Showing posts sorted by relevance for query tashlich. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query tashlich. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, March 24, 2022

THINKING AHEAD: PASSOVER

Pre-emptively cover everything in your kitchen (and bathroom, to be on the safe side) with aluminum foil (two layers; Rashi AND Rabbeinu Tam) now. If your tablecloths are shatnez, then them too.

And, because of the forty year picnic in the midbar yadda yadda yadda, paper plates are a zeicher l'avos.(*)

Fancy paper plates. They have a blue rim.


On the other hand, the Rambam says you're allowed to book a hotel for Pesach over three months in advance. Which if you have in-laws, is a jolly good idea. Don't tell anyone where (it's Miami, always), and pre-write all the "wish you were here" postcards (no melacha on chol ha moed). Give them to the attendant before you arrive for mailing during the week.

And don't sign them; lifnei iver, lo titen michshol.


POSEIK
Ein gaon ha-emmes

(*) Reb Yonasson disagrees. Er sogt: "Moshe Rabbeinu had a full set of his grandmother's China in the wilderness. A. FULL. SET."
But chazal have ruled azoy: Those were chipped, and probably made in Delft, so there is NO chazaka of kashrus. The Dutch, as is well known, were making earthenware, NOT porcelain, at that time. A lower firing temperature, and absorbent besides. Lo somech.

A further stringency is that to be fully kosher, porcelain may not be used for at least twelve months to remove all doubt. From the end of the last chag till the beginning of this one is less, so for all sets of plates you should have duplicates for alternate years, which implies that there was a column of U-hauls stretching from Mitzraim to Har Sinai.

Plus leaving that trail of breadcrumbs so that they could find their way out proved to be a bad idea. This, in mittn drinnen, is also the logic behind tashlich (*).

[Why does one use a feather during bedikas chometz? Because of the birds that ate the trail of breadcrumbs.]


(*) Reb Yonasson again: "nothing explains tashlich. It's like the para adumah. Faith alone buddy." But chazzal disagrees: "farkert! It's like the shrubberies! One slightly higher so you have a two level effect! With a path down the middle."



Note also that your in-laws qualify as your imma v'av melacha. So having either seder by them is assur. Unless they agree to keep silent. Just shut up. It's supposed to be a happy occasion, nu?



Your festive meal must include these three things: a kezayis each of dry hard flatbread, jelly fruit, and coconut macaroon. All of which taste better with chrein. Mamesh.



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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

CHAGGIM: THE ANTI-HEGEMONIST POINT OF VIEW

A member of a San Francisco pro-Israel organization reacts badly to the pro-Palestinian self-hating Jew side, particularly their self-righteous pronunciamentos about the upcoming chag.


SARCASTIC QUOTE:"Dipping apples in honey is SOOOOO white imperialist hegemonist, maybe they should dip tofu in salt water to symbolize the entire third-world (tofu) weeping bitter tears (salt-water) over the cruelty and exploitation by the first world (which would be symbolized by the bland tastelessness of the tofu and salt-water together). How can anybody be happy at a time when poor little furry Palestinian butterflies and whales are crying???!?! That's SOOO heartless!!!
And honey is SUCH a ruling-class fascist running dog luxury, why, the exploited and oppressed masses spit on honey, feh!"



Hee hee hee.

Pursuant thereto, the Bay Area Women in Black will be cursing Jews and Israel again at their scheduled 'community tashlich observance' on Saturday, October 4, 11:00 PM, at the Lake Merritt Pergola.

This from their announcement:
"We gather to discard that which holds us back from our potential as peacemakers -- our fears, isolation and silence, and to renew our commitment to work for peace and justice. We re-dedicate ourselves to standing in solidarity with all those who resist -- and who continue to challenge, dismantle, subvert, re-envision and transform the forces of violence, coercion and inequality in the world."

Please note that their "standing in solidarity with all those who resist" in practice has meant active support of both Hamas and Hezbollah, praise for Ahmedinejad, Sheikh Nasrallah, Chavez, and Castro, and apologesis for the Sudanese in their brutal holy war against non-Arabs.
[Naturally, many of them are also members of various other 'revolutionary' organizations - anything anti-Israel or anti-American is sodden with their nauseating aura. ]

In recent years, the Bay Area Women in Black have stood in proud solidarity with Arab protestors and Berkeleyites outside the consulate screaming "Falastin balad'na wa'l Yahud qalab'na" (Palestine is our land, and the Jews are our dogs), "Khaibar Khaibar ya Yahud, jaish Muhammad saya‘ud" ('Khaybar, Khaybar, oh Jews, the army of Muhammad will come again' - in reference to the battle of Khaybar where the prophet Muhammad resupplied his forces by slaughtering and enslaving former friends and allies at the Oasis of Khaybar).

