RABBI BOYARSKI AND STRANGE MENTAL ASSOCIATIO​NS

Third installment in a series written for Felix and Adam. It is late, and I am slightly beyond reason at this point.

I had been deep in conversation with a pipe smoker wearing a kilt when the chicken man walked into the tobacco store. Within mere moments I could feel my eye-lids grow heavy, as a bone-crushing ennui gripped me. The chicken man has that effect. He was trying to tell me a lange eingewikkelte meise about a relative who passed away while simultaneously referring to an English scholar of chassidismus.
As well as a chabadnik, whose connection with the foregoing escaped me.
Four months previously the conversation involved a masechte nobody ever reads, and kabalah.
Those of you who know him, know the effect.

[Kilt: an eccentric Keltic garment, both très geshmak and butch. Lange eingewikkelte meise: a long complicated story. Lang, lange: long. Eingewikkelte: tzerdraite. Meise: a story, a narrative example. Chassidismus: a version of Judaism from Eastern Europe that stresses faith, joy, and sincerity over scholarship and rigour. It provided an alternative to the intelektiwelische drang of the famous Yeshivos, and was consequently much opposed by the brilliant lights of Lithuanian Judaism, and especially by academies such as Volozhin, Slobodka, Ponevetch, and Mir. At the beginning, the contra-Chassidics were identified with the Gaon of Vilna (Eliyahu ben Shlomo Zalman Kramer), today it is perhaps best to think of Soloveitchik and Brisk as holding such simplicity at bay. Chabad: the Lubavitcher Chassidim, who among other things give much credence to a book that I find impossible to read without fury (Tanya, more commonly known as Likutei Amarim, by Rabbi Shneuer Zalman), but whose many shluchim do much good, even among the Gentiles. Masechte: a tractate of Talmud. One cannot really study Talmud without also going through the Shulchan Aruch ('the well-arranged table', by Yosef Karo) and without having at least a passing familiarity with the Arba Turim of Yakov ben Asher. Kabalah: sheer nonsense, and consequently popular among celebrities.]


The only thing that helps is a massive injection of cortisone, or ingestion of something rich and sweet.
Neither was available. The tobacconist that serves tasty cups of crème caramel, bread pudding, or sweet noodle kugel doesn't exist yet.
And I wouldn't trust any of those people to rip off my shirt and slam a long needle directly through my sternum.

Tzimmes, or noodle kugel? That is the question.
The first does not seem particularly appetizing, even if it is sweet. It requires the company of a plate of brisket, and some fairly mediocre wine.
Whereas a refined pipe smoker like myself would be more inclined towards a dry sherry, and a book about something obscure.

Imagine then, a serving of Kugel, the sherry, a volume of dikdukei soferim, or maybe a Tikkun.


JERUSALEM KUGEL

Half a pound fine or medium noodles.
Half a cup sugar.
Quarter cup oil.
One teaspoon ground pepper.
Quarter teaspoon salt.
Three eggs, slightly beaten.

Preheat your oven at 350 degrees.
Cook the noodles till tender in a large pot of salted water. Drain and cool.
Heat the oil and carefully add the half of the sugar. When the sugar turns colour (caramelizes), remove from heat and stir to keep it from burning, then promptly add the noodles, remaining sugar, salt, and pepper, and mix together. When it is cold enough, mix in the eggs. Gloop it all into a greased pyrex dish, and place it in the oven for an hour or so, till gilded and crisped on top.

The amount of pepper can be increased. Raisins can be added but are not orthodox. Note that perfect caramel is a beautiful ruddy hue, whereas anything noticeably darker verges on burnt. Let it sit for while before serving.


Instead, you might prefer something a little more old-fashioned, perhaps with a bit of Amontillado, and a nice article about literary archeology.


APPLE SAUCE NOODLE KUGEL

Half a pound fine or medium noodles.
Half a cup sugar.
Two cups (1 pint) sour cream.
Two cups (16 fl.oz) applesauce.
Quarter cup raisins.
Pinches cinnamon, dry ginger, ground cardamom, salt.
4 eggs, slightly beaten.
Butter.

Cook the noodles till tender in a large pot of salted water. Drain and cool.
Mix all ingredients together. Gloop it all into a greased pyrex dish. Dot with butter.
place it in the oven for an hour or so.
Three hundred and fifty degrees.


You could also read The Lonely Man of Faith, by Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik while pensively eating your kugeln.
Which is highly recommended.


In any case, either of these kiglech, with or without the sherry, should inculcate a nice Litvishe attitude - more than sufficient to counter the absurd amateurish baalshemism of the chicken man, and in keeping with the spare persevering scholarship of both Rabbi Shmuel Shlomo Boyarksi and Rabbi Mordechai Breuer, who were mentioned in the previous post.
The kugel yerushalmi would probably have even been something that both men had tasted numerous times.

The wine, not so much.

While not yayin nesech, it is stam yainom, and hence something with which neither of those gentlemen would have had much truck.
Rav Breuer because he was a sincere and erliche mentsh, rav Boyarski because as a sofer he had to adhere rigorously to the full set of rules that dictate a clean and trustworthy life. Both were choshuve leite, a chezkas kashrus pre-empts their consuming such a product.
I myself, as mamesh a gontseh goy, have a chezkas of lo kashrus entirely when it comes to food and drink.
As you might have noticed from some of my other food posts.
Though not so much an epicurean as an apikoros.

[Yayin nesech: wine that has been poured for an idol (such as arguably communion wine may be), as was common among the heathens. Stam Yainom: wine handled or made by an idolator or someone who holds by idolatry. Erliche: honest, and by extension upright, sincere, and reliable. Mentsh: human being, but more usually person in the most positive sense. Sofer: a scribe, more specifically a scribe producing religious texts, whose personal conduct, sincerity, and adherence to the rules has to be beyond reproach, in order that the products of his hand can be considered kosher. Choshuve: proper and reliable, respectable. Leite: people. Chezkas Kashrus: one of my favourite concepts, being that there is a presumption of correctness and reliability to a person, organization, or thing, based on what is known. Such as, for instance, the talmid muvak of a respected rabbi might have, or a pipe manufactured by Dunhill prior to the eighties (examine the date marking on the bottom of the shank). Mamesh: a gevaldike virt that serves to emphasize - certainly, completely, entirely, all together, how can you possibly doubt what I say? Gontseh: another gevaldikeit, meaning entirely, all of. Goy: nation, but also a masculine Gentile. Lo: no, not, none. Apikoros: better than a shaigetz, if married to your daughter. But still not quite our kind dearie.]


FINAL NOTE: there is no real connection between a kugel (or kigl) and either gentleman named above. But ever since Rabbi Boyarski was mentioned, I have had Yerushalmi kugel on my mind. A bee in the bonnet, if you will.
No, I cannot explain that. Perhaps it's because it is quintessentially Ashkenazi, perhaps the place name connection.
But perhaps this Thanksgiving you should prepare a kugel as one of the dishes?
It would be far better than that weird candied yam muck.
A bit of ginger is an excellent addition.
Good for your digestion.
Takeh.


[Boyarski: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.]

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KNISH

There you were, innocent man, wandering down the street, when you smelled it. Hot fat! And a faint touch of....
Oy!
An echte yetser you have? Good! Let us deal with that.


Azoy:


THE KNISH

Dough:
Two cups plain flour.
Quarter cup water.
Two to four Tbs cooking oil or schmaltz.
Two eggs.
A pinch of salt.

In a steel bowl klop and klots di eyer with the oil and the water. Mix in the flour, adding more as needed and knead till you have a smooth dough, just barely tacky. Do not overwork the dough! You don’t want a tough crust.
Ball it, cover, and let it rest for about half an hour.

Filling:
One cup coarse mashed potatoes.
One onion, chopped.
One Tablespoon cooking oil.
Plenty of salt and pepper.
Chopped parsley.

In a frypan sauté the onion golden.
Mix the potato-mash, gilded onion, parsley, salt and pepper together. Adjust taste. A pinch nutmeg is good to add, but isn’t customary.

