FISHBALL RIVER NOODLE SOUP 魚丸河粉

Had to go down to the courthouse Tuesday because someone thought I would make a great juror. Yeah, me!
Either that or my name showed up on a list.
The list, as it turns out, was wrong. The lawyer for the defense took one look at me and threw me out. Guessing perhaps I wouldn't be so good for her case.
And I really cannot understand why. I was more than willing to give that grotty gun-toting thug client of hers the benefit of doubt. Every chance possible.
Don't want to send an innocent lawbreaker to the big house just 'cause there were witnesses dot dot dot red-handed dot dot dot ...
I mean, he could really be a sweet guy, right?
Right?

Just like the bunch of juvie Vietnamese gangbangers at the banh mi place on Hyde Street a block and half up from Golden Gate in the TL where I went when court broke for lunch.

For all I know they could be regular church-goers.
Good God-fearing boys that help their mothers.
Who am I to judge people on appearances?
Even if they do have pieces sticking out of their windbreakers.
That's a very impressive Ruger, truly!
No concealed heaters here.
Total honesty.


The reason why I chose that place is because the soups and sandwiches (unidentifiable unless you read Vietnamese..... which except for soups and sandwiches I don't) are pretty darn good. It's cheap, nice atmosphere (and clean tables), and NOBODY bothers a bearded middle-aged white dude.
ESPECIALLY if he looks like he might pull a serious textbook on you.
Drop of a hat. He's the type that would do something like that.
Might be 'Intro to Literature'. Or 'Beginning Algebra'.
You don't want trouble. Just step the heck away.
Let the bearded middle-aged white fella eat.
Pray that he doesn't lecture someone.

Turns out I didn't want to eat there at all. Something going on outside, and the entire block smelled of drug-addict vomit. Even the banh mi joint.
Nearly heaved up right there. Good freaking heavens.
The last thing we need is exploding junkies.

Which brings me to the second part of my inspirational talk.


BEST DARN TENDERLOIN LUNCH EVER!
Around the corner, between Hyde and Larkin on Ellis Street. You like noodles?
They got 'em. Lots of noodles.
Fabulous, better than any of the places filled with Hastings law students further down.


HẲI KÝ MÌ GIA
海記麵家
HAI KY NOODLE HOUSE
707 Ellis Street, San Francisco, CA 94109
415-771-2577

[Hoi Kei Min Kaa]

Extensive menu. Room for around sixty people. Bustling, hardly a place to sit.
It was nearly filled with customers, of whom the overwhelming majority were very happy Cantonese.
At no time were there more than three white complected individuals in the place.

But that isn't what made it so good.

The truly exceptional soupstock does.

The waitress pointed me to a table which already had two Cantonese ladies and an infant busily digging into steaming bowls of phở with crunchy beansprouts, basil leaf, and sliced green chili.
After I ordered fishball river noodles soup and drip coffee (ice and condensed milk), I listened in on their conversation. It progressed from animated gossip about so-and-so's husband and someone else's brother to exclamations of increasing ecstasy over the food. Their girlish faces were wreathed in smiles.
It was soup that made two married women look so beautiful.
Childlike feminine joy - it's a memorable appetizer.

What can I say about the fishballs? Well, fishball is fishball. There's not much more to it than that. Broad rice stick noodles, beansprouts, cilantro, all floating in that sumptuous clarified chicken broth. Add a few chopped chili chunks from the jar of fresh pickled Jalapeño, and you've got sheer heaven.

食咗包了, 好满意!

With the exception of the Mexican waitperson who also works there, all the staff are Teochow Chinese, speak Cantonese and Viet, and probably more than enough English to help the visiting lofan and Philippinos.

When I paid, I remarked to the waitress, "嘩, 又平, 又快, 又好味....., 我都唔明白點解冇多啲佬番.....? "
She didn't understand why either.

It's quite affordable, it's fast, the food is good.
The menu is fairly intelligible. If you have questions, ask!

Happily wandered around after lunch smoking a pipefull of flake, till it was time to go back to court and get peremptorily rejected by an attractive attorney.


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================