It cannot be argued that the Women in Black were unaware of the content of those chants - they had not objected in any way when the crowd chanted in English - "with our blood and our souls we will redeem you oh Palestine", or "Palestine will be free from the river to the sea", along with other threats and curses.
In fact, the more violent and bloodthirsty the rhetoric, in English or Arabic, the more Bay Area Women in Black seemed to relish the frisson.


At such events, the Women in Black who come from Berkeley positively bask in the ecstasy of the moment - most especially the elegant and extraordinarily ignorant Italian woman. Her presence in the United States is truly baffling - she would feel so much more at home in a Turin soccer stadium singing Bandera Rosso, or encouraging the local jugend to throw bricks and molotovs. As would be fitting for an intellectually pretentious European America-hater.

If she actually had a brain, she would be dangerous.


Heck, if any of them had brains, they would be dangerous.
Even Kate Bender Raphael.
Whose verbose blog is pathetic yet amusing.

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PS. 1.
The term 'self-hating Jew' is technically a misnomer. These people are not self-hating, they just hate you and every other Jew. They are Jew-hating Jews.

In addition to Kate Raphael Bender (also known as Kate Raphael or Kate Bender Raphael - sometimes using the spelling 'Rafael'), there are several others of that ilk in the activist circles of northern California: Libbey Goldberg, Perry Bellow-Handelman, Kinneret Israel, Sarah Kershnar, Barbara Lubin, Cecilie Surasky, et alia.

Please note that several people are NOT included in this category, as despite their membership in the Bay Area Women in Black, they aren't actually Jewish, being instead counted among the congregations of Saint John's Presbyterian Church (2727 College Avenue, Berkeley), or the Lake Merrit United Methodist Church (1255 1st Avenue, Oakland).
Both of these churches are making a name for themselves in the divestment and boycott movements. Pandering to politically correct hatred wins friends, especially for Christian denominations with declining memberships.
Jew-hatred, of course, is traditional.


PS. 2.This is a post I really enjoyed writing - it allowed me to indulge the latent anti-Semitism within as well as the latent philo-Semitism within. Bucket loads! Yep, I feel so fulfilled! Heck, even my verkrampte Dutch-Calvinist side is gleaming!

To the ladies from Bay Area Women in Black, especially the mono-gender-preferential womyn of the San Francisco chapter, I have say: Thank you, ladies, you've been very good to me, I mentally creamed in my imaginary panties, it was that good! Thank you again - do you feel all warm?

Monday, September 25, 2006

I DID NOT GO

This being San Francisco, it is probably worth-while to mention some of the wonderful things I could have done this past weekend.


1. Attend the Love Parade.
[I think that's what it was called - a hippy tribute to the sixties and the love thing, with Haight-Ashbury types, happy morons, and aged drugheads slowly going down Market Street to Civic Center to listen to dated music. Or something like that (I did not go). ]

2. Go to SF Jazz-Festival.
[The less I say about big themed music festivals, the better. I do not party with thousands of my nearest and dearest - if there are thousands, they certainly aren't my nearest and dearest. Bah humbug (I did not go).]

3. Leather it up gaily at the Folsom Street Fair.
[An annual event involving skintights, hot straps, bare cheeks, studs, studs wearing studs, and big fat men with too little clothing. Spanking and beer. Happy wholesome perversion and good cheer. Male bonding. Not my scene, though (I did not go).]

4. Watch the Pittsburg Steelers on teevee over at Dove's house, and witness his head exploding.
[Need I mention that Dove is a Steeler's fan? And that for him the world pretty much came to an end, turned dark and depressing and filled with angst? Yes, his dreams have been shattered, truly a ghastly turn of events, oh sadness, oh fates (I did not go).]

5. Head to the Embarcadero to dump cake-crumbs into the Bay.
[Something to do with symbollically casting-off the sins of the last year. I would remind you of a quote from Adderabbi a few weeks back about who gets called an idiot, and several sarcastic comments from Dovbear in years past. If Dov says anything snarky about tashlich this year, RenReb has threatened to give him one but good (I did not go).]


So what did I do this weekend?

I acted like a cabbage. Stayed at home for two days smoking a pipe and reading Tanya (that is to say, the Rav. Adin Steinsaltz book which translates and mefarshifies - the Liadite's original lashon is a wee bit beyond me).


Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage. Cabbage.


I did not go anywhere.

It was an excellent weekend.

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