On a greased or floured surface roll out dough to a rectangle about ten by twenty inches, cut in half lengthwise, then cut each length of dough across into four.

Place a portion of the filling on each square, flatten it, and fold each square of dough over, taking the corners and pulling them over the filling to join in the center. A bit of whapping and tweaking to get nice square shapes is all it takes, if there’s a little dough flapping extra per knish, trim it with a paring knife. Or simply do as if making apple turnovers – who says you have to be perfect? Brush a little butter on top.
Bake thirty to forty minutes in the oven at 375 degrees (preheated) till nice.

[NOTE: 01/26/2009 - 'Rabid Political Feline' (a pseudonym!) followed the recipe over the weekend. And reports that the crust, well, meh. Alas. Meh. Filling nice, but crust.... meh. Well, I usually add more grease to the dough, reversing the proportions of water and grease (olive oil, animal fat, and butter mixed). But then, I LIKE IT GREASY (and I do not keep kosher). The effect, especially if using butter instead, is rather like a southern pie crust. Which, of course, is heretical. At the very least im gontzem apikorsish to da max. It is also a good idea to finish them by frying. Did I mention that I like greasy? It's probably heresy to mention that I eat mine with a dollop of chili-paste on the side........ ]


But, you could just go to Yonah Schimmel’s…..

That too is emmes a tayneg.

KVETCHING MEANS FOOD - WHO KNEW?

In 1978, when I returned to the US after sixteen years in the Netherlands, I felt lost. I had left the US as a two-year old, and was not so much coming back, as coming for the first time as a sentient being. There was consequently almost nothing familiar about this country to me at that time.

An infant does not remember much, and, particularly, does not remember food.
An eighteen year old, on the other hand, is keenly food-conscious, and will agonize over civilized edibles not being readily available. The absence of familiar food makes the sense of exile so much more plangent.

I had not developed a taste for American food while living in the Netherlands - My mother's cooking was based on student boardinghouse and military styles of food, my dad and I hid jars of Indonesian hot sauce and spicy condiments to jazz up dinner (read here: "make dinner palatable"), and all three of us males (my father, my brother, and myself) would smuggle raw herring and smoked eel into the house when she was not looking.


There is no raw herring or smoked eel in this country. Have you noticed?


I kvetched about food in letters to many people that first year - and at one point received a snarky response from Levi K.. He wrote that he could well understand my despair, surely I pined for the dishes I was accustomed to, he sympathized, and hoped that the enclosed recipes for home-cooking would make my life easier.

His cooking was by no means native Dutch, and not entirely familiar.



D'JAJ YAHUDI, D'JAJ M'ZBIB
[Poulet a la Juif; stewed chicken with raisins.]

One pullet of about two pounds, skinned and cut up into large pieces.
Two large onions.
Half a cup raisins, rinsed.
Half a TBS ground coriander.
Quarter Tsp. each: ground pepper, cinnamon powder, dry ginger.
Generous pinches mace, cayenne, turmeric, salt, and sugar.
Smaller pinches oregano, thyme, rosemary.
Two cups chicken stock.
The juice of one lemon.
Sherry.
Bay leaves.
Olive oil.

Chop the onions, fry golden them in a little olive oil, and remove to a plate.
Fry the chicken pieces till gilded, add the coriander, cayenne, and turmeric. Continue frying while stirring till material starts sticking to the bottom of the pan. Add onions and raisins, stir briefly, and deglaze with a splash sherry. Now add all else, and simmer for half an hour, stirring occasionally.



SALATAT M'KHUDRA
[Green salad.]

Two cucumbers, three or four Roma tomatoes, and a scallion or two.
One bunch of parsley.
One clove garlic.
Some basil leaves.
Six TBS olive oil, One and half TBS vinegar, One and a half TBS lemon juice.
Pinches salt, pepper, cumin, crumbled oregano, thyme, rosemary, sugar.

Peel and chop the cucumber, chunk the tomatoes. Mince the scallion and basil leaves, chop the parsley semi-fine.
Mash the garlic clove with the various pinches. Add the oil, vinegar, and lemon juice. Whisk briskly to combine and emulsify. Let it stand till needed, whereupon re-whisk, and toss the dressing and salad ingredients all together to serve.



SALATAT BANEDURA
[Tomato salad.]

Half a dozen Roma tomatoes, chunk cut.
Half a cup coarsely crumbled feta cheese.
Four TBS chopped parsley.
A minced scallion.
Some minced basil leaves.
Pinches salt, pepper, cumin, crumbled oregano, thyme, rosemary, sugar.
A squeeze of lemon, a sploodge of olive oil.

Toss everything together to serve.



TURSHI KARNABIT
[Cauliflower brine-pickles.]

One large cauliflower, broken into florets.
Four or five carrots, scraped and coined.
Four cups water.
One cup vinegar.
Quarter cup salt.
One tsp sugar.
One tsp coriander seeds.
Half a tsp peppercorns.
Quarter tsp cumin seeds.
A few dry chilies, some bay leaves, two or three cloves garlic.

Shake water, vinegar, salt, sugar, and spices together till the salt and sugar are dissolved.
Blanch the cauliflower in boiling salt water into which you have squeezed a lemon. Remove and drain, do not allow to cook.
Whack the garlic with the flat of a cleaver, put in a roomy sterilized jar along with the chilies and bay leaves. Place the cauliflower and carrot on top of this, and pour the brine over. Let stand a few days, agitating occasionally, before serving the pickle.

Note that the same brine recipe also works for roasted peppers (filfil), chopped string beans (fasuliya), or chunked zucchini (kusa).



SHURBAT BATATA
[Potato soup.]

Two potatoes, peeled and cut into small chunks.
Half a dozen Roma tomatoes, peeled and seeded, chopped.
Four shallots, minced.
Two cloves garlic, minced.
A generous handful of chopped parsley.
A few minced basil leaves.
Generous pinches of ground coriander, paprika, salt, and pepper.
Miserly pinches cumin, turmeric, cayenne, dry ginger.
A little crumbled oregano, thyme, rosemary.
Four cups chicken stock.
A splash of sherry.
Juice of one lemon.
Olive oil.

Sauté the shallots till softened in plenty of olive oil. Add the garlic, gild lightly, add the tomatoes and stir to break up. Add all liquids and spices (but not the fresh herbs), bring to a boil, simmer a few minutes. Add the potato chunks, and simmer for twelve to fifteen minutes more. Put the fresh herbs into the soup a few minutes before serving.



MUHALLABIYA
[Pudding.]

Two cups milk.
Quarter cup sugar.
Two TBS cornstarch.
Two Tsp. rice flour.
Dash of rosewater.
Drop or two of almond essence.

Carefully blend the cornstarch and rice flour with a little of the milk, rendering a smooth pourable sludge.
Heat the rest of the milk with the sugar, stirring till the sugar is dissolved. Add some of the warm milk to the starch sludge, then add the sludge to the warm milk. Cook, stirring, till the pudding thickens. Now add the rosewater and the almond essence. Chill ere serving. Garnish with plenty of crumbled pistachio.


More to follow in another post - it is almost Friday evening, and I must get home.

YOU COOK LIKE A WHITE MAN!

Apparently I cook dhansak like it was cholent, or sumpin'!
A person whom I shall identify by the nickname Bawi wrote about dhansak recipes in general: "Just so you all understand - every single one of these recipes stinks. The method is wrong, and there is no ginger=garlic paste in a truly authentic Parsi Dhansak. All the recipes in Indian cookery books are written by pretenders."
[True enough - a lovely cookbook by a female author whom I shall not name has a dhansak recipe listing the weirdest substitution for dhansak masala. And some cookbooks written for Englishmen add pineapple chunks, apples, or potato. ]


This was in follow-up to the recipe here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2008/06/dhansak-or-this-is-why-you-should-never.html and the comments appended thereto, plus an e-mail discussion among several of us.

Bawi is a Parsi. I am not. Her words must outweigh mine on this issue.


So, for comparison's sake, I present the recipe that she uses.


