Tuesday, December 30, 2025

TEENAGE HERETIC REBELLION

Over on Facebook someone is expressing happiness because he's smoking black cherry vanilla in his favourite pipe. Now, I know that doesn't mean bupkes to most people, but to a frightful puritanical purist like myself, who sneers at candy flavours added to tobacco, that's downright heathen, almost like rolling in cadaver slime on the wet grass in the ante chamber of hell. Boy, how could you? Didn't your daddy ever tell you to stay away from sailors, loose women, and missionaries? You wild dog you!

Alledgedly the 4th generation 2012 which I enjoy has a subtle topping of pear. A previous iteration did, and it was indeed subtle, but the current version doesn't. It's a very nice Virginia rather like Golden Sliced without the Perique. But once you mention fragrances the rumour continues, even if unsupported by facts.

[It's actually a very pleasant flake with old-school characteristics.]


Among other lapses of judgement he may be a Christian and might have voted for Donald Trump. In addition to using teenage boy body spray. Shan't investigate.

Black cherry vanilla. Ugh, feh, and forsooth.
Heathens, humbuggers, and heretics.


The road to hell is paved with candy cavendish.
Men who smoke such concoctions date women who drink flavoured coffees from Starbucks. Double shots with caramel, hazelnut, vanilla, half low fat frothed milk half almond, and an excessive dusting of nutmeg. Sometimes seasonally pumkin spice.

Their mill-pond is overflowing with discarded mattresses.

One can imagine hobbit-wannabees running around a Dickens Faire with eccentric Danish pipes, reeking of rancid vanillin and coconut body lotion underneath funky period clothing that has not been washed since the original owner died in the last century, using colourful metaphors and turns of phrase they learned in high-school Shakespeare. They have a slouchy Gandalf hat and walking stick. And a book of spells in their Tesla.
Which has too many Grateful Dead bumper stickers.


Call an intervention. Snub, confute, abjure, repudiate!
The world is awash with ruddy perverts, tell you what.


Black cherry vanilla, 你老母!



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TEENAGE HERETIC REBELLION

Over on Facebook someone is expressing happiness because he's smoking black cherry vanilla in his favourite pipe. Now, I know that doesn...