FELINE CULINARY VICES

One of the things I often say is that the internet exists for only three things: kitten pictures, smut, and recipes. Several readers of this blog have come here for only one of those.
No, it isn't lascivious videos or feline portraits.

I myself often surf the net looking for exactly those things. Because I am in no way unpredictable.

One of these days I will find a site that harmoniously combines all three.


A recent internet search didn't find me that web page, but it did turn up Sick Bitch. Who is well worth visiting. Especially for her take on biscuits versus scones, in which she says exactly what I've always thought, namely that biscuits are scones and scones are unidentifiable American objects.
If you want a Devonshire Cream Tea, make yourself some fresh biscuits, buy a pot of good strawberry jam, and forget about the clotted cream entirely, because it isn't available here. Settle for some butter instead. Clotted cream is over 50% butterfat, in case you were wondering.
Both cats and pornostars love it.


[Note: The American biscuit, especially the Southern interpretation, is a yeast or soda poof bread of small dimension, rather than something twice baked. So it does not resemble the flat disc which the English know, nor the coffee-dippers that Italians call biscotti. It doesn't recall the Dutch 'beschuit' ("rusk") in any way at all. But it's great fresh and hot, with melted butter and berry preserves, peach chutney, or dark marmalade. Southerners like it with gravy. Which is absurd. Try it with pork chile verde instead.]


KITTEN PICTURES, SMUT, AND RECIPES

That was precisely the search I entered in my engine. The results were overwhelmingly animal, except for a few mentions of fungus, and two homo-erotic illustrations that were too innocent to titillate even if I swung that way.

Perhaps unremarkably, my own blog did not come up. This post should change that. The world will beat a path to my door. For sure.
Kitten pictures, smut, and recipes...


Hello World! Please imagine me covered in clotted cream. Ooh, it feels nice! And it has a delightful appetizing aroma. Now lick your lips and wonder what I'd taste like with some strawberry preserves.

On second thought, scrap that. Angular middle-aged men should not rub themselves all over with dairy products unless they have a tarp.

Even if there is a website for that precisely.

Or a service industry niche.

"...reporters from the tabloid discovered that some spas near Kuala Lumpur are offering customers the option of being smeared with cream cheese."

Nah, ain't going to tell you where I got that tidbit from.
You'll just have to research it on your own.
That's what the internet is for.


I've never owned a tarp.


No, it's not time.


Yet.



LAGNIAPPE

To thank you for coming this far, here's a gratuitous video. It's entirely clean, unless you are a vegetarian, in which case you might find it both repulsive and strangely exciting.
I know I do.

MURGHI JHOL; ENJOY WITH STEAMED WHITE RICE, ALSO WELL WITH CHAPATI, ROTI, OR PARATHA.

[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5ifWFvvhk4.]


[Source: http://www.firstpost.com/topic/place/kolkata-easy-chicken-curry-chicken-masala-kolkata-style-video-g5ifWFvvhk4-47648-4.html.]

Go ahead; fry the potatoes before adding.
Use plenty of butter (or ghee).
It will taste better.
Yummy.



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