BAWI'S MOM'S DHANSAK

Masala - grind to a fine paste:
One teaspoon Methi (Fenugreek) seeds
Half teaspoon Cumin seeds
4 Cloves
2 Cardamoms (green)
Half inch stick cinnamon
Six to seven dry red chilies (more like chile d'arbol than other)
One clove garlic

One and a half to two teaspoons dhana-jeera masala (add when frying paste)

Dal:
One and a half cups toovar dal
One onion, halved or quartered
Two and a half cups cubed red pumpkin
One eggplant (med - small) - no seeds if possible
One tomato
Half cup cilantro (not chopped)
Three to four sprigs mint (must!)
Four to five green chilies
Salt

Boil all vegetables and dal together until dal is done. Put dal and vegetables through sieve. Heat oil and fry ground masala paste. Add dhana-jeera masala and fry on low heat till done (clarification: the fragrance has changed and the oil has come out). Add dal and bring to boil. Simmer a while longer - about 15 to 20 minutes.

Serve with brown rice (she means Parsi style rice - gilded with some onion and sugar).

Note that there is no meat in this recipe - it is just the lentil gravy. Many cook it with meat (NOT chased through the sieve), and some prefer chicken over mutton, for reasons that are entirely their own. I would add about a pound of mutton, goat, or lamb, in chunks, to this quantity of dal. Browned in onion and spices first.

[Refer back to my recipe for the meat.]

The main difference is that whereas I, cholent-like, leave the vegetables in distinct chunks and the dal slightly textural, she insists that vegetables and dal should be chased through a sieve to yield a smooth puree.
[Hence leaving the cilantro as whole sprigs - it will stay behind in the sieve and not make the finished puree spotty.]
To her, dhansak is meat in thick dal gravy (with the pumpkin and brinjal smoothly incorporated in the gravy). No problem. That works for me too.

Another major difference between her recipe and mine is the absence in her recipe of any souring agent. Nor is there any gol-mirch or tej patta, and here I must somewhat differ of opinion with her, as I consider tej patta an essential (though minor) component, along with a spot of imli.

Where we absolutely come together, with no reservations, is her insistence that there should be ambakalio on the side (she insisted, I looked it up, and it sounds delish).


AMBAKALIO

One pound small green mangoes (or in any case, NOT squishy ripe mangoes)
Half a pound jaggery (palm sugar in big chunks)
A fragment of stick cinnamon
Chopped onion (about a quarter to a half) optional (some recipes leave it out, as would I also).
A green cardamom or two, a whole clove or two.
Water - two to four tablespoons.


Break jaggery apart, put in an enamel saucepan with water, the cardamom, and the cloves. Plus the onion, if despite my better judgment you decided to use it. Cook till the jaggery is dissolved.

Peel, cut, and de-seed the mangoes. Note that very nicely green mangoes will have a tender seed and the flesh will not have become all fibrous around it. Nor will juice and pulp cascade over your hands at this stage of unripeness, and the flesh is firm and fragrant, albeit pleasingly tart.

Add the sliced mango to the jaggery water, and simmer till the mango has softened and the liquid has become stroppy. Serve with the dhansak.

Note re dhana-jeera masala mentioned in the dhansak recipe: I believe this would be roasted and ground coriander and cumin, in the proportions that are fairly standard in almost all cuisines that use these spices in combination: two parts coriander, one part cumin.

Jaggery is palm sugar, rarely coarse molasses (cane) sugar. Somewhat over a cup should do it.

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I posted about cholent (tsholnt) sometime last year. For your convenience, here's the recipe again:


CHOLENT
[Genig tshernt for sechs oder acht mentshen.]

Three quarters of a cup white beans (navy).
Three quarters of a cup red beans (kidney).
Half a cup pearl barley.
One and half pounds brisket or beef shortribs, attacked with a cleaver.
One and a half pounds potatoes, cut into large chunks.
One large onion, or two small - large chunks.
One large tomato, or two small, chopped.
Three to five cloves garlic, chopped.
One and a half TBS paprika.
Two or three bayleaves.
Salt, pepper, sugar, splash of sherry, jigger of Louisiana hotsauce.
Pinches ground cumin, turmeric, and dry ginger.
Olive oil.
Vinegar, to dash if wished.
Six or eight hardboiled eggs, rolled to crack the shells.

[Bonenkruid (Satureiea Hortensis, or Summer Savoury), if you have it in your larder, is an excellent addition - a sprig or goodly pinch added to the pot of beans has a salutary effect. Add it to all bean dishes.]


Soak beans overnight. Cast out the soaking water, and remove any grit or stones. Place in a large enamel stewpot with enough water to cover by an inch. Heat up the oil in a skillet, gild the onion and garlic, remove to the bean pot. Set the skillet aside for use in another hour or so for the meat. Bring the beans and onion to a boil, turn low, simmer for about three hours.

Salt and pepper the meat, and sprinkle just a pinch of sugar over, to facilitate browning. Put the meat in the skillet, brown a bit, stir in paprika and seethe with sherry before it burns, then transfer this also into the bean pot and scrape in the pan-crunchies after the beans have already simmered for about three hours. Add the pearl barley and everything else, burying the eggs and potatoes in the beans. Add a dash of vinegar also, and simmer on a backburner for an hour longer. Judge the liquid level and adjust (probably not necessary), then cover the pot and place it on the blech till Saturday afternoon, when you will serve it.

According to Resh Lakish, you have an extra degree of soul on the sabbath. For that extra soul's sake, please swallow some beano before eating.

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Final rather silly note: If you combine the dhansak and cholent recipes, are you cooking for Parshews?

APPLE SAUCE NOODLE KUGEL

Did you know that petite Cantonese women love men who can cook?
It's useful information, and you might want to ponder it for a while.
It explains a lot.


In the meantime, while you are pondering, here's a recipe for

The Apple Sauce Noodle Kugel Of The Chivying Of The VLKH
[Hereinafter possibly simply referred to as 'Apple Sauce Noodle Kugel, or APSNOOK for short.]

8 oz. broad noodles.
4 eggs, slightly beaten.
Half a cup sugar.
Two cups (1 pint) sour cream*.
Two cups (16 fl.oz) applesauce.
Quarter cup raisins.
Cinnamon, Salt, Butter.Cook and drain noodles. Mix all ingredients together. Dot with butter in greased 8x8-inch baking dish. Bake at 350 F for 60 minutes.

[*Or substitute Tofutti pareve sour cream.]



The recipe comes from OJ, who placed it into the comment-string on this post:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/10/eliezer-and-318-men.html
From this blog:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/


When I made it Monday evening I added some powdered ginger and a little ground cardamom and mace - the next time I make it I will probably try adding a little grated lemon zest, and increase the raisins.
I klitsed the eggs, apple sauce, smetana, raisins, and sugar together before adding the noodles, as I did not want the residual heat to start setting the eggs.
[Can't remember why I thought that was the thing to do - meh, neurosis. A bee.]

It is simple and very good. Savage Kitten likes it for breakfast, I like it for late night snack. There is nearly none left.

--------------------------------------------

NOTES:
1. VLKH stands for 'Vaad Lmaan Kovod Hatorah', also referred to in that comment string as Vaad ha-etcetera and several other things. Mister Vaad seems to have a bee in his bonnet about the bear, and quite probably Star Trek paraphernalia up his beis. Which is appalling! Everyone knows that Star Trek is mamesh kofrus gamur and davka avodah zara.
Lord Of The Rings, on the other hand......
2. Eliezer's posse kinda lost it while chivying the vaad ha-imagination mercilessly in that comment string. Both Eliezer's posse AND the vaad ha leitzonus apologize for their loss of self control. We promise it will happen again.
3. No one should own Star Trek crap. NO ONE! But a Hellboy action-figure on the same shelf as Bredero's Spaanschen Brabander and The Embarassment of Riches by Simon Schama is okay.
Everone should have one.

HEATHEN! HEATHEN! HEATHEN! AND BALLS!

