DINING AND FINE DINING

There are several dishes at Canto eateries which you know from home cooking, but which you also know from all those times when you're lazy and decide to eat out. During warmer weather you might head over wearing pajama pants, a tee shirt, and flip-flops. Which you cannot do in San Francisco when the temperature hovers near fifty Fahrenheit.
And in any case the white people might object.

Not me, of course, because I find all manifestations of eccentric behaviour fascinating, and as I recognize that that's a sign of a personal comfort zone rather than dangerous craziness from drugged-out fentanyl freaks, it doesn't disturb me. There you'll be, one flip-flopped foot drawn up on the chair, scrolling through the news and your social media feed with your left hand, while happily tucking into claypot rice with your right.

It's a restaurant where white people don't go, because they don't know what the food is, and they associate casseroles with either inedible Chicago pizza or Midwestern potlucks.
The clientele do not look like Iowa, the food does not look Chicago.


After watching Jon Stewart's rant about pizza I'm not even sure you can get food in Chicago. Perhaps it's why they swill Malört. It clears the taste of kibble out of their mouth, and they're filled with such soul-crushing angst that Malört tastes bearable. Not okay. Bearable. Barely.
Iowa still hasn't learned about salt and pepper. So much more angstig. Poor bastards.

Some dishes I despair of ever getting my fellow glow-in-the-dark white people to try. That is to say, I assume they'll wrinkle their noses at the suggestion and say something incredibly stupid, so I never even try.

Anything with salt fish (鹹魚 'haam yü'), for instance. White Americans are predisposed to feign repulsion at the concept, and act all culturally superior. Kind of like Northern Chinese.

Three home style dishes you should, ideally be able to get at the corner restaurant: Steamed pork and salt fish (鹹魚豬肉丁 'haam yü chü yiuk ding'), steamed salt fish pork patty (鹹魚蒸肉餅 'haam yü jing yiuk beng'), and salt fish and chicken fried rice (鹹魚雞粒炒飯 'haam yü gai nap chaau faan'). If they don't do any of those, consider moving.

If you wish to make them at home, look for "plum fragrance salt fish" (梅香鹹魚 'mui heung haam yü'). Which means that is not just dried, but fermented. Good stuff.

And if you can't find that locally, good lord get out.
You live in Iowa without realizing it.



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