Apparently mature men of a certain age out on the front steps enjoying tobacco are an unusual thing. While outside, several passers by gave me looks. Looks that either said: "you frightful pervert, how dare you poison the air that little children will breathe tomorrow morning, the precious dears" or "good heavens, there's a dessicated refugee from the stone age!"
Perhaps it was the pipe; a handsome piece of briar.
On second thought, that must be it.
A very fine briar pipe.
It probably reminds them of their grandfather. Which is unfortunate, because they've never called since they shoved the old blighter into an assisted living facility, never sent a letter, never even e-mailed to see how he was doing.
He smelled bad and he ate too much.
Now he's being pursued by randy eighty year old women.
There's not a spare ounce of fat on him.
Running keeps him trim.
All he has to do is outrun the other men there. The ones in wheelchairs have no chance. Those eighty year old grannies will catch them easily.
Whatsa matter, ya never seen someone smoke a pipe before?
I harbour bitter feelings towards millenials.
In my day, we didn't vape or smoke pot, we barely even drank! Our lives were clean and abstemious, the internet had not been invented yet, and the internal combustion engine was still a pipe dream. The Wright brothers hadn't been born, and we feasted on oatmeal porridge and flaked wheat kernel puffs, which are good for cleansing your bowels.
We were total saints, dammit.
Now get off my lawn!
Maybe I should have said 'boo' at them.
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