Tzipporah (http://www.midianitemanna.blogspot.com/) has a posting about gefilte fish. In it, she advocates usage of certain good ingredients, and makes some worthwhile suggestions.
[See here: http://midianitemanna.blogspot.com/2007/04/good-gefilte-fish.html]


Alert readers (meaning people who don't need three double-shot espressos to read my blog) will remember that a while back I posted something about gefilte fish myself.
[See here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/08/as-american-as-gefilte-fish.html]


When making REAL gefilte fish, I will incorporate both Tzipporah's and Robbie's great aunt Sarah's approaches - all recipes are meant to be modified, and a written recipe is simply a road-map. It is perfectly okay to head off the beaten track into the bracken to smell the salmon-flavoured butterflies.


But I will now also confess to a completely heathen practice - I buy the bottles of gefilte fish in jellied broth.

There is nothing like them.

They are perfect for fish ball curry.

All that is needed to jack 'em up a bit are chilies, coconut milk, coriander, galangal, ginger, lemongrass, and turmeric. Plus cilantro and parsley.


The basic approach is to take the rice noodles and rinse them under cold water. Then place them in boiling water to cook. Meanwhile, haul the bottle of gefilte fish in jellied broth out of the fridge, remove one or two balls and their broth, and place them in a second sauce pan with the addition of half a cup of coconut milk (one can is about a cup and a half - if you are not going to use the remainder soon, which I can hardly imagine, store the can in the deepfreeze), a cup of water, plus a few slices of ginger, a stalk of lemon grass that you have whacked to bruise, plus the chilies and the spices.

I give no proportions for the chilies - you yourself know how much you need.

As regards spices, twice as much ground coriander as turmeric. And maybe as much dried galangal as turmeric. Or slightly more. Plus a pinch of cinnamon, or even mace. Do not overdo the spices, because you want the fresh ingredients (chilies, ginger and lemon grass) to dominate.
[It is just as valid to simply add a bit of a Thai curry paste (whichever kind of curry paste you prefer - it's going into your mouth, so you decide).]

Simmer the fish balls briefly. The rice noodles, when done, drained, and rinsed, are added to provide bulk, starch, and a textural contrast. Add some chopped cucumber, and squeeze a lime over. Garnish extremely liberally with cilantro and parsley.
[Use an excessive amount of cilantro and parsley - it is the vegetable in this dish, and very good for the digestion.]

Now go sit in front of the teevee and happily scarf it down while watching John Stewart read the news.

If you have timed it right, you can even make yourself a cup of strong cardamom tea before the show starts.

SMELLING LIKE A SOUTH EAST ASIAN SLUM: PETIS, TRASI, BULATJONG

I just realized that hardly any part of my life is compatible with kosher for Peysach.

I mean, I would have to get rid of almost my entire pantry.
A Dutch-American who cooks Asian food has nearly nothing which is not either chametz OR kitnios.

Soy sauce? Rice-wine? The weird Japanese pancake mix which Savage Kitten likes? Her huge bin of Texas double A, or my bin of Thai jasmine longrain? The regular glutinous, or the expensive pudding rice? Basmati?

Nix on all that.

My collection of hot sauces? Well, they weren't made with apple or grape vinegar..... and some of them wouldn't even be kosher le rest-of-the-year, let alone kosher le-Peysach. Reason being that they contain petis, trasi, or bulatjong.

If you have never even heard of petis, trasi, or bulatjong, trust me - there is no way that commercial versions can be considered kosher. Ever. No one has invented a vegetarian version either. There is no substitute.



GO FISH

But YOU could make them at home, using only fish that have snaper ve kaskeses.

[And by kaskeses are not meant kaskeses which are embedded like those of reptiles or small buggy things, but clearly visible kaskeses which can be easily scroped off with a knife, the test being that one can be pulled off without ripping or damaging the skin. This per both the Rambam and the Rema.]

[Note: If your fish vendor has skinned the fish, there is no way to ascertain that it was kosher. Just one more reason you shouldn't buy those factory processed fish-like products. Even if the sales person tells you what it was before it was rendered generic, is there a chezkas kashrus? Would someone who is not shomer mitzvos actually be knowledgeable enough, or vested enough, to be an accurate source of information in this matter? Fish nomenclature and fishwives are both notoriously haphazard. Salmon, however, has a unique appearance to the flesh, which according to some poskim is a siman muvhak, and hence a heter. ]



PETIS

Use only the very freshest of fish, and move to a warm climate. Use no more than three times the amount of fish by weight as sea salt, no less than twice the amount of fish to salt. In a clean vessel (a barrel or earthenware tun) strew salt, layer cleaned and gutted fish, strew more salt, and repeat till all the fish and salt is used up. Place a flat bamboo basket (a winnowing tray is perfect) or a pickle-board on top, and weigh this down with rocks like you would sauerkraut. This prevents the fish from floating when the liquid has been released by the salt. Cover with a cloth to keep out the flying shrotzim.

After the first week or two, uncover the container and expose to direct sunlight for several hours. This furthers the fermentation process, and will eventually yield a fish-sauce which is a lovely reddish amber, clear, and fragrant. It will take at least a year to produce a superior fish-sauce, but for best results, figure on nearly two years. Strain and bottle.
The sludgy refuse can be diluted with salt water for second round of fermenting, the result of which can be sold as inferior fish sauce.

Decent fish-sauce will keep for a very long time. About six kilos of fish will give one litre of superior fish-sauce. Really excellent fish-sauce will look like single malt, Irish, or bourbon, and have a depth of flavour, whereas mediocre fish sauce wil be dark, salty, fishy, and Philippino.

[Many commercial fish sauces are mixtures of long fermented top level superior sauces and various shorter ferments and second-round ferments. With or without the further addition of extenders, odd grain products, and salt. ]


In addition to having moved to a warm climate, it will be helpful if you do not have picky neighbors living too close by.
I believe that most of New York and New Jersey do not qualify on either score.



TRASI

Use tiny fish, or mince larger fish to a uniform granular texture. Mix in one and a half cups of sea salt to each kilo of fish. Press this into a jar overnight. The next day, spread the fish thinly on a bamboo mat and dry in strong sunlight. Take it in at night and store it in the jar. Spread it out again the next day. Repeat the spreading and storing until the result is dense and purply and the fish material has broken down, which takes about five days or so, or keep repeating untill it has become stiff and clay-like. After the first three days or so, you may grind the fish for uniformity. This also speeds up the drying process, and will yield a superior paste. A well made stiff paste will be a deep brown, and be easily pressed into a brick shape. If dried until it is crumbly, it will keep a very long time. Indonesians call it trasi, Malaysians call it belachan. A wetter version is available in Philippino stores, know as bago'ong.



BULATJONG

This is made by mixing vegetable matter and fishy stuff together with enough salt to promote pickling. It is closely related to both petis and trasi, and also to a somewhat explosive mixture made by Malaysian and Singaporean Chinese. Think of it as a table-condiment. You can also simply use regular fish or shrimp paste as the basis, much like South-East Asian Portugese do - about two thirds fish paste, with tomatoes, fresh ginger, chilies, garlic, and vinegar added. For each cup of non-fish paste substances add a generous tablespoonfull of salt, and let it stand a few days before use.


Note that for all of the products described above, shrimp are considered the best fundament. And shrimp are not kosher. But I have been told that small firm fish that are not too high in fat can very well be used instead. I firmly encourage your experimentation.

Some of the cheaper commercial versions use flour and wheat products in addition to fish-ferments. And related thereto, please be aware that most soy sauces contain wheat (and are therefore also posul for Sfardim during Peysach, in addition to being off-limits to kitniophobics).

Petis is used condimentally as a table sauce, trasi is used for cooking (indispensable in South-East Asian and Southern Chinese food) or cooked into condiment mixtures, and bulatjong is eaten much like a table pickle or relish. You can also purchase pre-roasted trasi which can be ground into curry-pastes or crumbled into stews, if you do not wish your kitchen to reek like a low class flop house just off Mabini or Del Pilar.


All these products should be used sparingly. A tablespoon or two of petis with an equivalent amount of fresh lime juice or vinegar, with some sliced chili and garlic, makes a lovely dip.

