DO YOU HAVE HOTSAUCE?

The good thing about speaking and reading Chinese after a fashion is that I can order at a restaurant and get the stuff I really want. If I can read it, surely I know what it is and won't be hideously upset at what is put in front of me? Speaking Chinese (Cantonese) means I have realistic expectations, and can be presumed to have at the very least a passing familiarity with norms and customs regarding food.

On my days off I do eat out a lot. Frequently at one of the C'town chachanteng restaurants.
A chachanteng (茶餐廳) is a restaurant that has hot Hong Kong milk tea (港式奶茶 'gong sik naai chaa') and caters to the no nonsense single diner, as well as serving Hong Kong style semi-western dishes and quick fairly simple to prepare familiar comfort food.

Oh, and almost all of them know by now about the hot sauce.
[I always ask for hot sauce.]

And often I eat by myself. Usually because there is no one to eat with, and eating with many of the white people I know might lead to situations where I'd be rather hesitant to go to that restaurant ever again. Having been asked to order in Chinese (Cantonese) for the giddy entertainment of my fellow diners and the undoubted flabbergasting of the waitstaff.

With the following hypothetical utterances:

嗰邊嘅臭腳佬要酸甜豬肉，紅頭渴望鍋貼，醜男問你哋有冇紐約式Tso宗棠雞。同埋五碟蝦炒飯，唔該。
['Go pin ge chau geuk lou yiu suen tim chü yiuk，hung tau hot mong wo tip，chau naam man nei tei yau mou nau yeuk sik Tso zung tong gai。tung maai ng dip haa caau faan, m koi.']
"Stinky foot fellow over there (pointing) wants sweet and sour pork, the red head (no pointing, because it's obvious who I mean) desires fried potstickers, the smelly man (pointing again) asks do you actually have New York style General Tso's chicken.
Oh, and five plates of shrimp fried rice, please."

Followed by:

佢哋全部都需要叉子。
['Keui tei chuen bou dou seui yiu chaa ji.']
"They all need forks."

Dudes, we're at Shantung Palace. I do not speak Mandarin. And I don't know beans about Northern food. Besides, this is all Americanized Chinese, and they don't even have mantou (饅頭). Which Northerners might want instead of rice. Plus there's ambiance. That costs extra. Flowers at the front, and soft lighting. Plus knick-knacks. And ethnic stuff. Art!

On second thought, what the heck, I will probably never want to come here again anyway, so I might as well give y'all the giddy (you're paying, right?) and I'll treat myself tomorrow in Chinatown at a real place.

One where they know about the hot sauce.

Remarkably, I hardly ever have plum vegetable pork belly (梅菜扣肉 'mui choi kau yiuk') and don't even know who has the best version, primarily because a serving would be too rich for just one person, and despite the name the vegetable quotient is rather small. Also, most of my fellow Caucasians would probably be horrified or aghast at the idea of so much fat.
Mmm. delicious stewed pork fat!


A few years ago I ordered stewed fatty pork belly slabs over tofu with black bean sauce at a well-known restaurant that caters to the downtown business crowd when I was having lunch with other people. I thought we could share. Sadly, all of those English speakers were too fastidious and healthy. But it was quite yummy.

And great with hot sauce.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================