Honestly, I do not know why I even bothered to sign-up for OKCupid. Maybe it was desperation. Or boredom. Perhaps just ill-advised curiosity about the other species.
OKCupid is a dating site. Years ago, when for laughs I joined as Borat Sagdiyev, I didn't expect that he would prove so popular among their subscribers. I had answered the questionnaire in character, assuming that no woman would be smitten by a crude sexist vulgarian.
I was wrong. No sane woman would.
Hundreds of others were.
Desperate times.
About a year ago I joined up again. As myself.
Desperation, boredom, & curiosity.
Crazy move, I know.
I am not Borat.
OKCupid insists on trying to link me up with people who are 100% perfect. Which their profiles take pains to make utterly and completely plain, so that even the densest of males will be astounded by their awesome wonderfulness.
Herewith a sampling of the most recent candidates.
"I am creative, devoted, and always up for trying new things. Current events, current movies, current books my interest"
"I'm physically active, secure, financially & otherwise and non-judgemental if you are interested in sharing my grand passion for authentic experiences"
"I am witty, kind and incredibly loyal, I'm also adventurous, well traveled and well read"
"I have done a lot of great things but I would love to share these experiences with someone special"
"I’m really good at writing singing playing guitar languages listening understanding designing and being spontaneous"
"I am charming, athletic, artistic, and driven. I love muscle cars, art, sports, and outdoors. I'm looking to meet someone who has a strong interest in sports"
"I am a pretty happy accomplished girl who loves traveling, camping, and finding new places to explore. I like being around people who are being spontanious, adventures and extraverted like me"
"I love photography, artistic things, acting and fashion"
"I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make a difference"
"I'm enjoy cooking, baking, cleaning, riding bicycle, playing music"
"I'm reading, singing, walking, looking forward to adventuring in Africa"
"I spend a lot of time thinking about why Africa moves so slowly, tofu, biogas"
Well now. Aren't they just.
I am flattered that OKCupid thinks they would be suitable for me.
But really, they deserve someone special.
Which I am decidedly not.
I am not creative, devoted, grandly passionate, adventurous, designing, spontaneous, charming, athletic, artistic, driven, accomplished, riding a bicycle, singing, or in any way looking forward to Africa.
I seldom think of biogas.
I am unworthy.
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