eharmony Personality Profile:

"You devote adequate time to taking care of your own needs and wants, in part because it makes you happy with your life and in part because that's what you truly believe every person should do.

Like someone who can sleep comfortably on either side of the bed, you are equally at home with ideas and beliefs that you have held for a long time and with new ways of thinking and believing that grow out of your intellectual curiosity.

Your sense of who you are and what your place is in the world around you rests on values and principles that are the solid ground you walk upon. You've tested them, they work for you, and much of the time you are content to trust them.

Not everyone will be thrilled by your flexible, middle-of-the-road ways of thinking and believing.

When others cannot think straight you remain unflappable and clear-headed.

The truth is that your work style gets things done, often with more beauty, fun, creativity and imagination than others could ever manage.

You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends.

Most people will truly appreciate your flexibility in social situations. They will like you for your amiable warmth and your willingness to engage, and for your ability to sit back and let others take the lead or the spotlight.

Because you are sometimes outgoing and sometimes reserved, you will make most people comfortable in your presence, and they will truly enjoy your company."

All of the above was based on a character with an obsessive interest in sex ("very nice...!"), anooses ("very nice...!!"), disgusting potty humour ("very nice...!!!"), extreme personal vanity ("very nice...!!!!"), and a level of male-chauvenism that dwarfs everything around him, including the tiny chrams of all other men ("very nice...?").

Plus selfishness, stubborness, total disregard for the emotional welfare of the other person or animal in the relationship, and all the usual shallownesses that men standardly deny.

According to his personality profile, that's actually what every man wants to be.
I wonder if that means something?



Spiros said...

"Like someone who can sleep comfortably on either side of the bed"? Is that some sort of veiled euphemism? I,to be truly comfortable. I, for one, need to sleep on top of the mattress in order to be truly comfortable.

Anonymous said...

Mmm. mattressesssss.....

Anonymous said...

Crispy crunchy mattresses.

Anonymous said...

An Indian dish: Mattar ka Mattras.

Delish, with borage.

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