EVIDENCE OF CLEANLINESS

The regular reader of this blog realizes that I am often not at home, from sometime late afternoon till mid-evening. Due, largely, to the fact that there is someone else living in the apartment. The main reason for my absence is that I will wish to smoke, and therefore must find a place where that can be done in peace and quiet.

No, it isn't that she is incredibly noisy and interruptive -- she's mostly calm and a pleasure to live with, quite unlike the big Lesbian rowdies that so many other single men in San Francisco have ended up with as apartment mates, who scream and shout and assert their proud alternative womanhood with meaningful confrontation and tattoo parties -- but the various rooms need to thoroughly air out before she returns, and one cannot smoke a pipe or two or three while reading in the kitchen near the open window for several hours. When she is home the rest of our living quarters are off-limits for middle-aged badgers and specifically their finely functioning briars.


It's just one of the hazards of being a pipe-smoking badger.

Personally, I cannot imagine the exquisite aroma of Virginias, Latakia, or Smyrna leaf, being objectionable. Why, it's like incense!
But I have learned that many women do not smell this from the same point of fume.
Especially the non-smokers.
It is a sad handicap.


Unfortunately, she is not a smelly creature.

As one of my friends puts it, "men are from mars, women are from venus flytrap". I have no idea what exactly that means, but it does highlight that there may be insurmountable differences between the two species.

At the very least, smoking chases away the fruit flies.


Sometimes, when I come home, there will be audible splashing from the bathroom, to indicate that someone is in there, in a state of whole or partial nudity, engaged in the moist rituals of cleanliness.

There is, in fact, a small naked woman in the bath.

Keep your big bestial self the hell out.



This badger is, on the whole, supportively positive about women who bathe. It's a good thing, and I encourage it. Absolutely. I would love to actually see it, rather than merely inferring it from audible evidence, but I understand that most females object strongly to furry individuals with pipes in their mouths assuming a ring-side seat, and happily chatting about soap, washcloths, and fluffy towels, while they ablute. It's that aforementioned dislike of exceptional pipe tobaccos.
The perfume, while they are naked and wet, upsets them.


Women making themselves clean are beautiful.

Many more of them should do that.



Ideally, of course, one of them would invite the badger in, to be the impartial witness, who could sincerely affirm that indeed her objective has been achieved, she is sparkling, and smells good. Or instead discretely keep his mouth shut and look quizzical while puffing his pipe, especially if someone else were to raise inconvenient questions. "What soap did she use, was it fruity, and did you have to help her apply it?" You know, embarrassingly probing none of your business.
Things that no gentleman would even consider answering.
Bathing women tend to be secretive.
Badgers can respect that.
We bathe too.


Nicotine is a stimulant.


There is nothing here except a single middle-aged mustelid and his fine pipe tobacco -- Smyrna from Asia Minor, Latakia from the island of Cyprus, flue-cured Virginia -- as well as several briars. If you wish to read this post as a salacious proposition, that is up to you.


Do you bathe?



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