LIGHT AND DARK

The house is unbearable empty every time she goes to be with him. When she rushes out the door, she is vibrantly alive, glowing, radiant.
This is not, you will understand, conducive to a good mood for the man she dumped.
It reminds me of how painful our last weeks as lovers were.
When she has gone, the sunlight fades and a cold darkness fills our space.

This is an indication of the insanity of our still living together after the breakup.
I will continue to live with her - this is our apartment, home and refuge for both of us, her and me - and I still enjoy her presence (see suggestions of light and warmth above), but her absence is a howling void.

In the past, when she came home, it was to us. To me.
Since she found him, when she returns it is from somewhere else.

It has been a very long time since we ate together, and it has been far too long since I ate with someone whose eyes sparkled at me.
Now when I eat, the emptiness across the table diminishes the taste of every bite.

Food is black alone, it brings no joy.

The company of a loveable woman is like a drug.

Withdrawal is not easy.



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