IT'S LIKE A FROTHY LIZARD

There is always the chance that they actually were in stock. But sometimes you simply have to buy the substitute. These days more often than not. For some of the people I know life seems to have become a constant stream of discovering that something they enjoyed years ago, haven't bought in a decade or more, and fondly remembered last week, is no longer available.

Do you remember the whipped frothy lizard from Beauforts?

Yeah, well, it's no longer made. Very sorry.

Try this rat vest instead.

So John tries the rat vest, which is very good, but not quite like the whipped frothy lizard, and lacks the Parisian resonance from when he was still in college, back in the Fifties, before the floods, before the invention of cellular devices, when you could still trade a squatch for three or four frickets. Tell you what.

Life was very different then.

Yesterday someone shared with me that there used to be a product advertised during a soap opera on television back in the sixties which had a name that could not be used for marketing purposes today. Oh those good old days. He fondly remembered.

Sometimes life is not so much trying to not sound like Grampa Simpson talking about tying an onion to his belt, or his grandson Bart and not having a cow, as it is celebrating being the crazy cat lady living in a rundown gothic stand alone out near the cemetery. Go out onto the front porch and scream that all you damned kids need to get off the lawn.

And why does everything smell like a litterbox?

We all miss squatches and frickets.

Don't remind me.



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