I DEMUR!

On an e-mail list, I mentioned that I was up to my eyebrows in alligators and going insane.
This as a way of demurring something which required both time and effort.
By alligators I meant uncollected accounts, and by going insane I meant that I was still growing up – it has taking several years longer than expected.
I’m on my way to becoming an adult.

That’s an ongoing process. As I’m sure everyone will agree.

Early rumours of mental health may have been an exaggeration.

Especially given events last night.


Bourbon, Scotch, Liqueur, Fruity Drinks, Maraschinos, Beer, Bitters, Biscuits, Goat Cheese, Blue Cheese, Dried Fish.


A friend and colleague was in town, so some of us went out for drinks. Later we ended up at a notorious cocktail establishment, and I remembered fearfully what had happened there before with the same people. Seeing a good friend suck onion dip up his nose with a rolled slice of luncheon meat is not pretty. And I can also tell you that stale taco chips and canned pork are NOT the breakfast of champions, even if it has become morning.

There’s a little convenience market two doors up from the low dive.
Folks tend towards peckish after a few drinks.

So, while on a well-deserved smoke break, I pre-emptively purchased cheesy comestibles. Didn’t want to see the Spam experiment again, let alone that nightmarish scene with bologna for a coke-straw, and onion dip as a line. Which was, if I recall correctly (and darn that’s hard right now), a spur of the moment speculative demonstration of what an ex-coworker was probably doing at that very minute.
The exhibition put everyone else off the onion dip.
Onion dip looses a lot of its appeal once you see it flying from a nose.
Thank heavens it didn’t hit the remaining bologna, or some of us wouldn’t had had any dinner that evening.

Had I been entirely sane yesterday, I might not have bought any cheese, given what happened to the onion dip, and considering how similar in hue and texture dip and cheese can be.
It was an unconscionable risk.
Fortunately, matters did not get out of …………………… hand.

An hour later, elsewhere, I gesticulated energetically with a pungent dried fish at a bar tender. This in lieu of vocalizing my appreciation. Very keen appreciation.
Shortly afterwards I came home, where I gesticulated with the dried fish at my roommate.
Fortunately, matters did not get out of hand.

Yes, I have waved a large smelly thing at a woman.

It’s part of growing up.

I’m more mature now.

As I’m sure everyone will agree.


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