At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Friday, August 03, 2018


Another person, let's call him a friend even though we will never eat at the same table or even in the same restaurants, but he's kind of likeable, claims that BECAUSE he has a large kale shake with turmeric, black pepper, honey, ginger, algae, and a dash of apple cider vinegar every morning, after his cup of coffee, he feels better than ever. It really wakes him up and gives him boundless energy.

Two things:
1) Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; it kickstarts digestion, metabolism, and brain function. Eating a flattened possum on the side of road has the same effect as the kale shake with all that crap.
2) Coffee? You know how caffeine works, right?

Okay, three things. The third:

He believes that childhood vaccination took him down at least ten IQ points, and decreased his romantic chances. And that this kale concoction (with turmeric, black pepper, honey, ginger, algae, and apple cider vinegar) is slowly reversing that. He can feel it.

I have, of course, explained to him that he's simply getting older and crazier.
This may seem like reborn youth, but that is deceptive.

No, I haven't asked him for his recipe.


The proper way to start the day is with a cup (or two) of coffee. And perhaps something solid, because you 'like' your digestive system and maybe you want something to munch on. Plus your blood sugar is low, and you feel torpid after sleep.
There is no part of that which includes kale, unless you sauté it with a bit of bacon, and have it with toast and a little yoghurt. In this case, spices are okay too. Chilies, black pepper, ginger, turmeric. Algae is not a spice.

You could also have it with a fresh croissant, but only if it is a proper French, Belgian, or Southern Dutch croissant. Not that beastly buttery greasy dough lump Americans think is a croissant. You want to get fat, you eat that crap. You want a decent croissant, you go to Northern Europe.

By the way, raw kale, no matter how well you clean it, can still harbour pests and bugs. E-coli, campylobacter, salmonella, listeria, and several extremely fascinating parasites. Altogether nearly half of all food poisoning cases are caused be such things, less than five percent by angry in-laws or wizards.

Have some coffee instead.
It's what you need.

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