CALLING BRUCE!

This blog is not the only one with a certain philosphical theme running through it.
Spiros, Grant, Lev, Graham - go here:
Who is in charge of the sheep-dip?
[If you have speakers, turn them on now.]


You'll be glad you did.


The trop follows standard Western Ashkenazic minhag and pronunciation, and the poskim referenced are Conservative or Left-wing Modern Orthodox at best -- hardly the kind of people that the shtrenge haredisten of Lakewood would call rabbonim. Blasted Calvinists!


Note: the link is to a post on a friend's blog:
Waarheid gezocht, vreemds gevonden
If you do not visit that blog frequently, you should. It is good for your mental health.

RUN-AWAY TRAIN

Something e-kvetcher said set off a train of mental associations. This post is dedicated to him in consequence, and you may blame him of you wish.


CHOLENT

One of the things which many people eat with "affection" on shabbes afternoon is cholent (tsholnt: chaud-lent; mediaeval French: slow heat), which is a compound of meat, vegetables, and lentils similar to both Parsi Dhansak and industrial strength spackle, and just as dangerous. According to reliable reports, cholent may contribute to heart disease, arterial sclerosis, obesity, erectile dysfunction, and depression, and may actually have caused the premature demise of more Jews than anything else in history.

It is prepared by placing the filled casserole in a dying oven on Friday before shkiya, so as to be ready to eat on Saturday around midday. But perhaps you should try beid b’hamam instead? Or even some tasty Cassoulet?


Per a discussion in meseches Kilayim (vessels), cholent is quite similar to what Yakov fed Esav, as described in Sefer Bereishis, Parshas Toldos, psook 25:29 - 30: "Va yazed Yakov nazid, va yavo Esav min ha sade ve hu ayef" ('And Jacob seethed a pottage, and Esau, coming from the field, and being faint'), "va yomer Esav el Yakov, haleiteni na min ha adom, ha adom haze ki ayef anochi - al ken kara shemo Edom" ('and Esau said to Jacob ‘let me, I beg of you, have some of this red red pottage, for I am faint – wherefore would he be called Edom').

In short, Yakov wheezled Esav’s birthright out of him in return for some beandip, nebech.

[A metzia. Such a gonif, that Yakov, tssk tssk.]


Note that Edom means 'redness', just as ‘ha adom ha adom’ emphatically points to an intense red. These both derive from adama (earth - think of red clay), whence Adam, the first man, who was made of clay. As in our day only a golem is.

[Golem = A being without a will of it’s own, created to perform the wishes of it’s master; a politician, a State Department functionary. The cognate in Arabic (gulam) means slave.]


Once Esav recovered from the worst indigestion he had ever experienced, he realized that he had been had. Since then, Esav has looked upon Yakov with disfavour.


We are much more fortunate – we have an entire row of stomach medicines at Walgreen’s; everything from pink goo-swill for acid, purple pills for reflux, green once-a-days, E-Z Pepsid, various fruit-flavoured chalk-o-tabs for bile and gas, and swallowable charcoal compounds, to complex chemical cocktails which either tighten you up or loosen you down, plus a wide choice of fibrous substances for regularity, and clay & pectin blends for firmness and smooth passage. Kaolin is a mitzvah!

[But you have to wait (unless you stocked up since last Saturday). The end of shabbes brings as much joy as the beginning did - it ain’t just the bsomim either.]



DHANSAK

Jews are not the only tribe that favour methane-fruit bio-hazards for their day of rest - Parsees like to enjoy a fine dhansak on the weekend, followed by either a long and gut-rumbling-disturbed nap, or a half-hearted attempt at pru-urvu in the sweltering tropic heat of a Bombay afternoon.

[Dhansak = A Parsee dish of mixed lentils, meat (mutton), red pumpkin, kasoori methi (fenugreek leaf), and spices, slow stewed, and served with browned rice and potato croquettes or chicken kababs (marghi ni pattice), often on the weekend.]


Busy Bee (nom de guerre of the journalist, editor, and food-meyven Mr. Behram Contractor, himself a Parsee), often waxed eloquent in his columns for The Afternoon Despatch & Courier about this quintessential Parsee dish.

In his column on August 23, 1991 Busy Bee lamented that "the best restaurants for dhansak are closed. Café Health off Meadows Streets, where old waiters moved about in waist-coats and gave brass finger-bowls at the end of the meal; (--) Patuck next door, and Victory Stall on Apollo Bunder..."

[I wonder what caused 'em to close. Maybe it was artery-clog from too much Parsi Dairy ghee....... Pity though, they sound delightful.]


Excellent dhansak may still be had at the Ripon club, opposite Bombay University, and at CCI and Royal Yacht Club – but these are private clubs, and one must be invited.

So fond are Parsees of their dhansak, that they are nicknamed Dhansakiyas, just like Sindhis have become ‘Papad-khor’.


I think once peysach is over I'll go in search of some methi bhaji, and perhaps some pumpkin. I feel an urge coming on.

SHABBES TISH VERTELECH

Something said at Dovbear's shabbes tish reminded me of a text from the as yet uncollected work of the Rabam.

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A NEBBISHER TRINKT BALVENIE

The Rabam explained: "I am reminded of a story my holy ancestor the Rebbe of Prolicz heard from the Dubner Maggid, as follows: Yankel, a poor peasant, was forced to move to a large city to pursue his livelihood. As he and his wife were busy unpacking their possessions at their new abode, a local official dropped by, and Yankel invited him in, asking his wife to make something tasty for the important man, and pulling out his last bottle of GlenMorangie to give him a drink. For two hours, the official ate, drank, and conversed with these new residents of the ward, and left at last looking wel-fed, tiddly, and ever so pleased.