---------------------------------------

Related hereto, a meise shehoyo:

Before he moved to Telegraph Hill, the bookseller and I would walk part-way home together late at night after leaving Mike's or Candy's. One night in 1993 I boasted about finding a bottle of chinchaloc (fish pickle). One thing lead to another, and we decided to open that bottle. Sniff and sample. Consider it the spirit of discovery if you will.
I had barely touched the bottle opener to the crown when the top blew off, and a geyser of putrid muck sprayed the kitchen counter, the window, and both of us.

Our spirit of discovery was satisfied, and neither of us even tasted the fish pickle. I have never bought another bottle.

Months later I was still finding little dried shrimp eyeballs stuck in the weirdest places.

I never found the top of the bottle - I think it went straight out the open window into the airwell, shot like a bottle rocket by the pressure that had built up.

Long warehoused chinchaloc is more unstable than even cheap Philippino fish-sauce. Those bottles are potential bombs. If you've ever wondered at the rich aroma in South-East Asian Chinese stores, wonder no more.

If you plan to make your own, get the bottles and crowns at a home-brew supply house.

INGELEGDE VIS (STEEPED FISH)

Follow several recipes for 'ingelegde vis', which probably do not resemble the Jewish dish brought to the Netherlands centuries ago, being nowadays a rather old-fashioned first course among old-fashioned gentiles.


Note that several of the recipes mention both a measure of olive oil, and 'oil for frying the fish'. One should not use pure olive oil for frying fish - it cannot stand the necessary temperature, and tends to break down or smoke heavily. But one may add a few drops of olive oil to canola or similar oils for flavour.
For regular purposes, however, it is good to use a fine quality virgin olive oil. It really does taste better. But if one cannot use olive oil, use less oil - olive oil is easily digested, other oils can angrify the stomach.

The kinds of fish which are appropriate are those with firm flesh and strong flavour. The following are good: Halibut, Cod, Shark, Salmon, Red Snapper, Snook. But even trout can be used.

The last dish is an anomaly, being a dish from a part of Indonesia where the Portuguese maintained their influence even after the Dutch came in. It is very good. But the flavours might startle some people more than the other dishes would.


Your feed back will of course be keenly appreciated.



1. INGELEGDE VIS OP ZUID AFRIKAANSCHE WYZE
[STEEPED FISH IN THE SOUTH AFRICAN FASHION]

Two pounds firm fish, large chunks
One cup vinegar
Half cup water
Quarter cup olive oil
Quarter cup lemon juice
Quarter cup sugar
Three large onions, sliced
One lemon, sliced
1 Tsp whole peppercorns
1 Tsp salt
2 Tsp ground coriander
1 Tsp ground cumin
1/2 Tsp turmeric
1/4 Tsp dry ginger
1/4 Tsp cayenne


Salt the fish chunks, and quick-fry till opaque in a well-oiled pan. Remove and set aside.
Wipe the pan, and fry the sliced onions till they turn golden. Add the liquids and the spices, raise to boil, turn low and simmer for about five minutes. Turn off heat, let cool to warm.

Arrange the fish chunks and sliced lemon in a non-reactive vessel, and pour sauce over. Cover, and let stand half a day in the refrigerator. Garnish with parsley, and serve with crusty bread.

-----------------------------------------


2. INGELEGDE VIS OP MANIER VAN DE JOODSCHE AMSTERDAMMERS - MODERNE VERSIE
[STEEPED FISH IN THE MANNER OF JEWISH AMSTERDAMMERS - MODERN VERSION]

Two pounds salmon fillets
Two cucumbers, sliced
Two carrots, coarse grated
Two shallots, sliced thin
One cup vinegar
Half a cup of water or fish stock
Quarter cup of lemon juice
Pinches of salt and pepper


Mix everything, cover, and let chill for half a day.
Heat gently to barely boiling, then let cool to room temperature.
Serve on lettuce leaves, garnished with fresh herbs.

------------------------------------------


3. INGELEGDE VIS OP MANIER VAN DE JOODSCHE AMSTERDAMMERS - VOORHENE VERSIE
[STEEPED FISH IN THE MANNER OF JEWISH AMSTERDAMMERS - FORMER VERSION]

Two pounds fish fillets
1 Cup fish stock or water
Half cup white wine
Half cup vinegar
Quarter cup sugar
Quarter cup olive oil
Two onions, sliced
Two carrots, julienned
Two sticks celery, julienned
One or two cloves of garlic, slivered
One tsp of whole peppercorns
A few bay leaves, a few cloves
Pinches of paprika, cayenne, salt
Oil for frying the fish


Salt the fish fillets, pat dry, panfry. Set aside.

Combine everything else in a non-reactive saucepan, raise to boiling, and simmer for about five minutes. Let cool to room temperature, and pour over the fish fillets. Cover and chill half a day.

----------------------------------------------


4. INGELEGDE VIS OP OUDERWETSCHE WYZE
[STEEPED FISH IN THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY]

Two pounds of fish, chunked
One large onion, sliced thin
One carrot, medallion cut
Six cloves of garlic, minced
Pinches of paprika, ground cumin, salt, pepper
Three quarters of a cup each: vinegar, white wine, olive oil
Plus oil for frying the fish


Fry the fish lightly in some of the oil. Remove from the pan, and fry the onion, adding the remainder of the oil. When the onion has turned golden, add the garlic. When the garlic starts to gild at the edges, add the liquids, carrot, and spices to the pot and raise to a boil. Turn low, and simmer for ten minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.

In a non-reactive dish, layer the fish chunks and the onions from the marinade, then pour the marinade over, cover, and let steep for 24 hrs in the refrigerator.

----------------------------------------------


5. INGELEGDE VIS OP DE MANIER VAN DE PORTUGEESCHE AMSTERDAMMERS #1.
[STEEPED FISH IN THE MANNER OF THE PORTUGUESE (SEPHARDIC) AMSTERDAMMERS #1.]

Two pounds of fish, sliced thickly
One and a half cup vinegar
One cup olive oil
Half a cup lemon juice
Half a cup white wine
One lemon, sliced
One bell pepper, sliced
One onion, sliced
Three cloves of garlic, chopped
Two Tablespoons of capers, rinsed
Generous pinches of salt and pepper
Flour, tomatoes, fresh herbs
Oil for frying the fish


Salt the sliced fish and dust with flour, shake off the excess. Fry in a little of the oil till firm. Set aside.

Gild the onion, add bell pepper when the onion is translucent, and add the garlic when the bell pepper smells fragrant. When you can smell the garlic, add the liquids, capers, salt and pepper. Simmer for ten minutes.

Layer half the fish with some of the lemon slices in a bowl, and pour some of the sauce over, making sure that sliced onion and bell pepper is on top of the fish. Layer the remaining half of the fish over this, with the remaining sliced lemon. Pour the remaining sauce over. Cover, and let rest in the refrigerator for 24 hours.

Serve with chopped tomato and fresh herbs to garnish.

------------------------------------


6. INGELEGDE VIS OP DE MANIER VAN DE PORTUGEESCHE AMSTERDAMMERS #2.
[STEEPED FISH IN THE MANNER OF THE PORTUGUESE (SEPHARDIC) AMSTERDAMMERS #2.]

Two pounds of fish, chunked
One cup each: white wine, vinegar, olive oil, pitted black olives
One each: red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, green bell pepper
Pinches of salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne


Slice the bell peppers.
Put everything except the fish in a pot and simmer for a good ten minutes. Add the fish, poach for a few seconds only, and turn off the heat. Refrigerate for twenty four hours.

------------------------------------


7. INGELEGDE VIS OP DE MANIER VAN DE ANTWERPSCHE JOODEN #1.
[FISH IN THE MANNER OF THE ANTWERP JEWS #1]

Two pounds of fish, fillets
One cup of white wine
One cup of vinegar
Half a cup of lemon juice
Half a cup of olive oil
One onion, sliced
One carrot, sliced into medallions
Two Tablespoons of sugar
Small handfuls of chopped herbs, minced fine
Generous pinches of salt, pepper, paprika, turmeric, and dry ginger
A few saffron threads
Oil for frying the fish


Salt and lightly flour the fish, and fry till barely firm. Set aside.
Put everything except fish and fresh herbs in a non-reactive pot, and simmer for about ten minutes. Let cool to warm.

