Friday, September 27, 2019

EATING RIGHT

And, speaking of food, a friend showed what he ate for lunch. It is a beautiful and striking picture, which if it were art could well hang in a doctors office, so that sound individuals like myself would, when nobody was watching, adjust it because the cleaning staff while dusting knocked it out of perfect perpendicularity, with exact ninety degree angles.
As they are wont to do.

That's what happens when a man (or woman) studies medicine for oompty-oomp years instead of geometry. Logically both subjects could go hand in hand, but in most cases they don't. Please arrange the unconscious subject on the gurney in as much as possible a position parallel to the sides, so that we don't accidentally crash parts of his comatose ass into a wall when going around a hospital corner fast. Which is extremely important.

A little nudge lower left corner. Just so.
It's perfect now, thank me.

The picture:


CHILI CHEESE DOG WITH ONIONS AND JALAPEÑOS
Celllphone Photo: Irfan M, Thursday Sept 26, 2019

Now, the serious question you have to ask yourself next Tuesday afternoon at the hospital is NOT: "do I show this to my cardiologist when he asks if I'm finally eating right?" but "how DO you eat this?"


For obvious reasons, it should be eaten like salad: with a fork.
With something so messy, that is the right way.


It is not at all certain that your cardiologist's sense of aesthetics can trump his professional concern with your arteries, so it is probably best he not see this picture, even if he does ask you for advice on making his office decor more interesting, But visually, it is stunning. A thing of haphazard joy.


Such a pity the restaurant that serves this delight is nowhere near the hospital where I will see my cardiologist, as I wish I could have this for lunch after my coming appointment. Instead, I will probably head over to a chachanteng for porkloin and egg over rice.


I do not have a cellphone, or I could show you.




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