IT AIN'T GONNA WORK

As I understand it, having visited the internet, the eclipse today is a warning to Democrats to return to Jesus, caused by the mirror-earth Niburu crossing in front of the sun, heralding a mass extinction and the uplift of the 144,000 select to the heavenly throne and the painful servitude of everyone else. And because "they" "lied" to us about the pandemic, don't you believe "them" when they tell you not to look at the eclipse. Good Christians have nothing to fear. Jesus will protect your eyes. Also, there is no point in voting anymore, because 'The Saved' will gain everlasting life and gunrights. Or sumpin'.

Halfwits don't need their heads examined. Those are clean teacups.

Marjorie Taylor Greene will use her unique powers dancing naked during the eclipse to defeat the Jewish space daemons trying to eat the heavenly bodies.

Special Maralago eclipse sunglasses now available!
Just five hundred dollars for believers.
As foretold in the holy book.
Supplies limited.


A cynical friend recently remarked "the entire Republican Party has devolved into a host of pig ignorant flat-earthers: oddly enough, I don’t feel "owned", but I will admit that I'm pretty amused." Which saddens me. The reason pigs stay ignorant is because they can't read.


The tribulation: war, pestilence, famine, targeted advertising, and woe.
Plus the cancellation of your favourite teevee shows.
As was foretold.



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