Layer the fish with herbs in between the fillets in Pyrex, and pour the marinade over the fish. Cover, and chill at least half a day. Best after twenty four hours.

----------------------------------------------------


8. INGELEGDE VIS OP DE MANIER VAN DE ANTWERPSCHE JOODEN #2.
[FISH IN THE MANNER OF THE ANTWERP JEWS #2]
Two pounds of fish, fillets
One cup vinegar
Half a cup of olive oil
Half a cup of white wine
One Tablespoon of sugar
One teaspoon salt
Four or five shallots, sliced
One carrot, sliced
One stick of celery, sliced
A good squeeze of lemon juice
A hefty grind of pepper
Pinches of thyme, rosemary
Oil for frying the fish


Salt and lightly flour the fish, and fry till barely firm. Set aside.

Gild the shallots, carrot, and celery, till softened and aromatic.

Add the liquids to seethe, plus the sugar, salt, spices and herbs. Simmer for about five minutes, let cool a bit, and pour over the fish. Cover, and chill at least half a day. Best after twenty four hours.

---------------------------------------


9. IKA SAKETO (EAST-INDONESIAN STYLE SHARP-COOKED FISH)

A fish large enough for two people, about one and a half to two pounds.
One onion, sliced thinly.
One red and one green bell pepper, ditto.
An excessive amount of fresh ginger, cut into thin juliennes.
Half a dozen cloves of garlic, sliced.
Two or three hot peppers (Jalapeno), left intact.
One cup of fish stock.
Half cup each vinegar, sherry (or white wine).
One fresh lime, for squeezing over.
Two tablespoons sugar.
Dashes of Louisiana hot sauce and soy sauce.
A small handful of fresh cilantro (coriander leaf), for garnish.
Oil for frying the fish, and oil for gilding the onions etc.


As for the fish: gut it, clean and scale it, rinse well. Salt it inside and out (which firms up the flesh nicely), and let it drain for ten minutes. Rub with a little turmeric (no more than about half a teaspoon), and fry in a little oil till done. Set aside.

Gild the onion, bell pepper, ginger, and garlic (add the garlic to the pan later than the onion). Seethe with the liquids. Add everything except the fish and cilantro, and simmer till reduced by about half - taste to make sure it isn't too strong). Pour over the fish. It can be served at this point, but it is better to let is sit in the refrigerator for a few hours.

Garnish with the coarsely ripped cilantro, or use parsley or celery leaf if you detest cilantro (some people are perverse).


Note: Julienned bamboo shoot is a great addition. If using canned bamboo shoot, soak briefly in warm water and rinse to remove the taste of the tin. Canned bamboo shoot is already cooked - add it a few minutes before taking the sauce off the heat.


I, of course, like a dab of sambal with my fish. You might not.

DENOMINATIONAL COERCIVE BRISKET

I asked Robbie (blog: http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/) for his recipe for brisket.

Which you will find ripped off below, because I just love it when my friends write my posts for me..... Did I ever mention that I have a strong opportunistic (sounds better than lazy plagiarist, doesn't it?) streak?

If you want to know how the subject came up, or why it is a Denominational Coercive Brisket, you'll just have to read his posting here: http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2006/12/foiled-again.html

In the meantime, enjoy imagining the recipe below.

Please note two (loosely-constructed) points:
1. Cooking with Coca-Cola is not unusual. Essentially it is like cooking with any liquid that is over one-sixteenth sugar (such as one cup of sherry or rice wine with approximately a quarter cup of Ketjap Manis). Some recipes use broth and apricot preserves. Which also can, why not. The end-result is what counts. Just remember that Savage Kitten will maul you if you speak ill of Coca-Cola. Never use Pepsi.
2. This is a braised dish. Braising tenderizes tough meats marvelously, but also concentrates flavours. Long and slow is the operative concept. Letting the meat rest after cooking is also an operative concept.


Incredibly Easy Brisket
By Robbie
12/13/06

This isn't my recipe but I'll swear by it that you'll love it. Use real Coca-Cola - the drink will carmelize a little and make for love in the form of gravy. This brisket also nearly made a 10-year vegetarian start eating meat again. It's just that good!

Start with a cut of meat that could pass for brisket. Don't go too cheap or it'll be too tough. Trim off some of the fat (that's the rubbery white lumps all around the meat) and put it into a pan (I like the 9 x 13 pyrex, but be sure to wrap it in tinfoil first to simplifiy cleanup of burned-on bits).

Add one very small-diced plain old baking potato (peeled or not, no difference), about 3 small-chopped carrots and 2 large onions, chunked. Garlic's also a good addition - use the real thing and throw in a handful of peeled cloves.

Then add a packet or two (or a few shakes, if you have the big jar) of powdered onion soup mix. Spread it all around the meat and rub it in good. Then, take a two cans of Coca Cola (use Pepsi and I'll never forgive you) and pour it in to the pan.

Roast it at 350 Degrees F (or level "4" for the non-Americans) for about 3 hours, basting the meat every so often. When the meat is good and firm (about the firmness of the odd webby space between your thumb and forefinger), take it out of the oven and LET IT SIT to cool.

After it's cooled, slice it into strips and put it back in the pan to sit in the gravy until it's ready to serve. If the meat isn't done enough for you, you can put it back in for a little while to finish. If it's over done, well, that's your fault.

------------------------

Robbie also includes a recipe for Pumpkin Brownies (again, see his posting here: http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2006/12/robbies-recipes-part-1-damn-good.html), among the ingredients for which are Cinnamon, Dry Ginger, Nutmeg, and Clove.

Which is very reminiscent of both the spice-mixture used in some very nice cakes, such as lekach for Rosh Hashana if you're Amsterdam-Portugese, Honingkoek or Peperkoek if you are Flemish or Brabantine, or Spekkoek if you are an Indo. Also Gemberkoek, which is one of those things that you either know, or you don't. And speaking of which, if you are going to ramp up the spice content, be careful about cloves - they tend to dominate and dull.


Note: Robbie started off by writing about not being angst-ridden and having Jew-dar.

He had already written before, but then he started his blog (http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/) in August of 2005 (http://rjmedwed.blogspot.com/2005_08_28_rjmedwed_archive.html), which, if you want to know about screaming babies, chicken soup, covering yourself with flour (something about preparing for Shabbes..., yes, that's it - "preparing for Shabbes"), the appropriate blessing for happy pills, and people who should not be let anywhere near computers (in addition to 'not-being-angst-ridden and having ..... Jew... - ..... dar!!!) you should probably start reading right now!

Brownie points to the first person who discusses the brocho for happy pills.

GREASY EATS

For experimenters, here are four recipes.




LATKES (POTATO PANCAKES)

One and a half pounds of potato (about four regular baking potatoes), peeled.
One large onion, peeled.
Half a dozen sprigs parsley, very finely minced.
Two eggs.
Salt, pepper.
Two TBS flour (preferably potato flour, but regular will do).

Grate potatoes and onions with a quick hand, squeeze out excess moisture in a sieve or doubled cheesecloth, and mix all ingredients together.
Heat some oil in a frypan, spoon in a couple of mounds of the latke batter, and flatten with a spatula or the back of the spoon. Fry crispy on one side, turn over and do the other. Drain on papertowels on a heated plate.
Do not make the latkes too thick - they will not cook through before turning too dark.
Do not make latkes too large - they will not hold together well.
Do not use olive oil - it has too low a burning temperature.


Serve with homemade applesauce: peel and slice some crisp apples, put in an enamel pan with a dash of calvados, a squeeze of lemon, a little sugar, and a pinch of Ceylon cinnamon. Cook on low till the apples can be broken up with a fork.
Or serve with Dilled Sour Cream: mix half a cup sour cream, one tablespoon finely snipped fresh dill, a few drops lemon juice, and a pinch of salt.
Drained yoghurt can be substituted for the sour cream.
Blackstrap molasses or Dutch appel stroop (thick stroppy apple syrup) are, though odd, also good. For homemade appel stroop simmer down some concentrated apple juice (some sugar and a squeeze of lemon juice optionally added) till thick and gluggy.



