Friday, December 11, 2009

FOX WAR ON CHRISTMAS!

Courtesy of an anonymous commenter on Dovbear's blog, we now know that FOX Broadcasting are a bunch of atheist, liberal, G-d-h-ting, Marxist, secular humanists.

Bill O'Reilly (the pope of FOX) insists that ONLY enemies of Christmas will wish people happy holidays and refer to the season as 'holiday' or 'the holidays' instead of calling a spade a spade.
In O'Reilly's world, bugger everyone who has different traditions, it's Christmas, guddammit.


What the anonymous commenter brought to light was this:

"HOLIDAY MUST HAVES FROM THE FOX SHOP!"http://shop.ecompanystore.com/foxnews/FOX_shop.asp


What?
The pope of FOX (Bill O'Reilly) is either a hypocrite or a dunce - his own church (pardon, "employer") has joined the WAR ON CHRISTMAS!

Fie! Fie! Fie!


[From WIKIPEDIA: "...the concept of a modern-day "War on Christmas" only became widely discussed in the United States and Canada during the first few years of the 2000s decade, often credited particularly to an exposure of the issue by American commentator Bill O'Reilly.
The claim among Brimelow, O'Reilly, and later a variety of prominent media figures and others was that any specific mention of the term "Christmas" or its religious aspects was being increasingly censored, avoided, or discouraged by a number of advertisers, retailers, government (prominently schools), and other public and secular organizations."
SOURCE:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_on_Christmas]

Given that Bill O'Reilly is certainly NO poster boy for Christian values, being a narrow-minded hateful right-wing s.o.b. with a foul temper (oh wait, never mind......... ).......... !

Strike that. Different tack.


Look, Bill, I accept that you and your evil masters at FOX are spineless and ethically deprived. Really. We treasure you people for being folks we can comfortably feel much better than.
That counts for very much, and we're grateful.

BUT COULD YOU AT LEAST TRY TO BE CONSISTENT??!!??

For instance, if one week you're gonna advocate that all not-quite-humans be encouraged to have abortions, and the next week you praise anti-abortionists, you can't blame us if we don't quite understand what you're thinking.

As another less than hypothetical example, if one of you avers that the poor are getting rich by screwing the system, and another one of you follows that by screaming that the system is gonna impoverish us all it's the apocalypse run fer the hills maw, shouldn't we be a little confused?

What do you really mean?


So also with the War on Christmas.
Or the War on the War on Christmas.
Or even the War against the War on the War on Christmas.

If, because of greed and an understandable desire to join in the bleeding of suckers which is traditional around this time of year, you join in on the War on Christmas, and call it the 'holiday', or 'holidays', surely you are sending mixed messages?


You can't have it both ways. Either you are outraged, furiously outraged(!) at the mercantile exploitation of sweet little baby Jesus' very own special magic joy-joy time, OR you are guilty of buying into the whole midwinter Germano-Celtic pine tree and fatman feast, trying to squeeze every last drop of lucre out of all the non-sectarians who aren't going to church on Christmas Eve because they need to hide expensive stuff under a decorated fire hazard in their living room.
It's one or the other.

Show some backbone, Billy. Some gumption. Go down there Billy and burn the gift shop down! Damn them for speaking of "Holiday Must Haves", damn them all. Curse them and their children and their children's children, and cast them out into the cold. Pitchforks and torches, pitchforks and torches - it's a matter of principle! Expunge them, Billy, show them what real Christians think of their vile opportunism. Be foul tempered. Possibly violent.
We know you can do it.
They're besmirching the holy name of FOX and innocent wee floofy Jesus and all that is good.

Money changers in the temple, Billy. Money changers in the temple.

3 comments:

jonathan becker said...

brilliant. would you please write something stupid so i can stop feeling like such a pathetic fanboy?

Tzipporah said...

:)

Anonymous said...

If you think Bill is bad you should listen to Glen Beck. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s strictly for entertainment purposes only. Please pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Oh and BTW your Christmas gift is on the way! Merry Happy Joy-Joy Citizen

Kevin

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