Apparently the much-trumpeted "second coming" will be on May 21st. 2011.
Approximately five months of unbearable torment are scheduled immediately after.
Pencil it in on your calenders.
This per Family Radio Worldwide, a Christian ministry whose supreme ayatollah has reckoned the date based on the Bible.
Oh boy, I can't wait.
The idea of all the most insufferable people being yanked up is too glorious to contemplate.
This world would be so much better with all of them gone.
Such a pity that it will not happen.
"Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment"
------Said by some senile old harhar somewhere in California.
Given that the aforementioned S.O.H. had previously calculated that the second coming would be in 1994, you may reasonably doubt the S.O.H.'s ability to predict the blasted event.
Apparently the S.O.H. was an adherent of the Dutch branch of Calvinism, before splitting off and forming his own belief-structure, which is based on radio waves and creative mathematics. These are perhaps unusual fundaments for a new creed, but eccentric separatism is well within the tradition of the Netherlandish churches.
Many Dutch Calvinists will aver that the tendency to form dissenting sects is a sign of vibrant health, and that one cannot split rotten wood........
Respectfully, I beg to differ.
With so many 'different' groups, the Dutch Calvinist tradition clearly suffers from theological schizophrenia.
There are some real nuts in the woodwork.
Note, by the way, that though the "rapture" will occur in May, the "End of Days" is scheduled for October.
Possibly right on my birthday. I'll be turning 52 then.
All I can say is that no matter what, there had better be cake.
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5 comments:
"Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture "
Excellent! That means we'll finally be rid of the Bible thumpers.
LOL!
>which is based on radio waves and creative mathematics
Must have gotten a hold of The Mentaculus :)
Jeebus is coming to my Birthday!
For anybody out there who hasn't seen the Coen Bros. A SERIOUS MAN, the "Mentaculus" is the abstruse schema devised by the brother of the protagonist which combines...oh, just see the damn movie. You won't regret it.
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