EIGHTEEN CIGAR MITZVA

Reb Reicher in New York recently queried me regarding chassidim who "inhale eighteen cigars on yom kippur". At first I was baffled, but then I realized that I am the logical person to ask such things.

What other blog combines tobacco, a dimsummish modicum of Talmud-Torah, and chassidic genealogy?
[Plus penguins, panties, wombat curry, and plotshikke bibber peltzen?]

Besides, I know the Rabam personally. The Rabam, as is well-known, is the descendant of both the Ba'al Ha Turetz AND the Rebbe of Prolicz - both sources of riezige lomdus on this very subject!


My correspondent writes:
All I have is the phrase "Chassidim who inhale eighteen cigars on Yom Kippur". Who are they, which shtroim of chassidus, why precisely do they do that, and what cigars do they prefer? Especially that last datum - is their roichende minhog Honduran, Nicaraguan, or European dry-cured? Long filler, Sumatran wrapper, or Connecticut shade-grown? These are important considerata.

Well, my dear Talmid, it's a special minyen by the rebbe of Tzeger. There's no break on Yom Kippur, they just davven the shtille shimonesro, and then they smoke throughout the entire chazoras ha-shatz of each of the four tefillos of the daytime.


Why eighteen cigars?

Eighteen cigars plus a small cherus (the so-called 'cheruth katan') because there are nineteen benedictions. Rather than changing the name or the symbolism, one accounts for the addition by a different item in the same category - the analogy is with four tins of GLPease tobacco on Peip Sach plus one tin of Cornell & Diehl for Eliyahu Ha-Huma.
The eighteen are life (chai), the cherus represents the minim. The cheroot is optional, though some hold that it is obligatory, because every day we thank our maker for cherus.


According to HaRav BenTzion Halberkrona, the Rebbe of Tzeger explained: "There is a Medrash which says that Eliyahu Ha-Huma was punished for complaining that his people were lax in performing the bendikzions, by being made to be present at every benediction in the future. Hence the "Cigar of Eliyahu". I could never understand how being present at such a holy ceremony could be punishment, but now I see why it is sometimes a matter of great annoyance to be present at some of the functions of our faith - the kavana of eighteen cigars is shverrer on the chest than any amount of beating."


But at Omblatt's, they would smoke eighteen señoritas (or bolknaks, during a shmitta year - the symbolism is lost, though it may have something to do with bolknaks being made from last year's compost heap). With a cup of black coffee for each. Because one should also taste the bitter during the great festivals (strictly murra). The symbolism of a señorita is that kabbalistically it acknowledges the feminine aspect of the divine - the shekinah, zigar anpin, or tiferes.
This per HaRav Kutchner, currently of Kehillos Ohevei Madonna.

[In the same shul of thought, the truly fervent would go north to Mokum Alef for simches toireh...... instead of jannevier (Genever - Dutch Gin), the current minhag is to get so blasted on spliv in a coffee shop that you cannot tell Hamansterdam from whateveritisnejad that you just forgot.]


The Tzegerer minhag is also a rejection of the profligacy of Ruzhin and the Kozhnitzer (to whom Napoleon gifted a precious snuff-box), namely ostentatiously dipping snuff on shabbes or the high holy days, but only on week days smoking fine cigars through amber holders. In recent decades it has become harder to do so, due to the enormous increase in price of stogies - up to six hundred dollars for a box of twenty five handrolled Coronas from a reputable maker (supervised le mehadrin min hamehadrin min hamehadin min hamahadda dadda da).

The correct custom when offering a cigar is to open the box and allow the receiver to take one rather than handing the cigar to someone directly. It is also customary to light cigars for others, especially for women.



The Rebbe's nephew, Shalom Ber Tzigary, writes: "... while the Rebbe walked around Berlin in a beret and a well-tailored suit, his lomdishe brother wore a pair of slacks with his shirt out and his tzitzis showing. While my uncle's hair was short, Leibel's was long and wild, with luxurious peyes. However, it was clear that they really cared for each other. I remember that both of them were physically very strong, and would challenge each other by locking their arms on one another's shoulders and "wrestling" for long periods."
[Reb Leibel Tzigary emigrated to Palestine in 1933 -- his T.A. shtiebl on Nachalos Binyamin was a disorganized mess, with no regular hours, though it was always open on Shabbat; he would strut in front of the grand Kozhinitzer Shul up the block with his Shabbat cigar in hand.]

Reb Leibel is buried with his wife in Sfat. His spouse was employed, after his death, as a religious teacher in Mercaz L'inyonei Cherut in London.



For a full minyan one needs eight boxes of coronas (or thirteen boxes of half-coronas), and one box of señoritas - the excess is traditionally given to the poor, or to your no-good son-in-law's father (pretty much the same thing, really).

