What I really wanted to write about today was something else, but I got distracted by the news.
Per an article in a foreign newspaper some Germans are upset about a product that our company manufactures.
To them it looks far too much like a penis (no, we do not manufacture wurst).
Suffice to say that Germans are both filthy minded and insane. Some of them.
Apparently they (the filthy minded insane Germans) are now boycotting our entire product line.
I'm giggling like an idiot right now.
Thank you, Germans!
GERMAN PENIS!
I cannot remember what I was originally going to write about. See, I was reading a foreign news publication over the internet while eating, when I saw mention of our penissy product (the one that angers filthy-minded Germans). As well as the outrage.
Have you ever shot a tomato and cheese sandwich out of your nose? I can now say that I have. It's a new experience.
The particular sandwich (tomato and cheese) will stand in for all possible sandwiches, and I shall not need to do that again. I now know what having sandwich matter shooting out of each nostril feels like.
My knowledge has thus increased.
Thank you, Germans!
I also now know how hard it is to remove sandwichy goo from the keyboard. If this thing starts smelling in the next few days, I'll know why. They say that keyboards are a source of infection, or that more germs are found on keyboards than on doorknobs. This may have been what they were referring to.
It is a source of potent joy that there were no pickles on that sandwich.
Thank you, Germans!
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THE AIR IS CRUNCHY!
Perhaps it's the weather. There were fewer people than normal about in Chinatown. The chachanteng where I went for lunch had four tables...
6 comments:
>Suffice to say that Germans are both filthy minded and insane.
This reminds me of a verse from a rap song by MC Abdominal called "The Hit Song". The point is that he is bragging about how many hit songs he can write and lets loose with the following couplet (read the last line)
See I got hits kid, so many hits, (how many hits ya got!?), lots
Exemplary metaphors, let me select a few
More hits than when you play blackjack with a deck of twos
More hits than latin percussionists administered to wood blocks
More hits than jimmy dropped at woodstock
I'm not kidding
I'm responsible for more hits than workaholic mafia hitmen
I need to make hits in the worst way
Hitting harder than a family of starving, steroid-injected Mexican quintuplets
Armed with crowbars smacking the shit out of a candy-filled piñata
on their birthday - only hits when I write
More hits than Germans surfing fetish websites
Yo, that is a lot of hits.
Could you post an image of the product under discussion? Or are you afraid of setting Grant Patel off on another rant about prawns?
Could you post an image of the product under discussion?
I would far rather not. It would tell certain people where I work, and how to find me.
I do not trust Lily Haskell of the Arab Resource Organizing Center, Richard Becker and his droogs, or even that bunch of limp-dicked degenerates from JVP and BAWIB. To say nothing of the deviants and violent bastards on the Berkeley Campus - Students for 'Just-us' in Palestine et al.
Of course. Besides, I am having a good enough time imagining it.
Clue: it looks like a penis.
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A German penis.
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Do not envy German men.
Do not envy Germans. Any Germans.
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