BEMUELOS (BEMUELITOS, SFGANIOT, JAM FILLED FRITTERS)

Two and a half cups flour.
Three quarter cups warm milk.
Quarter cup cane sugar.
Two TBS butter (softened).
Two TBS yeast (two packages).
Two egg yolks.
Half Tsp each: Ground cinnamon, mace (or nutmeg).
Generous pinch salt.
Tangy apricot preserves for filling, oil for frying, fine granulated sugar for rolling.

Proof yeast (let the yeast re-activate and foam up) in the warm milk with the sugar dissolved therein. Knead all ingredients to an elastic dough. Cover with a damp cloth, let rest a few hours till doubled in volume, or leave it overnight in the refrigerator.
Roll the dough out as a thick rope, which then cut into two dozen pieces. Roll each piece into a ball, make a pit in each ball, and insert a teaspoon of tangy apricot preserves into each pit. Pinch-pull the dough together over the filling to seal. Cover and let rise again for half an hour in a warm place.
Fry in hot oil (375 - 400 degrees Fahrenheit) till brown, turn onto papertowels to drain, roll in fine granulated sugar (it has to have that slightly gritty mouth-feel, which is why we don't use powdered sugar) and serve warm.



OLIEBOLLEN (OIL BALLS - SUGAR DUSTED FRITTERS)
[CORRECTED VERSION 02/12/2009]

4 (four) Cups white flour.
1.75 (one and three quarters) Cups warm (scalded) milk.
3 (three) TBS Sugar.
3 (three) Eggs.
1 (one) TBS oil.
1 (one) Tsp. Salt.
1 (one) TBS active yeast.
1.5 (one point five) cups chopped raisins.
A few drops vanilla essence, a little fresh orange or lemon zest.Plus oil for deepfrying and powdered sugar for dusting.

Proof the yeast in the milk, with one tablespoon of the sugar dissolved therein. Mix all other ingredients, and add the yeasted milk gradually after it has foamed. Mix well. Cover with a damp cloth, put in a warm place, and let the batter sit two hours or more till doubled in size.
Heat the oil for frying to 375 - 400 degrees. Drop spoonfuls of the batter into the hot oil (use a second spoon to push the batter off the first). Fry golden, remove from oil when done, drain on papertowels, and dust with powdered sugar.


Note I: A teaspoon of cinnamon can be added to the batter, or to the
powdered sugar.
Note II: If the milk is too hot for you to put your finger into,
it is too hot for the yeast. Better wait a moment - you don't want to
kill the yeast, do you?
Note III: Leave plenty of space in the deep-fryer or the cauldron
- there is nothing worse than bliksems hot oil splashing up or boiling
over.
Note IV: Some folks may want to avoid lactose and or gluten.
Sorry, this recipe is not for you. Get real.


APPLE BEIGNETTES (APPELFLAPPEN - APPLE FRITTERS)

Use the same batter as above, minus the raisins. Instead, make the batter a little looser, dip sliced crisp apples in the batter, and fry golden. Dredge with powdered sugar. Serve hot.

HAMAN'S EARS

Kichelech - little fried cookies usually served for Purim, which ain't for a while, but they're good anytime. Such as in winter, when the weather gets cooler.

In Dutch these are called Kiesjeliesj or Haman's Oren (Kishelish or Haman's Ears).
How the yiddish 'EKHHGHGHGHHQRCCH! sound became the discrete Dutch 'shhhhh' is somewhat baffling, but I suspect that the Flemings had a tongue or two in this transformation.


Ingrediënten / Ingredients

300 gram bloem / Two thirds of a pound Flour (0.66 LBS).
Drie eieren / 3 Eggs.
Een theelepel zout / 1 tsp. Salt.
Olie om te bakken / Oil for deepfrying.
Poedersuiker / Powdered Sugar.
Kaneelpoeder / Ground Cinnamon.


Zeef de bloem.
Sift the flour.

Klop de eieren wolkig met 't zout, enkele druppeltjes olie, en 3 eetlepels water (in plaats van water kan men ook zoete rode wijn of een likeur gebruiken).
Beat the eggs foamy with the salt, a drop or two of oil, and three TBS water (instead of water, you could use sweet wine or liqueur).

Meng het eiermengsel door de bloem tot een kneedbare deeg - eventueel extra bloem gebruiken.
Work the eggmixture into the flour until a pliable dough results - add more flour if necessary.

Vorm een bal van het deeg, bedek de schaal met een vochtige theedoek en laat 'n uurtje in de ijskast rusten.
Form a ball from the dough, cover the bowl with a damp cloth and let rest for an hour in the refrigerator.

Bestrooi het werkvlak met een weinig bloem, en rol de bal zo dun mogelijk hierop uit.
Dust the work surface with a little flour, and roll the ball out as thin as possible here-upon.

Vouw het deeg in drieën, en rol het wedermaals dun uit.
Fold over in three layers, roll out again.

Snijd de laag deeg met een scherpe mes in ruiten.
With a sharp knife cut the dough into diamonds.

Verhit in een diepe pan een laag olie tot 180 graden.
Heat a layer of oil in a deep fry-pan to slightly more than 350 degrees.
[Note: 180 Celcius is slightly more than 350 Fahrenheit - almost smoking in American terms.]

Bak de deegruiten in de hete olie goudbruin.
Fry the dough diamonds golden in the hot oil.

Laat de Kiesjeliesj goed uitlekken.
Let the kishelish drain well.

Bestrooi ze met poedersuiker en een beetje kaneel poeder.
Strew with powdered sugar and a little cinnamon powder.

AS AMERICAN AS GEFILTE FISH

The AddeRabbi (http://adderabbi.blogspot.com/) made aliyah last week.

And this week, he writes: "The first American product that I missed was, believe it or not, gefilte fish. The Israeli stuff more resembles kishke."


Co inky dink!


While we lived in Europe, my father would sometimes wistfully mention the American foods that he longed for.

One of those things was gefilte fish. Which, my mother being an uninspired cook, it was a blessing that we did not serve. And at that time I had not become the food-slut that I am now, and so had no interest in making gefilte fish or reading about it either.

In the mid-seventies my father and I went to Brussels and Paris several times - Brussels because of the fine restaurants and wonderful drinking establishments (Belgians have no religion except eating and drinking), and Paris for a variety of reasons. Including restaurants in Le Marais, such as Goldenbergs (on the Rue Vielle Du Temple), which had chocolate cake to commit mayhem for, and a number of dishes on the menu that were, to me, unidentifiable, such as 'poisson farci'.

Which my father joyfully recognized as gefilte fish.

For him, a taste of 'home'. For me, a taste of America.

When I came to Berkeley in 1978, the gefilte fish situation was as bad as it had been in the Netherlands. So I wrote a friend, and got a recipe. Which, with almost no modifications whatsoever, I post below.

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

GEFILTE FISH


Benodigd, voor de visballen:
Required, for the fishballs:

Twee pond lichte vis, zowel zee als zoetwater vis.
Two pounds of white fish, both fresh and saltwater.

2 Kleine uien, versnipperd.
2 Small onions, minced very fine.

6 - 7 Eetlepels matzemeel.
6 to 7 Tbs. Matzameal.

4 Eieren.
4 Eggs.

1 Eetlepel suiker.
One Tbs. Sugar.

2 Theelepel zout.
2 Tsp. Salt.

2 Theelepel peper.
Two Tsp. pepper.



Voor de soep:
For the soup:

Vier pond vissenkoppen, graten, en vel.
4 Pounds fishheads, scraps, bones, skin.

1 grote peen, geschraapt en gehakt.
A large carrot, cleaned and chopped.

4 stengels selderij, gehakt.
Four stalks of celery, chopped.

2 Kleine uien, gepeld.
Two onions, peeled.



Bereidingswijze:
Preparation:

Hak de vis erg fijn. Meng er doorheen: ui, matzemeel, eieren, suiker, zout en peper.
Chop the fish finely. Mix with the minced onion, matzameal, eggs, sugar, salt, and pepper.