The boxes must be cedar, as is written: "imchoma hi nivne aleyha tirat kasef, v'imdelet hi natsur aleyha luach arez".

One time the Baal Ha Turetz was gifted with eighteen fine herring. But he did not eat them, because of the verse "ach basar bechiyo'msterdamo, lo tochelu". That day he breakfasted on Genever (Jannevier, also known in Mokum Alef as jajem (yayim)).
Jannevier is as mayim chayim, but also intense menucha, because HE accompanies one beside still waters, whether pot or patent (Tehillim, mizmor kaf gimmel - p.23:2).


Smoking is a baroicho.

There is no free-association; somebody always has to pay for it.
I think I need more coffee, sukar ziyada.
I hope this answers all of your questions about the eighteen cigars.

SPIRALING INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

A correspondent on the East-Coast wishes that I write something about Chassidim and their cigar-habits. A potential customer in the same neighborhood as the correspondent desires net thirty terms (N30). And a member of our sales department has told someone else that they can have net forty five (N45).

Sometimes it seems as if I am the only person actually left on the planet, and that everybody else has taken a vacation in fantasy-land.


To the cigar-chossid: Probably tomorrow. 'Siz a wichtige sach. Tzarich iyun.

To the potential customer: Why is your business located in a parking spot between the Red Hook recreation area and a vacant industrial lot out near the docks? And why did you list the precise location of Frankel's Shul as your home address? Are rabbis Wolvovsky and Levertov aware that you live in the basement of Kehillos Bnei Shlomo Zalman? Don't you think you should tell them already?

To the sales department: Stop smoking crack. If we haven't done business with someone in over three years, there is no reason to even think of net forty five (N45)! Please think in terms of prepay (PP). We have nothing on them. No up-to-date credit data. Zip-dash-diddly. Bupkes. And stop trying to kiss-up to those people. They don't really like you.
--- --- ---

All of these things explain, of course, why I do what I do. I love people. Particularly, I love their rich inner lives. I too have a rich inner life. But in comparison with some of our potential customers, and our sales department, my rich inner life is a mere shadow, a poor deficient beastie, a crippled and stunted little rich inner life. Their rich inner lives are the big mack daddies of inner lives. The gedolim of phantasmagoria.
Kol hakavod, y'all, I am jealous. Please do not wave your big inner lives around.
I think I need my blankie and my teddy bear now. And I just want to read a bit more about the Tzigarrer Chassidim - that looks comforting and non-threatening. Butterflies.

THE COMMENTS WILL BE ANTI-SEMITIC

The comments will also be just plain stupid and ignorant. Guaranteed.


This in reference to this article in the Algemeen Dagblad:
http://www.ad.nl/buitenland/2412888/Hoed_inzet_van_straatoorlog.html


It's in Dutch, but the gist of it is that two groups of Vishnitzer Chassidim in Bnei Brak are in conflict over the succession of the two sons of Rabbi Yehoshua Moshe Hagar, fighting not with Saturday-night specials or machine guns, but by grabbing as many shtreimlech of the opposing side as they can - thus forcing the other side to negotiate or give in, rather than losing the investment which their headgear necessitated.

When Rabbi Yehoshua Moshe Hagar fell ill, his followers divided into two camps - supporters of rabbi Yisroel and supporters of rabbi Menachem Mendel. The first side controls the shul, the second the neighborhood.

A shtreimel can be very expensive indeed - a few thousand dollars. Hence captured shtreimels becoming "hostages".


Anyhow, this furry mishegoss is not earth-shattering news, and there are precious few amongst the readers of the Algemeen Dagblad who will actually know what a Chassid is, where Bnei Brak might be located, or in fact that Chassidim are not a majority of practicing Jews. Many Dutch are fairly ignorant about matters outside their own fold, and most comments under internet articles reflect that ignorance abundantly.

The Dutch are also exceptionally good at criticizing the ideas, habits, and customs of others. And generally being negative.
[We call that 'azijn-zijken' or 'terpentijn-pissen', both of which terms would be unprintable in English, but refer to a stream of burning liquid (azijn: vinegar; terpentijn: turpentine) coming out of the urethra. There's also a term about testicularly dessicated individuals who have congress with canaries, or ants..... Dutch is a very flavourful language.]

Lashon Hara and Lashon Holanda are cousins. Perhaps not actual bloodrelatives, but they're closer than two ridgerunners in a barn.


So I'm predicting that the comments underneath the article in the Algemeen Dagblad will be repulsive.
And at some point some iggerunt cheese will bring up the Palestinians. Because, of course, ANYthing Jewish must naturally mean EVERYthing Jewish, Jewish means Israeli, and Israeli means repression of Palestinians and (by implication) exploitation of innocent and helpless natives all over the third-world.
Manifestly, wearing a fur hat is another way of imposing tyranny.