USE FISH

Sometimes it's all a matter of perception. A friend mentions he "had a great dinner at Xxxxxx, a vegan, gluten free, sushi restaurant. Amazing presentations and excellent flavorful food!" Now, being as you know a carniverous beast with juices dripping from my mandibles, that is NOT a statement you would ever hear from me. But my friend experienced it as exceptional, beautiful, and delicious. And enjoyed it in the great company of one other person.

This is not an eatery I shall suggest to my apartment mate. Who is extremely fond of salmon sashimi. I do not want someone screaming at me in Toishanese that we white people are out of our goofy little minds. That it is entirely true is not made any more palatable by unprintable Toishanese punctuationals.

[Unprintable Toishanese punctuationals: a mirror or overlap with the Cantonese Outstanding Five as well as the curses and obscenities which pepper the language. Words everyone knows, and often uses at breaks in the sentence where a comma or an exclamation mark would be appropriate. Yet no one knows them, especially not ladies. Okay?]

Just try to imagine what would happen if one suggested to a Dutchman that vegan herring filets were edible. A death-pounding with a windmill might ensue. Stupid American.


Note: There are vegan restaurants in Amsterdam. I do not know who goes there. Americans and Germans, presumably. And quite likely very large weightlifters named Gunther or Staphorst. I don't know. Don't ask. You might set me off.

IRRELEVANT PICTURE

Now, all of this ties in somehow with a dream involving the discussion of transactional ethics while making fresh Italian pasta in Hong Kong, north east of Ma Liu Suei (馬尿水) on 東平洲 ('tung ping jau'), a house in 沙頭村 ('saa tau chuen').

There is no place in Sha Tau Village where one can purchase aged Parmesan cheese (巴馬乾酪 'paa maa kin lok'). One would have to buy that at a fancy shop in 中環區 (Central District, 'jung waan keui').

The umami whomp is hard to manage when there is no appropriate cheese or meat product available. But one can be creative with fermented seafood products.




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