No, I'm not saying act like Middle America and pretend everything is all right. I'm saying act like Coastal America and pretend Middle America doesn't exist.
Let's imagine 'Free Beer Day'. But with Hong Kong Milk Tea instead of beer, because, truth be told, I am not particularly fond of beer, and don't miss it since I cut out any and all booze because it might interact adversely with medications, and I'm actually more of a tea-drinker anyway, which the rest of the country should have been except for that bunch of rum-soaked unwashed Anglo rioters in Boston, after which they smirked self-satisfiedly and congratulated each other, "hah we done showed 'em, Bubba, didn't we just" and scratched their privates.
In a revolutionary fashion. Or something. You ess aye! You ess aye!
Which is why we're in this mess right now.
Which is easier than calling the rest of the world to account for being such a bunch of frightful hosers. They don't listen anyway, and who needs the Europeans when we can bugger things up ourselves perfectly fine? Among countries which, for various reasons, I shall not visit in the next few years, are England, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Norway, and Spain. Snooty racists and vulgarians who have shown that they hate Americans, even if the Yanks in question are quiet and don't call attention to themselves. The Netherlands are iffy, because while both they and the Germans are at times also total blisters they have a lot going for them, don't smell as bad as the others, and have real food.
Which is why in this country the Midwest and the South are out of the question too.
All the worst characteristics of those European countries.
But much louder, with far worse food.
And really horrid beer.
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