BALLS!

In receipt of an absurd e-mail:

Dear Atboth, 



As you may have heard, my race for the US Senate is heading to a runoff election on December 6. For months now, my opponent, Congressman Bill Cassidy has hidden from the voters of Louisiana. He’s been the beneficiary of millions of dollars spent by the Cock Brothers to distort and twist my record of fighting and delivering for Louisiana. Those days are now over. Congressman Cassidy cannot not hide from his record anymore.



These next 23 days are about the future of Louisiana and who has a proven record of fighting for Louisianans every day. I promise to fight every day until the runoff election for the values that we believe in — the values that I have fought for in the US Senate for 18 years now.

I have won two runoff elections in the past, and I can do it again with your support. I just need the resources to mobilize my key supporters once again. 


Election Day was tough for us and our friends, and I know that you have already put so much into this cycle, but I need a little more help to win this election on December 6 -- and to ensure that Democrats hold as many Senate seats as possible in order to keep the margin close and increase our chances of passing good legislation.



I would be grateful if you would contribute $2,600 (or whatever you can afford to do) towards my runoff election. The runoff is considered a new election, so individuals can legally contribute another $2,600 per person, even if you have already maxed out to my campaign this cycle. Here is the link to give online: www.marylandrieu.com/2014runoff


Thanks for your consideration and your unbelievable support of Democrats everywhere. We can win this one!



Warm regards, 


--Mary



Here's what should pass as a response, though directed elsewhere rather than back:


Dear Democratic Party,

The nerve! Look, in general I support you guys against the rabid dingbats on the right, but having your ethically deprived "we'll do anything to stay in power" whores and pimps begging for spare change is an affront. What makes you think anyone really wants to throw money at you spendthrifts? And when some hosebag who waves the Keystone Pipeline in a last ditch attempt to keep her arse in Washington sends out e-mails attempting to morally blackmail potential contributors -- on behalf of a seat in Lost Cause Country, nota bene -- it gets to be a bit much. Indeed, we have enemies in common; so did Winston Churchill and Joe Stalin. Don't make more of a mere coincidence than there is.

Mary Landrieu's disgusting struggle to disassociate herself from our president AND kiss-ass to vested interests by pandering to illiterate damned bigots in a swamp, is one of the most reprehensible and loathsome political spectacles I have seen yet.

Please go blow some sailors if you're desperate.

Warm regards,


--ATBOTH

PS.: Do not construe this as support for the Republicans. Screw them with a broken bottle. Thank you. They can have Louisiana. Who the hell cares?

By the way, in the weeks leading up to the recent election here in San Francisco, I received enough printed propaganda from Democrats to build a tree. I threw out bales of it. In most cases I didn't even read it, except for the crap that the David Campos supporters sent out. That I did read, then I used it to wipe up dog shit on the pavement outside my house. Thank the good lord that that piece of dreck lost the election. The last thing that San Franciscans need is for any part of Tom Ammiano's legacy to be perpetuated.

Thanks to Tom and the ultra-left harpies, I currently support mandatory regular drug testing and psychological profiling for all politicans; with the results to be published at their expense.

My mailbox is not a garbage dump.
Stop pretending otherwise.




Please note: some names have been changed, to protect the innocent.



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