THE IMPORTANCE OF PANTS

The chap on the other end of the line said "I'm putting on my pants and coming over!" Which was welcome news. I myself often wear pants, and am somewhat averse to dealing with pantsless people. I live in San Francisco, so pantsless or entirely unclothed are within the realm of possibilities. A few years ago walking home from the bus stop in early evening I was attacked by a naked man, who forcefully knocked me over and sped to the next victim.
I would understandably rather not be attacked, but if the assailant is nude that's just toxic icing on the cake there. Any nudity in my presence, if I'm okay with it, will naturally have preconditions which must be met.

I mean, in principle I am not opposed to nakedness. In practice, however, there are very few people I wish to see naked, and probably even fewer who would desire to see me unclothed. To the best of my knowledge there are none. Unless they're just not telling me. Which is extremely doubtful. I have thought about this.

Ideally both of those groups would have an overlap where there is at least one person. But it's hard to draw a Venn diagram with nothing in it. People I wish to see naked: zero. People who wish to see me naked: zero. People I wish to see naked who also wish to see me naked: zero.

People on the streets of San Francisco who are naked: not quite zero.

Thank you for putting your pants on before coming over.
I appreciate that very immensely.

Without asking I assumed that the pantsless person was calling from his home. Where he was probably dealing with the immense heat we've had for the past several days, by himself. People who live alone can waltz around their quarters bucknaked in a heatwave, the rest of us have to make sure that certain regions are covered. A woman, for instance, would probably do well to have a shirt of some kind on, in addition to something lower. Again, the lighter in weight, the better. Thin opaque cloth. If you're expecting a delivery from Amazon, be prepared. Wear something . At the very least a bedsheet. Amazon delivery people have probably seen lots of bedsheet, as well as lots of glaring nudity.
I'm guessing that they prefer bedsheet.


As just a word of advice: If all you have on are sunglasses, there is a very good chance people will recognize you, even if they have never seen you in the buff before.

Pants. Pants are good.



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