Sunday, February 06, 2011

CHINESE NEW YEAR - TWO WEEKS OF EXPLOSIONS

You’ve paid off all your debts, cleaned the house, had a wonderful dinner with the family, and set fire to explosive devices – now what?
Here it is, four days later, and you still got ten or eleven days to go. How long is this thing anyway?


SPRING FESTIVAL 2011 春節

1st. day (Thursday Feb. 3rd. 2011): Stay away from meat, and also avoid tofu. The first because doing so today contributes to a long life (or so it is believed), the second because tofu is white, which is the colour of mourning. Distribute red envelopes. And set fire to more explosives.

2nd. day (Friday Feb. 4th. 2011): 開年飯 Honour the ancestors, be kind to dogs, and send your wife off to visit her parents. Then have a great family meal to start the year.
Set off more explosives.

3rd. day (Saturday Feb. 5th. 2011): 赤狗日 Today is a good day to stay inside, but you might as well go visit your wife's parents - even though for some reason you and her dad aren't on the best of terms. It's a crimson dog day. Explosives?

4th. day (Sunday Feb. 6th. 2011): Did you visit your wife's kinfolk yesterday? No? Maybe you should do it today. Force yourself to smile. You can set off explosives later.

5th. day (Monday Feb. 7th. 2011): Stay home. The only person who should visit anyone should be Second Older Brother Kwan (關二哥). Set off tons of explosives to attract him.

6th. day (Tuesday Feb. 8th. 2011): Visit the temple, see friends, have fun. More explosives.

7th. day (Wednesday Feb. 9th. 2011): 人日 You're officially a year older. Act like it. Oh, and also go have raw fish salad with everyone, it means that you'll get rich (撈起, 生意興隆). It probably won't work, but heck, good food, good company - why not? Explosives.

8th. day (Thursday Feb. 10th. 2011): Have another 'Open The Year' feast - whole family sik faaaan!
Explosives.

9th. day (Friday Feb. 11th. 2011): Time to visit a temple again, the Tien Gong Miu (天公廟) this time, 拜神拜神.
Hey, how about some explosives?

10th day (Saturday Feb. 12th. 2011): Well, now is a good time to go out for dimsum with all your homies. There are some really great places. You could do that tomorrow also.
And what the heck, set off explosives.

11th. day (Sunday Feb. 13th. 2011): Food. Friends. Explosives.

12th. day (Monday Feb. 14th. 2011): Some white person's holiday. Oh, and more food, friends, explosives.

13th. day (Tuesday Feb. 15th. 2011): It might be a good idea to eat simple food today, nothing fancy. Rice porridge, for instance. Honour Second Older Brother Kwan. Incense, and later, explosives.

14th day (Wednesday Feb. 16th. 2011): Make sure you have enough food for tomorrow - sweet things, fun foods. But don't overindulge. Set off those explosives you confiscated from the boy.

15th. day (Thursday Feb. 17th. 2011): 元宵節 Lantern festival. Glutinous rice dumplings filled with bean paste or lienyong in syrup. Make eyes at somebody nice. Stay up all night, what the heck.
Darn kid, hid some more explosives! We know what to do with those, don't we?

16th. day (Friday Feb 18th. 2011): Wake up late. Rush to work. Cheer yourself up later by setting off some explosives.

17th. day (Saturday Feb. 19th. 2011): Stay out of Chinatown, it's filled with Caucasians from the suburbs and far too crowded. Parade, 金龍 and the Saint Mary's Drum and Bell Corps.
The wait-staff at your favourite restaurants? Stressed out by everyone demanding sweet and sour pork, egg rolls, fried rice, kung pao chicken.......... and explosives.

There's probably a great Vietnamese restaurant out in the Sunset you haven't tried yet, why not take the wife and kids and have a good time?



AFTERTHOUGHT:

紅屑 Years ago, before two illegal fireworks factories blew up and killed several people, the noise in Chinatown and North Beach was much more impressive; authorities were rather lax about enforcement in those days.
For several weeks before and a full month after the first day of New Years the sound of firecrackers was nearly constant, deafening, and columns of smoke rose above the roofs. If you walked on Pacific, or in the alleyways, the red underfoot would be thick as autumn leaves, dense drifts of cheery crimson scrap. It was good to be alive.
白果 One year autumn had been particularly mild, and 春節 was in January - the gingko trees in front of 平園 had only recently started shedding their leaves, the pale gold and the bright red mixed and mingled, covering the street.
黄葉 Since then I've associated the beautiful yellowed gingko leaves with new year and the detritus from firecrackers, even though that colourful confluence is rare, and the explosions have also been far less impressive.
When the trees are finally bare and the ground is hidden, it will be new year.


大家恭喜發財, 萬事如意!



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