At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles. BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles. All cheese-doodling ended in 2010, and there hasn't been any in far too long. Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

COLLEGIATE FANTASY

The spambot assault on the comments field continues, the war is unending. Despite the siege, however, this blogger is winning. Constant, recurring, and repetitive victory.
It's rather like a video game. But without the sheer sense of achievement the player gets when shooting down alien rockets or blasting cartoon ducks.
Every time I consign a batch of spam comments to the void, there's a very mild feeling of regret; alas, none of these were actual readers.

One recent comment that was not published did, however, arouse a zesty set of images in my imagination: COLLEGE PANTIE PORN.

A lesser man would've clicked on the link. But that would be giving the evil spambots a victory.

Never-the-less, the gestalt represented by 'college pantie porn' is in its own way utterly charming. What could be more delightful than co-eds engaging in studious and scholarly depravity? There it is, seven a clock on a Sunday morning, and several gay young ladies are having an underwear party with the boys from the classics department. Salacious comments in Latin are being uttered, Greek texts are quoted entire, then Caesar's death is re-enacted with scanty silken French-cuts or bikini briefs instead of togas, and naughty rubber devices in lieu of Roman stilletos. The emperor, played by a petite blonde wearing a purple bra and pantie set trimmed in Belgian lace, succumbs under a barrage of ticklish touching.

Joy and merry giggling all around.


College Pantie Porn: a concept that brings a smile to the face of any right thinking man.


Unfortunately, I have no doubt that the reality would be quite uninteresting, and rather depressing even. Instead of bright-eyed demoiselles and witty boys with glasses, more than likely it is dull-eyed bottle-blonde has-been cheerleader heffalumps and tattooed slags getting 'entertained' by brutish football players and zombie high-school dropouts in a filthy motel room in Orange County. About the only things remarkable would be the beer bong in one corner of the set for verisimilitude, and the worn athletic jersey on the badly sagging couch as another prop suggesting an academic environment.
Bad lighting, and close-ups of ugly bits.
This sleazy amateurish film brought to you by flunkees from UCLA.
Beer-sodden failures from the film department.
Exceedingly suburbanite.
So-Cal.

Probably so much infectious malware on the college pantie porn site that your motherboard would explode. All your files are now in Ouagadougou, and once you finally have access to your e-mail again you will discover that you have won the European Lottery several dozen times. An ex-con in Nebraska has charged a pallet of viagra to your Visa account. Several people have made long trans-Atlantic phone calls in your name.
You are now the proud owner of a time-share in Florida.
And there's a blow-up sex-doll on your lawn.


Still, college panties. I wonder what college panties are like.
They sound so bright and care-free.



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