Wednesday, October 05, 2016

DUCKS, FOG, AND ACCIDENT FLARES

In several more weeks we'll be taking down the spooky decorations and putting up cut-out pilgrims. After that, red-coated fat man and Baby Jesus. The pumpkins stay. Pumpkins are suitable for every occasion.
And non-denominational.

This blogger, being a sour old coot, unattached and no kin, truly hates the holiday season. Only exception being Halloween, when we disembowel clowns, and Valentine's Day, when we pay restaurant workers scads of money for feeding our gluten-intolerant dates gmo-enriched foods and causing psychosomatic stomach cramps.
Then we drink wine.

We don't?

Oh crap.


I've always rather disliked turkey, because it's badly done and over-rated. Why can't we have duck instead? I like roast duck.


Years ago I said that "roast turkey is NO substitute for sex, unless you're really old, or really young."


I believe there's always a football game on during the afternoon. That, perfectly, proves my point. Most adult men in this country prefer to watch spandex arse and pigskins in the company of their fellows to a nice quiet bit of nooky with their significant other. Americans always overthink sex, but there is NO thinking necessary for televised sports.


I do not like the holidays.
There's nothing to do.

No clowns.




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