Wednesday, May 21, 2025

ALL HAIL THE MAJESTIC BIRD

This morning the turkey vulture "found" my wallet, and scurried to the edge of my bed to play cards with Lenny, the tentacled monster who lives there. Even though he has been informed that Lenny cheats. Naturally a voice came from the bear in the other room warning them against shenanigans with the big person's leathery thing and the paper monies therein.
They cowered. The senior teddy bear's authority should not be disregarded.
Since then, for several hours, it has been quiet.

But they have plans. Surely the bear will nap. Or go on vacation?

I have a nasty suspicion that when I return from the bathroom there will be miniature brass poles with slinky weasels and ferrets twirling suggestively under my bedside table.
Sydney Fylbert knows that he is the best bird everrrr!
Which should be appreciated, by gum.
He is deserving!

Lenny, for a consideration, will be his enabler.

Yesterday the control monkey (Arabello Oyster, a small dark purplish gorilla) gifted me with several containers of medicated foot powder, as a possible bribe. I need to do something about that nasty bird! Which I shan't. I rely on the authority of the senior teddy bear.
She always knows exactly what the beasts are up to.
Naturally, when I leave for day I shall take my wallet with me. Which will flummox their plans. It's my money, I shall need it when not wandering around smoking my pipe. Food, groceries, milk tea. Despite Sydney Fylbert's entreaties, I do not intend to hunt for, harvest, or bag up any nice fatty thighs while out. He is convinced that there is a lot of tempting human carrion wandering around out there, upon which he could feast if only I was more amenable and whacked my fellow citizens, whom no one would miss, go ahead, take the cleaver!


I fear that the authorities, including the senior teddy bear, might object.


Besides, a sane and stable pillar of the community with plenty of gravitas (and perspicacity) such as myself has an image to maintain. I can not just go around whacking useless old fossils, what would people think of me?



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