A neighbor across the street, having observed much from his front stoop, figured that he would also enjoy a free lunch off these yokels. So, putting on his best clothes, he crosses the street, knocks at the door, and introduces himself, welcoming Yankel “in the name of the gonze gasse”. “How nice”, says Yankel, “a sheynem dank, have a nice day yourself, a gootbai tu yu”, and turns to go back inside. “Aren’t you going to ask me in?” says the neighbor. “Sorry”, says Yankel, “it is quite late, and we still have much to do, perhaps another time”. And slams the door.

A few years later, Yankel has to appear before the local tax commission. Alas, the freeluncher is one of the commissioners. The case drags on a few weeks, and one day, as the freeluncher passes by Yankel’s house, Yankel rushes out, and frantically invites him in, putting delicacies and some very nice Balvenie 24 year old in front of the man. “Well”, says the man, “this is quite a change from a few years ago, when you wouldn’t even give me the time of day…, and now all of a sudden I’m worthy of the same hospitality as that official?” “Of course”, says Yankel, “A few years ago you were just an nebbish looking for a free lunch. Now, however, I need you on my side. So please, eat, drink, enjoy yourself, and be sure to remember me favourably when the time comes to decide my case.”

And so it is with us - we hope Hak-m Kaddoshboruchhu will remember us favourably when the time comes.

Note: A commenter from Fundie writes: but only if we invite HIM in, Tayereh Yuvon in Sukkah, only if we invite him in.

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Dubner Maggid = Yakov Ben Wolf Kranz of Dubno (1741 – 1804), an itinerant preacher who illuminated his discourse ad nauseum with meshalim (parables and homilies).----------------------------------------------

ORTHODOX CONVERSION? OR MODERN ORTHODOX?

There was another discussion over at Dovbear's, in which I decided not to participate. It was following a posting by Chaim G. / Knuckle Dragging B. / The Bray of Fundie about a modern orthodox rabbi's opinions regarding the conversion issue - particularly the decision by the Orthodox rabbinic establishment in Israel to no longer accept conversions performed by rabbis in golus who have not been vetted by the Chief Rabbinate.

[This posting here: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/11/reasonable-voice-of-angel.html
Which references this article: http://www.forward.com/article/11985/ ]

My readers will no doubt understand why this is both a matter of great interest, and an issue of supreme indifference. I'll be following the discussion but will maintain silence on the subject.

ERRATUM - DOV BAER

HNC (Halfnutcase) wrote:
"Um, the first Dov Ber to become a major face was the maggid of mezritch, the successor of the baal shem tov, and rabbi shneur zalman's master."


He is right. My mistake. I should have been a bit more rigorous.


Rav Shneer Zalman ben Baruch of Liadi (der alter rebbe, Baal Ha Tanya, 1745 – 1812), studied under the Maggid of Mezeritch, Rav Dov Ber – a man of such Chassidic stature that Dov Ber is still one of the most popular names for yingeln in certain districts. After Rav Shneer returned to his native town of Liozna, he spent the next two decades writing his masterpiece, the Tanya (initially named Likutei Amarim – ‘a collection of sayings’, but now known by the first word of the first chapter, which means “we have learned”). His son (Rav Dov Ber ben Zalman, der mitteler rebbe, 1773 – 1812) was named after the Maggid.


Rav Dov Ber of Mezeritch (1710? – 1772), who according to some accounts was descended from Yochanan HaSandlar (the cobbler and scholar familiar to all Talmud students), was a major disciple of the Besht. After studying kabala he learned by the Besht for the last two years that the Besht lived, and became leader of the Chassidic movement a couple of years after the Besht’s death – a position he held until his own passing a decade later. His teachings were eventually gathered into a volume called ‘Likutei Amarim’ – the term is sort of a generic title for such books.

In addition to the Rav Shneer Zalman (see above), one other of the Maggid's disciples also especially deserves attention: Rav Elimelech of Lizhensk (1717 – 1787), who was known as the Rebbe of all Rebbeim (according to Rav Aaron of Beltz) . Rabbi Elimelech was also the teacher of several others who became gedolei ha dor (‘the greats of their age’): the seer of Lublin (Yakov Yitzhok Ha Chozeh, 1745 – 1815), the Koznitzer Maggid (Rabbi Yisroel Hopstein, 1746 - 1815, author of Avodas Yisroel), the Rimanover (Der Heilige Tzaddik Rabbi Menachem Mendel, 1745 - 1815), and the Apter Rav (Rabbi Avrahom Yehoshua Heschel, 1794 - 1876).


Baal Shem Tov, 'the Besht': The Master of the Good Name, Rabbi Yisroel Ben Eliezer (1698 – 1760), founder of Chassidus, teacher of the Maggid of Mezeritch, Rav Dov Baer (1710 – 1772), who in turn taught Rabbi Schneur Zalman (1745 – 1813), the founder of Chabad Chassidus.


Si monumentum requiris, circumspice – provided you are in Lakewood, Boro Park, or anywhere near 770. Tzfat, Bnei Brak, and Mea Shearim are good too.
You could also go upstate to Kiryas Yoel, but do you want to?