YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE A SPACE ALIEN!

Having read some social media posts in Dutch recently, I am pleased to inform you that both Jews and Moroccans are female reproductive organs, looters are cancer, and rioters are scrotums, just like the weather (which is also a reproductive organ of either gender). Americans are also female reproductive organs, which is very penisy of us.
And many things are also cholera as well as the result of defecation.

Dutch is a very poetic language. Honest.

Cancer. Cholera. Female reproductive organ. Male reproductive organ. Scrotum. Testicles. And, as you by now probably expect, a male farmer's reproductive organ.
Plus tuberculosis or tuberculoid. And Turkish.

And of course, French conditions, circumstances, and ways of doing things. This isn't Paris, naked name of the diety (nakende nom de dieu). Or London.
So it will all be a sausage to me.


In addition to being a poetic language, Dutch is also used for much scientific writing, medical articles, and legal texts. As well as for eloquently expressing love and devotion.
That it hasn't become the language of diplomacy is an outrage.
That's one of those totally baffling things.
Gast-flabbering, in fact.

Given the depth, delicacy, and capacity for subtle refinement that the language of Brederode and Vondel encompasses, it is, on the other hand, not at all surprising that the phrase most Americans will hear when trying out something in Dutch, on a visit or schooltrip to the centre of the civilized world, is "that's okay, we speak English". Because we do. And very well.


The one thing which my apartment mate knows how to say perfectly in Dutch is a request for herring with some chopped onion. More than anything else it convinces folks that she is a worthwhile human being when she is surrounded by Dutch people.

She sounds like a civilized person.
Because she is.



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