OBSESSED WITH PORK PIES

It was a long well-written bitch-essay, with a lovely illustration featuring tannic red tea colours, yellow ochre shading into lemon yellow as well as canary yellow, and mango-flesh hued areas. It was vicious and unpleasant, so I'm glad it was only a vivid dream. Inspired, very largely, by a Filippino Chinese gentleman at the pharmacy whose wife was, justifiably, very upset with him. And told him "stop it". "Don't". "Shut up". And "get in the car".

An ancient auntie rolled past in a wheelchair and remarked that he could give people heart attacks with his berserk outbursts, it was very inconsiderate of him. But because she said it in Cantonese he absolutely ignored her. Not his language, and he was fed up with the Cantonese. They were disobedient. And he know that if you shouted and behaved like a white American tourist anywhere in the world, it brought results. One hundred percent.

Yeah okay, sunny Jim, but this is the Chinese Hospital Pharmacy. Not anywhere in the world. Most people here who get what they want get that by being reasonable and courteous, and patience by the way is a virtue. You didn't get what you wanted because in addition to being a Sangley a-hole throwing a tantrum, is because your pharmacy of record is Walgreens at Westgate, your insurance does not cover that medication, and furthermore doesn't have any relationship with this institution, and your paperwork is both incomplete and incorrect. And you don't listen. Common problem for people like you.

In fact, almost everybody (99.9999%) will leave here happy that they got what they wanted, in a comparatively short period of time, expeditiously and efficiently. And, given the reasons for them being here in the first place -- not being in the absolute peak of health and youthful spryity -- that is absolutely amazing. If this place was staffed by my people (Netherlanders), security would have been called on you so fast and a sedative administered pdq. Or a cattleprod. Pepperspray. They really need pepperspray. Just in case.

Shouting. Does. Not. Make. Good. Things. Happen. You. Pig.
Just stop it. Shut up. Don't. And get in the car.

So instead of that painting with angry tannic reds, various intense shades of yellow as well as umber, ochre, and sienna, here is a lovely restful image of somewhere in England. Yorkshire. Once a gentleman of impeccable Chinese Filippino background (Fujianese ancestry and an intense knowledge of all the top designer brands) told me "you'd love England, everything is grey there". Indeed.

I've actually been to England several times. Once you get out of London, where there are Yobbos, it's a very nice place. Sure, the food is nothing to write home about, although they have some lovely pork pies, and the teatime offerings are splendid, but in the main no one shouts, there are few if any American or Americanized tourists, they have bookstores, and spicy condiments are available. A lovely place. And yes, they do speak English.

For some reason, the courtesy and professionalism of the staff at Chinese Hospital, and the pharmacy there, always reminds me of England. High standards, sheer competence, and equanamity when dealing with the occasional grouchy old pustule.



The time I spent in the ICU there years ago was, sadly, not alleviated by pork pies. Perhaps an oversight. Maybe I should suggest that to them. It is extremely likely that their Cantonese demographic would appreciate it. Those are the same people that enthusiastically dig into cheesy spaghetti porkchops (焗豬扒意粉 'guk jyu paa yi fan').flaky barbecue pork turnovers (叉燒酥 'chaa siu sou'), and cheesy curry fresh seafood baked rice (芝士咖喱海鮮焗飯 'ji si kaa lei hoi sin guk faan').

There is also Portuguese Chicken Rice (焗葡國雞飯 'guk pou gwok gai faan'; a base of egg-fried rice with mild coconut curry chicken and cheese crusted under the broiler).
People would be dying to get into the ICU.
Oh wait......



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