THE REAL AMERICA!

You know those news articles where somebody burned down their house because there was a huge spider which they tried to kill by setting aflame their can of hairspray so it would be a blowtorch? They missed the spider and hit the drapes. The spider got away.
But the entire row of suburban neoclassical ranches went up.

People tell me I should visit the real America.
I think not. I don't want to.
Them.


It's filled with trailer parkers, inbred Jed, slopebrows, Republicans, bible thumping cretins, Marjorie Taylor Greene, coprophages, Iowa, zombies, born again Southern Baptist swine, fundie devil worshippers, Kyle Rittenhouse, sister fornicators and Mormons, machine oil, large poisonous bugs, football, flag-waving illiterates, Fox News watching morons, necrophiliacs, beer-swilling yutzes, people who will kill you with apple pie...
Unwashed savages, Ted Cruz, Lauren Boebert.
Clones of the My Pillow Guy.

I'll take a pass.

They visit us here in San Francisco.

Then they complain.



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