Wednesday, August 12, 2009

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HITS, JUST BASH CHAREDIM!

This is the sage advise of a commenter on the Bray of Fundie's blog. It's good advice. And I will gladly take it to heart. Once I figure out something truly nasty to say.

"If you're looking for hits, just bash Charedim!"


[Bray's blog is here: http://innate-differences.blogspot.com/ The post that elicited the comment is this:
http://innate-differences.blogspot.com/2009/08/lessons-from-love-that-dare-not-speak.html
Bray praises homosexuality, more or less. And fervently desires that we should follow that splendid example. ]


SOMETHING NASTY

The problem is that I can't really think of anything vile to say about Charedim. Most of the problems which that community has are not unusual, nor unlike problems of other communities. Nor more so.
The only thing that does seem to be theirs and theirs alone is bad hair day.

Sheitels, in hot summer weather, are absurd.

Especially because of the chlorine in pool water. It destroys wigs like nothing else.

You'd think they'd know this.



DEFINING CHAREDIM

Everyone agrees that the current shverre problems within Judaism are the fault of the Charedim. Oh, and the Reform, of course (which utterly goes without saying).
But how are these groups defined?

The answer is surprisingly simple.
Charedi is anyone so strict that they will not eat my food, nor attend my shul.
Reform is anyone so lax that there's a chezkas treifus regarding their food, and whose place of worship I would not visit.

So, except for the ones who match my minhag and hashkafa precisely, they are wrongheaded heathens.
Hmmmph!
All of them.
No exceptions.

You should understand that being neither of the above is NOT an option. These definitions are so flexible as to be all-inclusive! There's room enough for everyone.

Welcome to the warm embrace of Yiddishkeit, now go visit Bray's blog (http://innate-differences.blogspot.com/).
Tell him Atboth said hi.

-----------------------------------------------------------

ADDENDUM

What's in a name?

Charedim / Haredim / Kharedim - no, these are NOT merely orthographic differences. The division runs deep.
Haredim are emphatically NOT speakers of loshon kodesh (Yiddish), heaven forefend that you should even thinks so. Feh. We don't known what they are. Maybe a type of Reform or New age?
Kharedim are Litvaks from some shtettel around Vilno. Which is called Yeevus or Yiva or Yitze-Instityiut or something. Ver veist? Russishe menshen, vielleicht. Hard gutterals, like Ollanders, or farmers from Groningen (shudder). Not the getzivilizierte Flemishe klanken vi unsere leite, vi 'n Ontverpener aksent. Keine zachte chchchcheeee. Hence the 'kh' spelling.
Also, they're noodges.

17 comments:

The Bray of Fundie said...

thank you so much.

The Bray of Fundie said...

Bray praises homosexuality, more or less. And fervently desires that we should follow that splendid example. ]


Errr less....much less. More like sends-up or Lampoons is more like it.

The Bray of Fundie said...

and while it's true that you've defined charedim have you defined kharedim and haredim???

Hmmmmmmmmmm????

The back of the hill said...

Definition now added.
Heh heh heh.

The Bray of Fundie said...

hilarious...as ussual.

Haven't seen Grant Patel nor any other terminally confused commenters on the post yet...

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Yes yes, in India we have confusion over Haredvar, Charedvar, and Kharedvar - all places in bollocky Pakistan. So I grasp profound dispute over pronunciation - no one bothers asking bollocky natives of Haredvar about issue. We do not associate with them.

For the rest, entire post utter gibberish. Why are you speaking German?


---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And I think you might like to know that I have accepted your friend's kind invite to contribute to the bash the anti-Zionists blog. Have seized opportunity, and shred my wisdom. After which maybe invite most kindly withdrawn.

We shall see.


---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Frigg! Still comment moderating! How many times I have to scream in your little white ear that I am fully sane!

I insist you unmoderate me. No moderation whatsoever!

A bollock upon ypui.


---Grant Waxwroth

judiciously amphibious said...

Loath as I am to agree with Patel Sahib about anything, I have to think that finding a way for him to bypass your comment moderation might be best for everyone involved. He does get awfully gibberant when he is thwarted: I suppose that he is awfully gibberant in any event. If you're not careful, he might start hurling bullocks upon you.

E. Fink said...

Great post.

Tolerance is severely lacking... it is almost comical already...

Not Brisk said...

Who made that comment?

e-kvetcher said...

Off topic

http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/281273,sex-lags-behind-bathroom-visits-in-popularity-dutch-survey.html

The back of the hill said...

Grant, moderation stays. No matter how much you despise 'ypui'. Whatever that is.

Amphib, there is no point in agreeing with mister Patel - he will change his minds (!) and self-contradict at the drop of a dhoti.

E-Fink, thank you! But not only is mere tolerance lacking, even attempts to understand the other seem quite absent. It is all very Calvinistic.....

E-kvetcher, for some reason that html does not produce the desired result - the internet is broken. But if the title imports the content, that is..... quite strange. The Netherlands is the most densely populated country in Europe. If bathroom visits are MORE popular than sex, we must assume an immense number of potty events over there. This may explain much.

e-kvetcher said...

Text of article - note the staggering disparity... 88 per cent vs 21 per cent:

Amsterdam - Sex might be fun, but the Dutch don't find it as fun as a pleasant trip to the bathroom, if survey results reported Thursday by the ANP news agency are to be believed. According to the poll of 1,000 adults, 88 per cent listed a visit to the bathroom as something "they enjoy the most," making it the most popular activity chosen, reported ANP. Only 21 per cent did the same for sex.

ANP described the survey as "representative." It was conducted by the Intomart GfK institute for the popular scientific magazine Quest.

The second most popular activity, according to the survey, was having a good chat with friends. Outdoor recreation took third place.

The back of the hill said...

Uuuuuy! Perhaps the bathroom is the warmest room in the house. Either that, or it's "me" time.

Nope, not gonna mention this to the kitten.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Outdoor recreaction: smoke break.

ViciousKitty said...

If you're outdoor recreation consists of smoke breaks, youo must be overweight.

Try running.

ViciousKitty said...

Not Brisk said...
Who made that comment?


Oh, so THAT's what that post about the Brisk intellectuals is about.
Now I get it. Should've read the comments there.

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