Plaats de vismengsel in een kom en laat in de koelkast 1 uur rusten.
Place the fishmixture in a bowl, and let it rest one hour in the fridge.

Doe alle visresten, met peen, selderij, en ui in een kastrol, giet er genoeg water bij dat alles ruwweg 5 cm onder staat. Breng aan de kook en laat 15 minuten zachtjes (niet borrelend) koken.
Place all fishscrap materials, carrot, celery and the two peeled onions in a cauldron, add enough liguid that it stand under by roughly two inches. Raise to boil and simmer (do not allow to roil) for fifteen minutes.

Met vochtige handen ovalen ballen van het vismengsel vormen.
With damp hands form oval balls of the fishmixture.

Plaats de visballen voorzichtig in de hete vloeistof, bedeksel de pan, en laat de visballen 1 uur of ietwat langer sudderen. Lang garen heeft voordelen voor zowel de smaak als de structuur van de visballen. Let op dat de visbalen helemaal bedekt blijven met vloeistof, daar ze veel vocht opnemen. Voeg indien nodig wat (heet) water toe.
Place the fishballs carefully in the hot liquid, cover with the lid, and simmer for an hour or more. Long poaching improves both the taste and the structure of the fishballs. Check to make sure the balls remain inundated - they take up rather much moisture. If necessary add some (hot) water.

Neem de visballen met een spaan uit de pan en leg ze in een soep schaal.
Remove the fishballs with a slotted spoon from the pan, and place in a tureen.

Zeef het kookvocht, en schenk het over de visballen.
Strain the kooking liquid, and pour over the fishballs.

De gefilte fish is, mits bewaard in het kookvocht, ten minste 3 dagen in de koelkast houdbaar.
Gefilte fish, submerged in cooking liquid, can be kept for at least three days in the refrigerator.

Geef er mierikswortel (chrein) bij.
Serve with horseradish.

Het gerecht mag met de gekookte peen (gesneden of gesnipperd) gegarneerd worden.
The dish may be garnished with the cooked carrot (sliced or minced).

Alzook peterselie.
As well as parsley.

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Note 1.: I first posted this recipe January 25th. on http://shabboscooking.blogspot.com/ .


Note 2.: I confess to a major perversion (and now would be the right time to run outside screaming "La la la la la la la la la la la la la la I can't HEAR you!") when it comes to this dish. Specifically, I like adding coconut milk, lemon grass, galangal, and curry paste to the soup, plus rice-stick noodles (also called river noodles).

This approach treats it like a complex Indonesian soup -- think of saoto manok (soto ayam - a chicken soup with potatoes, vegetables, herbs, flavoured with turmeric and ground coriander), sop buntot ("arse" soup - oxtail stew with tomatoes, soy sauce, and star anise - served with crusty bread), saoto kambing (soto kambing - lamb or goat bone soup with tons of parsley and coriander, with fried potato nuggets). In any case, rather than chrein, a nice hot sambal is a good idea.
And chopped cucumber to cool a blistered palate.


Note 3.: Kishke is not my cup of tea. Is it yours? Feel free to wax poetic about kishke in the comments - no really, I insist.


Salamat makan and baruch Hashem.

FAT GREEN VIRGINS

In a posting discussing the dialectic style of Professor Heilman, fellow dovbearian guest-blogger Krum as a Bagel dives into fish.

His posting is here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2006/06/heilmans-howlers.html


He writes:
"Another sign of the "slide to the right" could be seen in the Sabbath day culinary habits of members of putatively modern Orthodox synagogues. Post-services refreshments at these places of worship -- the kiddush -- which once featured sweet herrings -- either pickled or cream -- manufactured by old-time American food companies such as Vita and Season, were more and more often supplanted by the more traditional European salty herring, schmaltz, to the point where those who favored sweet herring would be derided by their co-religionists as Amerikainers, Yinglish for Stupid American. "


That's three types of herring mentioned in a posting which also mentions grampa Abe Simpson and onions.

You have my complete attention.

Unfortunately, treither of those three types of herring is, strictly speaking, edible.

Edible herring is green. Meaning so lightly cured as to be by American standards raw, by Midwestern standards unidentifiable, and by Dutch standards food for the soul.


Edible herring is a virgin.


Or as you might know it, a 'matje'.

Meaning a herring caught in mid to late summer, from Middle Dutch ‘maagdje’ (little virgin), modern Dutch demotic ‘maatje’ – in reference to their not having spawned yet. The reason matjes are prized is because in summer they will have recovered from winter (during which they do not eat) and have stored up fat, often having a fat content of over twenty percent, and are in consequence tasty and toothsome.


In the Netherlands (and to a far lesser extent Germany and Scandinavia ) the favoured treatment is removal of the gills, throat, and internal organs, with the exception of the alvlees klier (pancreas), whose enzymes will help ‘cure’ the fish. Immediately upon gutting it is lightly salted and packed in a cold place to ripen. The more salt is used, the longer it can be ripened.


According to Dutch food laws, it must be frozen (quick-freezing is best, as it keeps the flesh firm) for two days before being sold to the consumer, so as to kill the herring nematode. Hence those tasty fillets which you purchase from Van Altena’s spotlessly clean stand in front of the Rijks Museum will be completely safe – the more so because the merchant in question is well-known for the care with which he treats his fish, thawing them properly and keeping them chilled, nicely trimming and cleaning the fillets, and even chopping the onions precisely for the right flavour. Mr. Van Altena is an artist. A national treasure.


In the medine (Judeo-Dutch: the country districts), and especially further inland away from the coast, the preference is for a saltier herring – probably because in the olden days only those held up well when transported. Traditionally the herring sellers would board the trains with buckets of herring to be sold out in the hinterlands, at the consumer’s doorstep. The civilized and lightly salted delicacy we prefer in Mokum (Makom Alef: Amsterdam) would have been long spoiled by the time it was eaten under those circumstances. But with refrigeration, even the amharatzim can experience the farfeintere hoybstodlicher geshmak. Those lucky momzers.


The method used by the Dutch and Flemish for herring was discovered by Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet in 1380. Leaving the pancreas in ensures a fish which is tastier and keeps longer – in summer the pancreas produces a surfeit of enzymes which assist in the conversion of food to fat. And the fat gives the fish its divine flavour.

[Little linguistic silliness: Hebraicizing Willem Beukelszoon Van Biervliet might yield 'Ba'al ben Bikal mi Birblat'. Wow.]


Note that while Scandinaviim are fond of matjes herring, they are passionate about surstromming (herring packed in a vat with enough salt to allow fermentation, not enough to preserve it, so that it builds up a reek that can fell a mule, and the pressure might explode the vat), and lutefisk (codfish treated with lye and dried, which tastes like horsehide glue mixed with cat-litter). Both of these substances are considered delicacies and delightful. How strange.

[On shabbes, both surstromming and lutefisk are muktza machmas miyus mamesh (M4). The rest of the week their status is..... debatable.]

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Krum as a bagel can also be visited here:
http://krumasabagel.blogspot.com/
and here:
http://mavenyavin.blogspot.com/
[A shared blog - with other fine writers]


The other dovbearian guest-posterim are:

Akiva
http://mysticalpaths.blogspot.com/
And:
http://me-ander.blogspot.com/
And also here:
http://efsi.blogspot.com/
[The first and last are shared blogs, the last one very much so.]

Charlie Hall
[Internet whereabouts largely unknown]

Conservative Apikoris /CA /live "frei" or die
http://cj-heretic.blogspot.com/
[Great intro line to his blog: "Moshe goes to shul to talk to God, I go to talk to Moshe. Hi, Moshe!"]

Jameel
http://muqata.blogspot.com/

Mis-Nagid
[At present no active blog]

Nephtuli
http://primaimpressionis.blogspot.com/

Noyam
http://noyam.blogspot.com/
[Memorable quote: "That is why you are lying in a ditch on the side of the road right now and I am pinning this letter to your shirt."]

PinchasGiller
[Rumoured to be surfing off Malibu, if certain clues in the Zohar are to be believed.]

The Town Crier (TTC)
http://atowncrier.blogspot.com/


And Cousin Oliver.
[Famous man of mystery]