In Valkenswaard, as an American growing up in overseas, I never felt truly 'inside', though pre- and post high school was less so. Berkeley was a foreign place to me, and those first few months I was offensively home-sick and determined to hate the place. When I moved to North Beach, where everybody seems on the Asperger scale, we were all 'not in'.
So less outside. Peculiar, but one foot in the doorway.
In Chinatown, where I am by definition 'not in', being a Caucasian, I actually feel slightly more in. Seeing as I can sort of speak Chinese and read the menu. Cantonese people are in some ways very accepting of oddity, very much more so if you speak their language or even look like them. You've met them halfway (well, not at all on the 'look like them' page, though I am recognizably human), and although you may smell "different" (as a pipesmoking older white person that's a given), talk funny (no, really, where are you actually from?), and probably eat too much or not enough or something else, they'll treat you as an equal and sort of a recognizable quantity. At least you're not an idiot.
And in any case, over the years no one has made snide remarks about my accent and way of talking, unlike regular America, or suggested that I go back to where ever the heck I came from. They mind their own business. A recent conversation made that clear, which I belatedly realized. What was my name? And age? And did I come to Chinatown often?
How had I learned Cantonese? And what did I do?
Remarkably, my marital status didn't come up.
Neither did place of birth or whatever.
Usually, once they've seen me once or twice, people will automatically speak Cantonese, even though my fluency in that language is stumblesome most of the time.
Let's just say I often bang into conversational walls or furniture.
There are a number of places where I tend to go fairly often, in addition to Chinese Hospital and their pharmacy there (refills!), my bank (they recognize me at all of the locations) and my favourite provisioners. Restaurants and bakeries. It's a question of decent treatment, comfort, courtesy, a sense of privacy, and stuff which I like eat.
牛麵王 UTOPIA CAFÉ
地址：139 Waverly Place, San Francisco CA 94108.
電話： 415-956-2902，
P0rk trotters with fermented tofu over rice (南乳豬手飯 'naam yü chü sau faan'), stewed beef with chu hou paste and rice (柱侯牛腩飯 'chü hau ngau naam faan').
荷里活茶餐廳 NEW HOLLYWOOD BAKERY & RESTAURANT
地址：652 Pacific Avenue,
San Francisco, CA 94133.
電話：415-397-9919.
Darn good porkchops and rice (豬扒飯 'chyu baa faan') . Also good dumplings in soup (韭菜豬肉水餃 'gau choi chyu yiuk suei gaau') .
六富餃子 TODAY FOOD
地址：601 Kearny Street,
San Francisco, CA 94108.
電話：415-994-1516.
Northern style dumplings (水餃 'sui gaau'), very good. And more. Mandarin speakers, btw.
金門腸粉 RICE ROLL EXPRESS
地址：1131 Stockton Street,
San Francisco, CA 94133.
電話：415-939-2753.
Excellent pork cheung fun (豬肉腸粉 'chyu yiuk cheung fan'), pork liver cheung fun (豬肝腸粉 'chyu gon cheung fan'):, and shrimp cheung fun (鮮蝦腸粉 'sin haa cheung fan').
森記糕點餐廳 MA'S DIMSUM & CAFE
地址：1315 Powell Street,
San Francisco, CA 94133.
電話：415-788-3532.
A large selection of claypot rice (煲仔飯 'pou chai faan').
I have not yet tried the eel (黃鱔 'wong sin').
港新寶燒腊小食 KAM PO (H.K.) K. - KAM PO KITCHEN
地址：801 Broadway,
San Francisco, CA 94133.
電話：415-982-3516.
Roast duck (燒鴨 'siu ngaap'), roast duck over rice (燒鴨飯 'siu ngaap faan'), roast pork (燒肉 'siu yiuk'), charsiu (叉燒), etcetera.
Yes, there are others. But these sort of stand out.
And of course once I leave I light my pipe.
As I think everyone should do.
Both genders, all ages.
It's natural.
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